Posted on 04/17/2007 5:25:53 PM PDT by wymck
WHAT IF BARACK WERE GONE? by Jesse McKay
(Parody of "What If Your Girlfriend Were Gone," by Carla Ulrich, 1996)
I was just wondering... hypothetically... What would you do?... theoretically... If something should happen... politically or medically... What if Barack were gone?
If the Secret Service got a little bit lax If the limo got stuck out on the train tracks He's the favorite choice of ten million blacks What if Barack were gone?
Would you want a recount? Would you want a new choice? Would you draft Al Sharpton to be your new voice? Would you call a Million Man March up in Detroit? What if Barack were gone?
If Barack disappeared without a trace And everyone looked all over the place Could you chalk it up to something besides race? Hey, someone's gotta say it.
If that charismatic, articulate man Who happens to have a permanent tan Got caught with a girl scout in the back of a van What do you think you would do?
Would you blame Don Imus or that guy who played Kramer? Would you get Jesse Jackson on a big retainer? Tell Tiger Woods that he couldn't do better? Tell Tom Vilsack to start filing letters?
Barack, as you know, isn't homely or fat, Or balding, or graying, or anything like that, He's got a physique, and not a bad one, But what if suddenly he didn't have one?
If something happened... hypothetically... What would you do?... theoretically... If something should happen... politically or medically... What if Barack were gone?
Would you call Hillary? Would you use discretion? Would you wear a wire and tape a confession Like, oh, yeah, you'd ever get one of those 'Cause she wouldn't know any-thing a-bout it. Hee, hee, hee.
Would you admit there's a good selection Six other dwarfs out there for your inspection There's Christopher Dodd and Joe Biden 'Vote For Me and Osama can come out of hiding.'
If he gave a big speech And he hollered out a screech Or he fell off a stand And he landed on his can If he had a secret sweetie Who decided she was needy What if Barack were gone?
We would still have Hillary!!!......
If Barack were gone, Mrs. Bill’s chances of election would decline. He is a candidate because the Clintons want him as a candidate so that Mrs. C doesn’t have to take all the heat. His balloon will be popped when it is time.
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