Posted on 07/19/2009 8:06:57 PM PDT by dannyboy72a
A man died this morning. He was a good man and he was sent to heaven. As he stood at the pearly gates, he noticed a huge wall of clocks. From left to right and top to bottom, there were endless clocks. The man looked to St Michael and said, what are all of these clocks?
These are truth clocks, he said. Everyone has one and each time you tell a lie, the hand moves one tick. The man looked around and saw one pointing straight up and he asked St Michael, whose clock is that. St Michael says, that is Mary of Bethlehem's clock, the mother of Jesus. She never told a single lie. Her clock has not moved.
A few clocks away, the man noticed another clock with just a couple of ticks. Whose clock is that the man asked. St Michael said, that is Abraham Lincoln of Illinois. He told two lies in his whole life. The man continued to look at the wall of clocks and then turned to St Michael again. Where is the clock for Barrack Obama of Hawaii?
St Michael said, I think you mean Barrack Obama of Kenya and his clock is in Jesus' office.
He's using it as a ceiling fan.
Dear Friend,
We have the distinguished honor of being on the committee for raising twenty million dollars for placing a statue of Barack Obama in the Hall of Fame in Washington D.C. (It's going to be a BIG statue.)
This committee was in a quandary as to where to place the statue.
It was not wise to place it beside the statue of George Washington, who never told a lie, nor beside Senator Joe McCarthy, who never told the truth, since Barack Obama can't tell the difference.
We finally decided to place it beside the statue of Christopher Columbus, the greatest Democrat of all.
He left not knowing where he was going, did not know where he was, returned not knowing where he had been, and did it all on borrowed money.
Over 5,000 years ago, Moses said to the children of Israel, “Pick up your shovels, mount your asses and camels, and I will lead you to the Promised Land!”
Nearly 5,000 years later, Roosevelt said, “Lay down your shovels, sit on your asses, and light up a Camel, this *IS* the Promised Land!”
Now, Barack Obama is going to steal your shovels, kick your asses, raise the price of Camels, and mortgage the Promised Land.
If you are one of the fortunate few who has anything left after taxes, we expect a generous contribution to this worthwhile project.
Fraternally, The Barack Obama Statue Committee
>>First time I heard that joke it was Nixon’s clock that was used as a fan, so you know it’s been around for a while.<<
When I first heard it, it was Ramses I’s sundial...
I had no idea you were as old as me!
>>I had no idea you were as old as me!<<
What is sad is the joke is older than both of us! Put together!
phew! For an instant I didnt see the “l” on clocks.
(extra points if you had said Helen Thomas)
is it a death clock, Dethklok?
Without getting into the joke, I can say this about that... LOL..
Quote...
The man looked around and saw one pointing straight up and he asked St Michael, whose clock is that. St Michael says, that is Mary of Bethlehem’s clock, the mother of Jesus. She never told a single lie. Her clock has not moved.
Comment on that one... “Liar, liar, pants on fire!”.... LOL...
LOL. Funny. Thanks for sharing.
Sort of like residents of Chicago and their corrupt police force. They take pride in it.
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