Lies to tell tourists (Humor; A lesson on "spin")

Time Out Shanghai (Magazine) | January 2010 | Editors

[John Leland 1789]

Tall tales are better.

When escalators were first introduced in Shanghai in the 1980s, authorities were worried about stampedes on the new contraptions.

So they put out a pamphlet, 'Escalate Two By Two For Harmonious Escalating', which encouraged people to stand side-by-side on escalators, thus creating a barrier to prevent excessive movement up or down.

The campaign worked, and nowadays Shanghai's escalator riders are as intent as ever on preventing stampedes by not allowing you to pass when you're in a rush.

[John Leland 1789]

Sorry, the magazine does not include a web site URL for some reason.

This may only be humorous to people who have travelled in very crowded Asian cities.....don't know.

[dumpthelibs]

We lived in Singapore for 2 years in the late 90’s and getting around there and anywhere in Asia was “molecular” for me, meaning you were constantly bumping or dodging people who see you directly ahead but are too f-ing ignorant to move so you would collide with them more often than not. Being that Americans are somewhat larger than the typical Asian, I eventually got into giving the collider a forearm shiver to their shoulder. It didn’t make navigating there any easier, just more fun. All those years at linebacker paid off.

[I Buried My Guns]

As a person who lived near San Francisco most of his life, I gotta say: The Chinese are the worst.

Orderly lines, with the latecomer going to the end? That does not factor into their worldview.

Elbowing small children so as to get to the desired produce at the supermarket? Why yes, that DOES factor into their worldview.

Hawking a big loogie of mucus and spittle onto the sidwalk while standing 6 inches from me? An innate facet of their worldview.

[John Leland 1789]

“getting around [Singapore] and anywhere in Asia was “molecular” . . .

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Good term, “molecular” — know exactly what you mean. We come up with all kinds of expressions. For example, in operating an automobile on the freeway in Shanghai, you don’t merge — you “ooze.” The same in Manila, believe me.

When living in Harbin, China, I always thought it would be useful to have a 6 volt DC cattle prod when riding the buses. That would be to “help-out” those who act like they are the only passenger on that 60 passenger bus that is carrying 180.

[John Leland 1789]

“As a person who lived near San Francisco most of his life, I gotta say: The Chinese are the worst.

“Orderly lines, with the latecomer going to the end? That does not factor into their worldview.

“Elbowing small children so as to get to the desired produce at the supermarket? Why yes, that DOES factor into their worldview.

“Hawking a big loogie of mucus and spittle onto the sidwalk while standing 6 inches from me? An innate facet of their worldview.”

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Now, there you go profiling! Ha!

What you described is still the general rule every day in Shanghai.

My mother did “domestic work” for wealthy oriental folks while I was growing up, and used to constantly tell me how very polite they were.

. . . . Then I got to Hebei Province, China . . .