Posted on 01/07/2008 7:43:15 AM PST by SmithL
ALAMO -- Some kids get "rulered," while others are "whupped" or "popped." Sometimes they get "cuffed," "drubbed," "blipped" or "boxed."
The semantics don't matter, said Jordan Riak; it's all a spanking, and, according to the longtime corporal punishment abolitionist, it's unacceptable by any name, anywhere.
"The public is in denial," he said. "You have to invent funny words to keep it from being serious. It's cartoon language: 'Oh, I'm not violent, I just gave him a butt-warming.'"'"
Riak, 72, is a retired teacher who has dedicated about three decades of his life trying to convince people that sparing the rod isn't spoiling the child and using it can cause mental scars for life.
It's a movement that has gained ground, particularly when it comes to corporal punishment in schools. The practice is now outlawed in 39 states, with legislation drafted by Riak leading to California's ban in 1987.
"It has to start in schools," he said. "If (teachers) do it, it represents authority, it represents the government condoning it. Parents say, 'What's wrong with it if the government can do it?' And schools use the excuse, 'What's wrong with it if they do it at home?' One hand washes the other."
Sitting in a small, cluttered backyard office not much bigger than a woodshed, Riak talked about how he got involved in an effort he considers a natural extension of the civil rights and women's liberation movements.
"(Spanking children) is the same as husbands hitting their wives 75 years ago," he said. "They're supposed to honor and obey, and if she serves the coffee cold, well, then she gets a slap to remind her."
Burying the switch
He found his crusade when he moved his family to Sydney, Australia, in the 1970s. His 8-year-old son came home from school one day, terrified at seeing a classmate in tears after being struck across the palms for misbehaving.
"I was amazed that this was going on," he said. "I was raised in New Jersey -- a state that banned corporal punishment (in schools) when Abraham Lincoln was president. Even my mother thought it no longer existed in civilized nations."
Riak went to the school and asked to see the switch that was used. He then refused to return it.
"I told the headmaster, 'This is a weapon. It has no business in schools, and no business being used on children.'"'" Riak said. "Then I called all the media outlets and told them I'm turning myself in to the Paddington Police Station for the theft of government property."
Riak took the publicity stunt and ran with it, often posing for photographers in his yard, burying the headmaster's switch.
"Then I'd dig it up again and rebury it when another photographer came by," he said. "I did it several times and probably still have (the switch) around here somewhere."
He got the reaction he wanted, and that story has been retold several times since. Eventually, efforts he started led to a ban on corporal punishment in Sydney schools.
Discipline, yes; hitting, no
Paula LeDoux, a member of Riak's group Parents and Teachers Against Violence in Education, said that first stunt is a good example of how Riak goes about his advocacy.
"He's very level-headed and uses nonshaming and nonblaming methods," said LeDoux, who is employed by the Vacaville Police Department as a social worker in domestic violence cases. "You have to be like that or people won't hear what you're saying."
That's not to say Riak is against direct action.
"I can't stand injustice," he said. "I can't stand to see someone defenseless getting hurt, and no one doing anything about it."
He said that earlier this month, he was at a supermarket in Alamo when he saw a grandmother shouting at a crying young girl. He approached and handed them both one of his "Kid Safe Zone" stickers with an anti-spanking logo.
"The grandmother said, 'It's just discipline,' and I said, 'Discipline, yes. Hitting, no.'"'"
Nadine Block of Ohio-based nonprofit End Physical Punishment of Children said Riak's efforts have been instrumental in getting legislation passed across the United States.
"He has always made really strong statements, much to his credit," Block said. "A lot of people like to be meek about issues like this."
She said that her group and Riak's have often collaborated, keeping lawmakers informed about what other states are doing and urging them to follow suit.
It's an effort that Riak says keeps him busy seven days a week. He said he often wakes up in the middle of the night to check his e-mail and respond to queries from the 2,000 people on his Web site's mailing list.
At home, Riak's son said his father set an example that he follows with his own children, ages 1 and 4.
"There are rewards for good behavior and a lack of rewards for behavior that isn't good," said Oren Riak, 42. "I could never imagine hitting our kids. If I raise my voice to my daughter, it's shocking to her. I'd never raise my hand -- that's crazy. A grown man raising an open hand to a 40-pound girl is just nuts."
Jordan Riak called spanking a lazy method of parenting: "If (children) are not listening, find a more skilled way to get their attention. If parents are looking for a one-sentence solution, they're going to be disappointed. Parenting is a major commitment, and there should be lessons, like a driver's education course before you can get behind the wheel. It should be as essential."
Negative reaction
That sort of talk strikes a nerve with a lot of people, said Assemblywoman Sally Lieber, who last year introduced legislation to set a clear definition of what type of punishment is unacceptable in the home.
"We found ourselves in the middle of a giant culture war," said Lieber. "When the topic came up, we were probably getting about 95 to 100 percent negative feedback on the idea. It later mellowed to 85 to 90 percent negative."
Lieber said she hopes to revisit the issue at some point.
Riak is currently pushing an initiative to ban corporal punishment in North Carolina schools. He is also warming up for a rematch in Oakland, where in 1999 he pushed for a declaration condemning the use of such punishment in the home.
Like Lieber's statewide legislation, Riak's attempt in Oakland garnered scorn and ridicule, although such laws have been enacted in 24 nations, with seven passing legislation just last year.
Riak acknowledged that people resent being told how they should raise their kids, and he gets his fair share of hate mail.
An excerpt from a December e-mail: "Without properly and thoughtfully applied stern discipline, (not useless timeout peter pan fantasy crap), a child will grow to be a disrespectful and anger filled person. ... Don't even think you'll come into my home and tell me that I'll not spank my child, you may just find yourself getting a season of applied leather education for yourself."
While Riak's camp maintains that most experts in academia and pediatrics agree that corporal punishment is detrimental to healthy childhood development, there have been studies that show it can be safe if not used excessively.
That's something Riak says makes no sense.
"You can't defend it in any logical manner," he said. "Is it OK to give a child an occasional cigarette because just one won't kill them? That's foolish. One smack won't turn a child into a serial killer, but who knows what's been done?
"If your neighbor accidentally sprays water on your new car, you can't go over there and strike his rear to get his attention. If you leave the lights on, your boss can't give you a smack to help you remember. It's assault, and children are the last class of people who are still considered hitable."
NAME: Jordan Riak
AGE: 72
EDUCATION: B.A. in fine arts from the Art Institute of Chicago
OCCUPATION: Former photography teacher, director of Parents and Teachers Against Violence in Education and http://www.nospank.net
RESIDENCE: Alamo
FAMILY: Wife, Ann. Three sons, Justin, Oren and Ethan, three grandchildren
CLAIM TO FAME: Drafted California's 1987 ban on corporal punishment in schools, continues to work to eradicate spanking from schools in all states and in the home.
Jordan Riak
Do they still beat kids in Catholic schools?
I go to Alamo often (in-laws live in the area.) If my kids are acting up, the disciplinary measures are taken in private...
But this moonbat is just another example of the Nanny State mentality. How dare he or anyone else tell me how to raise my kids??
“terrified at seeing a classmate in tears after being struck across the palms for misbehaving.”
Someone is just a little too sensitive here, don’t you think?
I have spanked each of my children once. I don’t use spanking as primary discipline. In fact really, not at all. But NO ONE will tell me that I cannot. No way, no how.
Where is the BARF ALERT????????
Logic??? God is logical..but this guy rejects the words of God, Himself, in the Bible, that if you spare the rod, you will spoil the child...
Although there is no actual scripture with the words in this order, the direction is taken from these verses..
He that spareth the rod, hateth his son, but he who loved him, chasteneth him betim es Proverbs 13:24
Chasten thy son while there is yet hope, and let not thy soulo spare for his crying Proverbs 19:18
Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child, bu tthe rod of correction shall drive it far from him Proverbs 22:15
Withhold not correction from the child, for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod and deliver his soul from hell Proverbs 23:13, 14
The rod and reproof give wisdom, but the child lefty to himself bringeth his mother to shame...Correct thy son, and he shall givee thee rest, yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul Proverbs 29:15, 17
And we have God the Father Himself as our example..
Thou shalt consider in thine heart, that, as a man chasteneth his son, so the Lord thy God chasteneth thee Deuteronomy 8:5
I will be his father, and he shall by my son. If he commit iniquity, I will chasten him with the rod of men and with stripes of the children of men 2 Samuel 7:14
He that chastised the heathen, shall not He correct? He that teacheth man knowledge, shall he not know? The Lord knoweth the thoughts of man, that they are vanity. Blessed is the man whom thou chastenest, O Lord, and teachest him out of thy law Psalms 94:10-12
But when we are judged, we are chastened of the Lord that we should not be condemned with the world 1 Corinthians 11:32
And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of Him, For whom the Lord loveth He chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom He receiveth. If you endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons, for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not? But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards and not sons. Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: Shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits and live? Hebrews 12:5-9
As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten, be zealous therefore and repent Revelation 3:19
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