Posted on 01/15/2007 7:42:48 AM PST by DogByte6RER
Thai zookeepers are hoping a low-carb diet will get an overweight panda in the mood to mate.
Chuang Chuang, a 330- pound panda, is too heavy to have sex with 253- pound Lin Hui, caretakers said. So they created a special diet for Chuang Chuang - replacing loaves of bread with low-fat bamboo branches.
Zookeepers had planned to show the pair "panda porn" - instructional videos on mating techniques - but dropped that idea after research proved that not all pandas respond to the images.
(Excerpt) Read more at nypost.com ...
White and black, the friendly bears of China
White and black, they rarely reproduce
What shall be done about these Chinese bears?
What shall be done about these friendly bears?
Die, they must die
The pandas must die
Die, they must die
The pandas must die
Yay!
Why should we save them?
What good do they do?
Have you ever seen a panda
Do something good for you?
They can't wear t-shirts,
They can't bounce basketballs
They can't walk tightropes
Over Niagra Falls
Die, they must die
The pandas must die
Die, they must die
The pandas must die
You fat bastard!
All endangered species
Leave endangered feces
If you knew how bad they smelled
You would gladly take their pelt
If we kill them all
We can have more parking lots
We can have small couches
Made of little ocelots
Die, they must die
The pandas must die
Die, they must die
The pandas must die
Sound clip from "Pandas" song (.wav format)
http://kimberlychapman.com/corky/clpanda.wav
Did anybody point out to them that pandas in the wild eat bamboo, not bread?
Why on earth are the feeding panda loaves of bread? I thought zoos were paranoid about keeping their animals diest *natural*.
"Pandas Must Die" video:
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/206805
Maybe its a Panda version of "Soylent Green"...
I saw them at the National Zoo awhile back. Slow and dirty animals...I didn't understand what made them so special.
Yeah, *special diet*- what they eat in the wild. Now they're the heros for helping the pandas for figuring this out because they *created* a special diet that would help them lose weight.
bangs head on desk
ping
I saw them at the National Zoo awhile back. Slow and dirty animals...I didn't understand what made them so special.
That remark makes me a SAAAAD panda...
"Panda porn."
I must have missed that episode of Jerry Springer. He has had larger mammals on his show discussing their mating habits.
So they're telling us millions of years ago the panda not only learned how to make fire, but also learned to grow, harvest, grind, and mix wheat into a dough and placed it in their clay ovens to bake until it forms a nice golden crust?
It's been tried before...
'Panda "Porn" to Boost Mating Efforts at Thai Zoo'
http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2006/11/061113-panda-mate.html
I'm the Only Gay Eskimo is a piece of sheer brilliance.
Yeah...I know what you're saying.
Ahytime I come across a news story or something else about pandas, that little ditty by Corky and the Juice Pigs always gets stuck in my head...
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