Tarot Reader Predicts McCain/Palin Victory! (Before Turning Into A Newt)

Reading-tarot.net ^ | October 24, 2008 | Christine Butterford

[OhCassandra]

Just for fun I decided to do a tarot reading to bring some clarity to the madness surrounding the current presidential election. While most polls are currently calling it an easy victory for Barack Obama on November 4th, the McCain campaign has shown signs of a late-stage comeback.

Now, let’s see what the cards say to the question “What will be the outcome of the 2008 Presidential election?”

[OhCassandra]

Well, at least there is one person who still believes that McCain can pull a win on November 4th.

[mnehring]

Is it a full moon tonight?

[Safrguns]

heh... i just flipped a coin... came up with the same result.

I cant believe people give any credibility to this crap.

Polls as unbelievable as they are certainly trump this.

[waus]

I know that we will prevail. Thanks for the confirmation.

As much as the MSM would suggest, there aren’t that many people in the USA who could be mistaken for background extras from “One Flew Over The Cuckooo’s Nest.”

[AmericanMade1776]

OhCassandra Since Oct 25, 2008

New here I see. Are you a witch?

[I'm ALL Right!]

IBTZ!!!

[mnehring]

MONKS: [chanting]

Pie Iesu domine, dona eis requiem.

[bonk]

Pie Iesu domine,...

[bonk]

...dona eis requiem.

[bonk]

Pie Iesu domine,...

[bonk]

...dona eis requiem.

CROWD:

A witch! A witch!

[bonk]

A witch! A witch!

MONKS: [chanting]

Pie Iesu domine...

CROWD:

A witch! A witch! A witch! A witch! We've found a witch! A witch! A witch! A witch! A witch! We've got a witch! A witch! A witch! Burn her! Burn her! Burn her! We've found a witch! We've found a witch! A witch! A witch! A witch!

VILLAGER #1:

We have found a witch. May we burn her?

CROWD:

Burn her! Burn! Burn her! Burn her!

BEDEVERE:

How do you know she is a witch?

VILLAGER #2:

She looks like one.

CROWD:

Right! Yeah! Yeah!

BEDEVERE:

Bring her forward.

WITCH:

I'm not a witch. I'm not a witch.

BEDEVERE:

Uh, but you are dressed as one.

WITCH:

They dressed me up like this.

CROWD:

Augh, we didn't! We didn't...

WITCH:

And this isn't my nose. It's a false one.

BEDEVERE:

Well?

VILLAGER #1:

Well, we did do the nose.

BEDEVERE:

The nose?

VILLAGER #1:

And the hat, but she is a witch!

VILLAGER #2:

Yeah!

CROWD:

We burn her! Right! Yeaaah! Yeaah!

BEDEVERE:

Did you dress her up like this?

VILLAGER #1:

No!

VILLAGER #2 and 3:

No. No.

VILLAGER #2:

No.

VILLAGER #1:

No.

VILLAGERS #2 and #3:

No.

VILLAGER #1:

Yes.

VILLAGER #2:

Yes.

VILLAGER #1:

Yes. Yeah, a bit.

VILLAGER #3:

A bit.

VILLAGERS #1 and #2:

A bit.

VILLAGER #3:

A bit.

VILLAGER #1:

She has got a wart.

RANDOM:

[cough]

BEDEVERE:

What makes you think she is a witch?

VILLAGER #3:

Well, she turned me into a newt.

BEDEVERE:

A newt?

VILLAGER #3:

I got better.

VILLAGER #2:

Burn her anyway!

VILLAGER #1:

Burn!

CROWD:

Burn her! Burn! Burn her!...

BEDEVERE:

Quiet! Quiet! Quiet! Quiet! There are ways of telling whether she is a witch.

VILLAGER #1:

Are there?

VILLAGER #2:

Ah?

VILLAGER #1:

What are they?

CROWD:

Tell us! Tell us!...

BEDEVERE:

Tell me. What do you do with witches?

VILLAGER #2:

Burn!

VILLAGER #1:

Burn!

CROWD:

Burn! Burn them up! Burn!...

BEDEVERE:

And what do you burn apart from witches?

VILLAGER #1:

More witches!

VILLAGER #3:

Shh!

VILLAGER #2:

Wood!

BEDEVERE:

So, why do witches burn?

[pause]

VILLAGER #3:

B--... 'cause they're made of... wood?

BEDEVERE:

Good! Heh heh.

CROWD:

Oh, yeah. Oh.

BEDEVERE:

So, how do we tell whether she is made of wood?

VILLAGER #1:

Build a bridge out of her.

BEDEVERE:

Ah, but can you not also make bridges out of stone?

VILLAGER #1:

Oh, yeah.

RANDOM:

Oh, yeah. True. Uhh...

BEDEVERE:

Does wood sink in water?

VILLAGER #1:

No. No.

VILLAGER #2:

No, it floats! It floats!

VILLAGER #1:

Throw her into the pond!

CROWD:

The pond! Throw her into the pond!

BEDEVERE:

What also floats in water?

VILLAGER #1:

Bread!

VILLAGER #2:

Apples!

VILLAGER #3:

Uh, very small rocks!

VILLAGER #1:

Cider!

VILLAGER #2:

Uh, gra-- gravy!

VILLAGER #1:

Cherries!

VILLAGER #2:

Mud!

VILLAGER #3:

Uh, churches! Churches!

VILLAGER #2:

Lead! Lead!

ARTHUR:

A duck!

CROWD:

Oooh.

BEDEVERE:

Exactly. So, logically...

VILLAGER #1:

If... she... weighs... the same as a duck,... she's made of wood.

BEDEVERE:

And therefore?

VILLAGER #2:

A witch!

VILLAGER #1:

A witch!

CROWD:

A witch! A witch!...

VILLAGER #4:

Here is a duck. Use this duck.

[quack quack quack]

BEDEVERE:

Very good. We shall use my largest scales.

CROWD:

Ohh! Ohh! Burn the witch! Burn the witch! Burn her! Burn her! Burn her! Burn her! Burn her! Burn her! Burn her! Ahh! Ahh...

BEDEVERE:

Right. Remove the supports!

[whop]

[clunk]

[creak]

CROWD:

A witch! A witch! A witch!

WITCH:

It's a fair cop.

VILLAGER #3:

Burn her!

CROWD:

Burn her! Burn her! Burn her! Burn! Burn!...

BEDEVERE:

Who are you who are so wise in the ways of science?

ARTHUR:

I am Arthur, King of the Britons.

BEDEVERE:

My liege!

ARTHUR:

Good Sir Knight, will you come with me to Camelot and join us at the Round Table?

BEDEVERE:

My liege! I would be honored.

ARTHUR:

What is your name?

BEDEVERE:

'Bedevere', my liege.

ARTHUR:

Then I dub you 'Sir Bedevere, Knight of the Round Table'.

[Admin Moderator]

Let’s see if she floats first (thanks for the reminder mnehrling)

[cmj328]

The occult.

It’s crap whether you believe in it or not.

It’s crap whether you like the “prediction” or not.

It’s all crap.

Pay it no mind whatsoever.

Don’t let it distract us.

We have to FIGHT to win.

[Heart of Georgia]

No thanks.

[GoSarah]

Well, I’ll take all the good news I can :)

[mnehring]

Ping

[Grizzled Bear]

This one posted a vanity and vanished into the night.

According to Homer, nobody believed Cassandra.

[Grizzled Bear]

Wanna play?

[4rcane]

this reminds me i heard on radio a few months ago. There was a cockroach race that have predicted previous elections and the cockroach named Mccain won, while the Obama cockroach didn’t even move :p

[Force of Truth]

Oh oh. It must be true then. Btw, if it doesn’t work out the way you think, will you stop consulting the dark side? Just wondering.

[mylife]

What else floats?

[Grizzled Bear]

Whoa! That’s harsh!

;-)

[mylife]

It’s not like I called to “Burn Her” ;)

[mylife]

Where did ya go?