Posted on 09/16/2010 6:13:56 PM PDT by Inappropriate Laughter
Last Friday, the people united for a spontaneous demonstration in the streets of Redmond to symbolically lay the iPhone to rest. That corrupt, degenerate device simply cannot withstand the unstoppable assault of the Microsoft Kin- er, that is, Windows Phone 7, just as the pathetic iPod fell beneath the boot of the glorious Zune!
Even the lowly 4GB Zune and its 8GB cousin proved more than a match for its so-called competitors. On its 1.8” screen, we can see the vision of a new world in the making! Perhaps Zune’s success is due to its Zune Pad controls, which resemble nothing anyone has ever seen before in the history of time. Perhaps Zune owes its triumph to the wireless Zune-to-Zune capability, with which the legions of devoted Zune supporters can share songs with the other Zune users who are always nearby. Or perhaps it was the Zune Marketplace, the unprecedented online store that has forever changed the way people buy music and video.
In any case, one thing is clear: the Zune’s smashing victory over the iPod provides a fail-safe blueprint for Microsoft’s next dazzling achievement. It was this confidence in the Microsoft Kin- heh, I really have to break that habit, I mean Windows Phone 7 that brought the masses onto the streets of Redmond to bury the loathsome iPhone once and for all.
Oh, and do not be alarmed at those explosions outside the company gates. They are merely, um, fireworks! Yeah, fireworks, uh, to celebrate how awesome everything’s going! Onward to the shining future and stuff!
I’m happy with my plain ‘ol no frills cell phone. I don’t need to read messages constantly. I used to wait five to seven days to get a letter in the mail, so I don’t mind waitng until I get home from work to read an e-mail someone may have sent to me, and I may wait a couple of days to reply, if I feel like it.
Nothing more than Microsoft Derangement Syndrome.
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