Shocked Russian surgeons open up man who thought he had a tumour...find a FIR TREE inside his lung

dailymail.co.uk ^ | April 14, 2009 | Will Stewart

[Free ThinkerNY]

Shocked Russian surgeons claim they found a five-centimetre fir tree growing inside a man's lung as they operated on him for suspected cancer.

The amazing discovery apparently was made when they opened up Artyom Sidorkin, 28, to remove what they thought was a serious tumour.

Sidorkin had complained of extreme pain in his chest and had been coughing up blood. Doctors were convinced he had cancer, Russian website mosnews.com reported.

'We were 100 per cent sure,' said surgeon Vladimir Kamashev from Izhevsk in the Urals. 'We did X-rays and found what looked exactly like a tumour.

'I had seen hundreds before, so we decided on surgery.'

Before removing part of the man's lung, the surgeon investigated the tissue - and said they found what looked like grown fir tree needles in it.

'I thought I was hallucinating,' said Kamashev.

[OafOfOffice]

That’s socialized health care for ya. You can grow trees inside you before your ticket comes up for medical care. /sarcasm

[dblshot]

His main symptom was a bark from deep in his chest.

[silverleaf]

He’s gonna get needled about that!

O Tannenbaum ....

[gargoyle]

...Damn, I was just about to take LSD, Rye ergot growing in my stomach? Naaaaa...

[a fool in paradise]

Shocked Russian surgeons claim they found a five-centimetre fir tree growing inside a man's lung as they operated on him for suspected cancer.

They need to get a better X-Ray machine. Something more modern than 1962.

Good news is the radiation he probably got from that old equipment may have killed any cancer...

[SJSAMPLE]

Do you think it changed the timbre of his singing?

[AirForceMom]

Fresh breath, pine scented.

[a fool in paradise]

'I thought I was hallucinating,' said Kamashev.

[pepsi_junkie]

Did the doctors tap him for the syrup?

[silverleaf]

I think he’ll no longer have to be in a cone of silence

[Attention Surplus Disorder]

Not to be “outgreened”, Les Flertner of Elyria, Ohio immediately set about the arduous task of mulching his liver in preparation for the arduous task of starting a vegetable garden in his peritonal cavity.

[Heartland Mom]

Ah, how could it be growing without sunlight?

[Tarheel]

Perhaps had the surgeon looked in the other lung he would have found a partridge. Then we would have a partridge in a fir tree......

[never4get]

The growing fir tree was a real pine in the chest

[kidd]

“Shocked Russian surgeons open up man who thought he had a tumour...find a FIR TREE inside his lung”

I hate it when that happens.

[ducdriver]

His wife thought he was a sap.

[Attention Surplus Disorder]

Interesting thought! Perhaps he’s found not only the permanent cure for bad breath, but all his neighbors are inviting him to ride in their cars based as his reputation as the “human air freshener”.

[joe fonebone]

puns like that one have a way of branching out.....

[Deo volente]

Better a fir tree than an alien...

[Buckeye McFrog]

looks like he was trying to grow the tobacco in place to get around those SCHIP taxes....

[Joe 6-pack]

The man was referred (re-firred?) to a specialist...

[FrPR]

Medically, that’s gotta be con’o’a fir-st

[dblshot]

“puns like that one have a way of branching out.....’

Well sometimes ya have to go out on a limb. At least they found it before Christmas when it could have metastasized into a Christmas tree.

[dblshot]

At least they got to the root of the problem.

[Travis T. OJustice]

“Pining for the fjords” ping.

[mikrofon]

The amazing discovery apparently was made when they opened up Artyom Sidorkin, 28, to remove what they thought was a serious tumour

Needles to say, they were relieved to find out otherwise...

[mikrofon]

Actually, they were releaved to find out...

[joe fonebone]

now I am worn out.......better just leaf me alone for now...

[yazoo]

Seems more likely he inhaled a piece of a fir tree. I doubt if a seed could sprout inside your lungs.

[ImJustAnotherOkie]

I’d hate to see what they found if his ass was hurting.

[dblshot]

OK go dormant if you feel like it.

[joe fonebone]

now i feel like a sap...

[Travis T. OJustice]

Seems more likely he inhaled a piece of a fir tree. I doubt if a seed could sprout inside your lungs.

A seed is far more likely to germinate than a piece of a tree is likely to continue to grow. Seeds are often distributed by animals ingesting them, then excreting them after they pass the digestive system.

If you think about it, a lung is a perfect incubator for a seed. Warm, moist, etc. The plant wouldn't need sunlight for photosynthesis for a while.

[Travis T. OJustice]

now i feel like a sap...

Not as bad as the doctors who got stumped by this.

[a fool in paradise]

Ah, how could it be growing without sunlight?

[joe fonebone]

and i think they should just stick it..........

[Badabing Badablonde]

Man, I hate it when I get fir trees in my lungs!!

[yazoo]

“The plant wouldn’t need sunlight for photosynthesis for a while.”

Don’t plants need sunlight to turn green? If you block a plant from all light it will turn white before it dies. Do fir trees work differently?

[Travis T. OJustice]

Do fir trees work differently?

Nope.

[Kenton]

Not to be “outgreened”, Les Flertner of Elyria, Ohio immediately set about the arduous task of mulching his liver in preparation for the arduous task of starting a vegetable garden in his peritonal cavity.

LOL... I graduated from high school there (Elyria, Ohio). Just funny seeing that...

[alexander_busek]

They need to get a better X-Ray machine. Something more modern than 1962.

No kiddin'!

I once spent two weeks at a sanatorium run by the military on the Crimean Peninsula. Upon arrival, all inductees had to undergo a preliminary medical examination. The physician (female) who examined me used an old-style wooden stethoscope to listen to my heart. They didn't have wooden tongue depressors, though - the physician used her finger!

That was in the year 2002!

Regards,

[martin_fierro]

No amateurs, please. Send FReepmail if you want on/off ISHP list
The List of Ping Lists

IN SOVIET ЯUSSIA TЯEE GЯOW YEW

[yazoo]

“Do fir trees work differently?
Nope.”

Then I stick to my view he inhaled a piece of a fir tree. It is green in the pictures.

[Travis T. OJustice]

That’s a hell of a piece to inhale! I don’t see any green inthe pic. Brown, maybe, but not green. then again, the stuff that’s supposed to look reddish is a bright magenta color.

(for those who plan to give me crap and take my man-card away for being male and knowing what magenta is, my GF has a bra this color, and she calls the color magenta. Otherwise, i’d have no idea what to call that color)

[NormsRevenge]

it runs in the family tree.. bet? ;-)

[Rad_J]

Doctor: I’m sorry, but you are going to need surgery.
Patient: What fir?

[SaraJohnson]

Good One! Too bad it’s true.

[JewishRighter]

There was a book about this:

“A Tree Grows in Russian”

[RJS1950]

I’d hate to see what they found if his ass was hurting.

Not quite so funny for the guy shown on a medical emergency/Discovery Health show a couple of years ago. He fell off of a ladder onto a tree and shoved a tree branch right up the old backdoor. The hospital filmed parts of the removal and it made you cringe just to see the branch in his intestines. They actually used a power saw to cut the branch into pieces for removal.