Posted on 09/17/2012 4:59:39 AM PDT by SMARTY
The kids filed into class Monday morning.
They were all very excited.
Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on salesmanship.
Little Sally led off. "I sold Girl Scout cookies and I made $30" she said proudly, "My sales approach was to appeal to the customer's civil spirit and I credit that approach for my obvious success."
"Very good", said the teacher.
Little Debbie was next. "I sold magazines" she said, "I made $45 and I explained to everyone that magazines would keep them up on current events."
"Very good, Debbie", said the teacher.
Eventually, it was Little Johnny's turn. The teacher held her breath. Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full of cash on the teacher's desk. "$2,467", he said.
"$2,467!" cried the teacher, "What in the world were you selling?"
Toothbrushes", said Little Johnny. "Toothbrushes", echoed the teacher, "How could you possibly sell enough tooth brushes to make that much money?"
"I found the busiest corner in town", said Little Johnny, "I set up a Dip & Chip stand and I gave everybody who walked by a free sample." They all said the same thing, "Hey, this tastes like dog poop!" Then I would say, "It is dog poop. Wanna buy a toothbrush?
I used the President Obama method of giving you some crap, dressing it up so it looks good, telling you it's free… and then making you pay to get the bad taste out of your mouth."
Little Johnny jokes?
So, it was vocabulary day and the children were supposed to go to the front of the room and use a vocabulary word, chosen by the teacher, in a sentence.
Little Mary went to the front of the room and the teacher asked her to use the word ‘flower’ in a sentence. “My mother bought me a quilt with a big flower embroidered on it.:
“Very good!” said the teacher and Little Mary took her seat.
Little Debbie was next and was given the word ‘shelf’. “My mother gave me a new book and I put it on the shelf when I finished reading it,” the little girl said and then took her seat.
Little Johnny swaggered to the front of the class. The teacher looked for a word that was completely nonconfrotational and settled on the word ‘beautiful’.
She gave him the word, smilled and waited. Little Johnny thought for a moment and said, “My daddy was reading the paper this morning when my 12 year old sister came in and told him she was pregnant. My dad dropped the paper and said, “Beautiful, f*#&ing beautiful.”
Well, that little Johhny is a real pistol!
LOL!
Little Johnny obviously doesn’t live in Chicago.
Teacher: “Okay, it’s time for today’s word lesson. Today’s word is ‘ear’. Who can spell ‘ear’ and use it in a sentence?”
(Several hands go up)
Teacher: “Okay Suzie, you try.”
Suzie: “Ear...E - E - R.”
Teacher: “No Suzie, I’m sorry but that’s not right. Tommy, your turn to try.”
Tommy: “EAR...E - R - E.”
Teacher: “Sorry Tommy, but that’s not quite right either.”
(Little Johnnie’s hand is waving madly)
Teacher (with a troubled look): “Okay Johnnie, you try.”
Little Johnnie: “EAR...E - A - R.”
Teacher: “That’s RIGHT! Now can you use it in a sentence?”
Johnnie: “Sure I can! (Pretends to hit on a joint holding it between thumb and index finger) “sssssssss” (sound of inhale) ...passes it to teacher and says “ear”
Good story.
That, is a good one.
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