Harry Potter dwarf spared jail over juggler's hat sex act

The Telegraph (U.K.) ^ | July 29, 2011

[mowowie]

Nicholas Reads father is very concerned.....

[discostu]

I’m not sure a guy whose total screen time in his career adds up to under an hour and is mostly in heavy enough make-up to make him unrecognizable is a celebrity. Probably the judge just doesn’t feel a dwarf is a threat, he’d be wrong, but that’s probably why he went easy.

[ruesrose]

Those pesky dwarves always have their noses in everybody’s business.

[Cletus.D.Yokel]

I believe it is a chokenswallow

[SoCal SoCon]

Weirdest thread of the day.

[null and void]

Thanks for getting the gag...

[Cletus.D.Yokel]

Gag? Gag you say?

Damn near killed ‘im!

[rockvillem]

What kind of bird is that, a swallow?

What do you mean, an African or a European swallow?

[null and void]

Oy don’t know that! AAAAIIIIIIEEEEE!

[Chode]

i can tell it's friday... 8^)

[Slings and Arrows]

The title alone.

All that's missing are fake testicles.

[rockvillem]

Oy don’t know that! AAAAIIIIIIEEEEE!

Sweet - I was hoping you'd get that!

[Two Kids' Dad]

So... does the “juggler’s hat sex act” have an actual definition? Or are they just implying that he was spanking the little stubby guy while concealing the act by placing a hat over the offending rhythmic fist-pumping?

On a side note, Juggler’s Hat Sex Act would be a great name for a band. Imagine that on a marquee outside a club. And the opening act would be a band called Free Beer, of course.

[Stoat]

i can tell it's friday... 8^)

 

Nuke it from orbit.  It's the only way to be certain.

 

 

[ApplegateRanch]

“including an incident in which he clambered into the bed of a stage manager and his girlfriend”

Begs the question of why his girlfriend was in the stage manager's bed; as to why he clambered in, he just wanted to...

give a little; take a little...

[Harmless Teddy Bear]

I am not sure how I would explain this thread to my mother....

[NicknamedBob]

"I am not sure how I would explain this thread to my mother...."

"Good news, Mom! I've just read that criminal activities are smaller in scale."

[SunkenCiv]

Thanks Stoat.

has recently been hiring himself out to stag parties, offering to be handcuffed to the stag while dressed as a diminutive fictional character

They actually have live stags at UK stag parties?

[Erasmus]

I went to one once. The guy who got the movie for us started it up.

The opening credit read "Alonzo: Wild Stag of the North."

They kicked the guy out of the frat house.

≤}B^)

[Stoat]

Thanks Stoat.

You're quite welcome ;-)

They actually have live stags at UK stag parties?

This appears to be one of the numerous peculiarities inherent to traditions of the UK, such as Jellied Eels

 

 

 

Morris Dancing,

 

 

 

 

 

assigning 'odd' names to certain cylindrical consumer products that are placed in the mouth,

 

 

 

and forcing Ladies to wear hats that are specifically designed to frighten children,

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

as well as what we Yanks would tend to consider as being rather unorthodox Veterinary practices.

  ‪Monty Python - Confuse-A-Cat‬‏ - YouTube
 

 

How this tradition of dwarves dressing as smurfs or oompa-loompas and handcuffing themselves to (presumably) the lower leg or hoof of a (presumably) wild stag evolved, I have no idea but I would suggest that it 'may' be one of the reasons for the Mayflower's departure.  Just a guess.

 

"snicker"