WORST Christmas Songs Ever - Vanity

11/19/2012 | VRWCmember

[VRWCmember]

Please share your contributions for the list of worst Christmas songs ever.

[massmike]

Peter Pan Caroleers - I Want an Elephant for Christmas
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0YdiVtWQiOg

[Doogle]

Dominick The Italian Christmas Donkey....without a doubt, after hearing it maybe three times during the season it sticks in my head till well after Jan.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nQrdxtWgHbE

[stilloftyhenight]

Anything with singing dogs or cats.

[tsowellfan]

All Christmas/Political songs like the ones with billionaires preaching to us to help the poor when all they have to do is go there, give all their money away and live in their neighborhoods spending the rest of their lives handing out food, building bridges and new homes for them.

Grandma got ran over by a reindeer

Adam Sandler’s The Thanksgiving Song (which bleeds into the Christmas Season so far it’s heard all the way until New Years.

[fidelis]

Bruce Springsteen’s grating version of “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” which the radio insists on playing during the holidays. When it comes on I can’t turn my radio off fast enough.

[Jack Hydrazine]

Christmas At Ground Zero
by Weird Al Yankovic
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t039p6xqutU

The Night Santa Went Crazy
by Weird Al Yankovic
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tb-Mce9VpmY

Westside
by Doctor Dyke and The Cinnamon Cowboys
http://www.myspace.com/drdyke/music/songs/westside-27040569

Smells Like Xmas Spirit
by Doctor Dyke and The Cinnamon Cowboys
http://www.myspace.com/drdyke/music/songs/smells-like-xmas-spirit-27040567

[Dr. Sivana]

“Ho,Ho,Ho (Who’d Want to be a Turkey at Christmas?)” —Elton John circa 1973.

[LukeL]

Last Christmas is a great song, how about the barking dogs?

[Ingtar]

For accuracy? I Saw Three Ships. If they were sailing into Bethlehem, they were airships.

[bigbob]

I have hundreds of comedy/novelty/goofy Christmas Songs and over 20 hours of the fabulous (now long discontinued) “Special X” program from XM Radio, and love ‘em all. The more weird, awful, irreverent, naughty, etc - the better.

Except one. I don’t know what the name of this monstrosity is, but it’s a spoken word thing about a little girl in an orphanage named “Mary Christmas” and it makes me want to climb up in the belltower with an AK47! SO I settle for mentally dragging the needle across the record grooves and hit the skip button. It is truly beyond the pale, and I like the pale.

[GrandJediMasterYoda]

Yep. Just what I was going to say. Usually I break the radio.

[rurgan]

Not worst but most touching - I’ll Be Home For Christmas - salute to troops

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=isZ8MBQQNxk

[Olog-hai]

Where would King Diamond’s No Presents For Christmas fit on this list . . . ?

[Texas Eagle]

That stupid Beach Boys song. I have successfully blocked the title from my memory bank so don't nobody post the name of it.

Also Little Drummer Boy.

[gura]

Santa is a Psycho by Dan Hart- oh wait, I LOVE this song!

[dorothy]

Spike Jones: All I Want For Christmas is My Two Front Teeth
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=69W1mpBQPJE

[Gil4]

I’m sure I’ll get a bunch of “Oh, I love that song” comments, but I absolutely hate “Toy Packaging” by Sara Groves.

[bigbob]

I can’t let this thread go without a Long Distance Dedication to our Special Friend, Bawney Fwank, in this festive season:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XU8IQqcq270

[djf]

No matter who sings it, I always hated the
Pa-rumpa-dump-a-frumpy-lumpy-ump song....

Dump that song in the sump! Please!

[Mike Darancette]

Bark,Bark,Bark.... Bark,Bark,Bark... Bark, Bark.... Bark,Bark,Bark.

[moose07]

Slade-Here it is merry Christmas

[Dawgreg]

Aww shucks....I love Paul McCartney’s A Wonderful Christmas Time. I never did like Burl Ives “Have A Holly, Jolly Christmas”......ugh.

[Revolting cat!]

Anything by Kenny G., Barry Malinow, Brbra, Lionel Richchey.

[South40]

Drunk Santa - De Va La Gött

[Alaska Wolf]

Anything with singing dogs or cats.

How about chipmunks?

[Charles Henrickson]

Some song about buying shoes for somebody dying at Christmas. Treacly, maudlin, yecch. Heard it once, which was too much.

[Olog-hai]

The Slade song you’re referring to is actually called Merry Christmas Everybody . . . and if it were not played to death every blasted December in the British Isles and beyond, it might be tolerable.

The other song that gets played to death over there is I Wish It Could Be Christmas Every Day by a band called Wizzard (lead singer Roy Wood, formerly of ELO). Those two songs get played so much together, they begin to meld together after a while . . . total horrors.

[Tramonto]

I may be the only one but I hate “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” Im not even sure why but I even prefer barking dogs to that one.

[ConservativeStatement]

A King Diamond reference. :-)

“Jingle Hell” by Wargasm.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ggVMtGPC_1s

[ConservativeStatement]

“Santa Baby” by Madonna.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ycWObpi73Y

[Charles Henrickson]

Now I make a distinction between songs about the real Christmas—especially the great Christian Christmas hymns, which are rarely heard on the radio—between that, and what passes for “Christmas” in the pop culture, and which is played on the radio from mid-November up UNTIL Christmas, and then it suddenly stops, just as the real Christmas (the twelve days) is getting underway. I don’t mind some of the pop “Christmas” songs—they can be fun or cute or nostalgiac—but I don’t confuse them with real Christmas.

[Jack Hydrazine]

12 Days of Christmas
by Bob and Doug MacKenzie
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l2oPio60mK4

Santa and His Old Lady
by Cheech and Chong
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XSH9ryRzHQ4

[Jack Hydrazine]

How about “Danny Boy”?

Oops! Wrong thread!

[ApplegateRanch]

3) Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas

2) Holly, Jolly Christmas

1) Fleas Navy, Dad Okay; okay! José Feliciano’s Feliz Navidad (almost as bad to listen to as 96 Tears the rest of the year)

Runner up: Jingle Bell Rock

[Olog-hai]

Feliciano covered the wrong Doors tune. Shoulda been “Horse Latitudes” instead.

[Olog-hai]

Especially when it’s by Doctor Demento, yes?

[Roccus]

I have hundreds of comedy/novelty/goofy Christmas Songs and over 20 hours of the fabulous (now long discontinued) “Special X” program from XM Radio, and love ‘em all. The more weird, awful, irreverent, naughty, etc - the better

There was a talking blues version of A Christmas Carol that I heard, only once, back in the late seventies. IIRC, it was in a ghetto setting and used inner city vernacular. It may have been recorded before then. Are you familiar with it?

[Roccus]

“How about chipmonks?”

---

“Merry Christmas From Brooklyn”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vy2nzZqGGsY

[Revolting cat!]

[BOOHA]

anything wayne newton

[Kevin in California]

How about posting your favorite Christmas song(s)? Mine has always been this one.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sHaqsQRd0UQ

[Arthur McGowan]

An Old Fashioned Christmas
Linda Somebody

(A bunch of people get killed in a bus crash—but screw them!—Daddy got home safe.)

[Revolting cat!]

[laweeks]

3. Last Christmas I Gave You My Heart, by George Michael / Wham?

Gotta’ be the absolute worst ever . . . I get mad when I hear this piece of garbage over loud speakers. Good God.

[Revolting cat!]

[Revolting cat!]

[Revolting cat!]

[Revolting cat!]

[Jim from C-Town]

“Do They Know It's Christmas?”
God, I hate this song. It is pretentious, repetitive, and just plain awful.
OVER AND OVER. Makes me pine for February!