Posted on 10/27/2006 6:17:01 PM PDT by PJ-Comix
The two biggest advances in cellphone gimmicks over the past 5 years have been camera phones and wireless Bluetooth earpieces. Yeah, I know there is also the MP3 players built into the cellphones but they don't seem to have much of an impact.
When the camera phone first came out I admit I thought it was a dopey idea. I was wrong. It is a great idea. I mean it is easy for you to forget to carry your camera around but by building it into the cellphone, it is almost always with you.
The next big gimmick was the wireless Bluetooth earpieces. Up until about the end of last year, few cell phones had the bluetooth technology. The Motorola razor was the first widely popular cellphone to incorporate Bluetooth. Now many other cellphones have followed the Razor's lead to the point where most of the new cellphones coming out next year will be Bluetooth enabled. It is astounding to see how many people have already embraced the Bluetooth. Everywhere I go I see folks with the ubiquitous Bluetooth earpiece. Also the TV show, 24, has made Bluetooth very popular. It is impossible to think how Jack Bauer could get by without his ever present Bluetooth dangling on his ear.
So what is the next BIG thing for cellphones? My guess is that it will be a Bluetooth screen that you wear like a pair of sunglasses that can hook you up to the internet. I've already heard about the first prototypes of this. With the Bluetooth screen, you can set the amount of shading from completely transparent to complete opaque. Outdoors you would want it in between to act like sunglasses with the added benefit of being able to see the internet in front of you. Special devices would be attached to your fingers so you could surf the web with a virtual mouse or type on a virtual keyboard. The downside to this is that you would look awful strange walking down the street with your hands in front of you clicking away at what appears to be nothing. Many people will probably be shocked by such sights at first but get used to this as time goes on.
If you could take a time machine about 5 years into the future, you would see people looking like they are nuts because of their bizarre hand movements while acting like they are in a trance because they are paying no attention to the world around them but focused on the internet that only they can see on their Bluetooth sunglass screens.
Rotary dial cell phones.
I think the next big thing in cell phones will be phones equipped with a new Rove-band com channel we can use to coordinate campaigns to round up DUmmies and put them in Wal*mart detention centers.
My folks were very SLOW to adapt to technology. They kept their rotary phone way after it was obsolete. One day I was visiting them and SLOOOOWLY started dialing a number. Finally I just got so frustrated in the middle of this that I yelled and smashed the damn phone on the floor and brought my folks up to date with a touch tone phone.
Next big thing? Cell phones shaped like huge vibrators that ALSO have electronic toothbrush attachments!!! Oh... wait... is that gross? Hm... maybe I shouldn't drink and freep....
I actually know of people who don't yet have bluetooth phones but have bought Bluetooth dummie earpieces to wear as a fashion accessory. IOW, those earpieces have NO electronics in them. Strictly plastic and used as a fashion accessory only.
Geez, just what I want. Somebody browsing the internet while they're supposed to be driving. It's bad enough that they're allowed to talk on the phone and lose all sense of what's going on around them while they're driving.
I always laugh watching movies made in the 90s where the characters are using big brick cellphones. There was one scene in Lethal Weapon 4 where several of the characters pulled out their gigantic brick phones at the same time.
Well, then they would disconnect from the web while driving. However it would be great, for example, for guys waiting for their wives at the shopping malls to do the shopping. Then they wouldn't be bored. Also it would make walking exercises less boring.
Sometimes advances in technology are never really advances. They can come up with all sorts of new video games but NOTHING will ever beat PacMan. BTW, you can buy the PacMan video game cheap at Best Buy. Or at least it was available last year.
I think Scott Adams thought of this first; he had a strip where Dilbert was walking around with his head thrown back, fingers twitching in the air in front of him. He comes across a man doing the same thing and says "Ah, I see you are an engineer!" The other guy goes "No, I'm retarded. Common mistake."
Or something like that.
The next big gimmick will be in billing.
Right now, if you were use your cell phone to call me, you have to pay -- but with this new gimmick, I would pay as well, even though you are the one placing the call. So we would both end up paying for a call with this new billing gimmick.
And right now, if I were to call you, I have to pay -- but with this new gimmick, you pay as well. And we would both end up paying for the call with this new billing gimmick.
Oh wait, never mind. That's already been done.
How 'bout a cell phone that does nothing but make phone calls?
The Bluetooth has become such a fashion accessory that there is even a limited edition gold finish Dolce Gabbana version of the Motorola H700 with the letters "DG" printed on it. It works exactly like the standard version but has the god finish and lettering. I won't be surprised to see limited edition diamond encrusted Bluetooths in the near future.
I did try the bowling game from the games menu of my cellphone. DUmbest electronic game ever!
I'm thinking an earpiece that is the size of a pin head and a mircophone implanted in a tooth. The keypad will be in a wristwatch.
I'm thinking an earpiece that is the size of a pin head and a mircophone implanted in a tooth. The keypad will be in a wristwatch.
Swiss company GoldVish has produced and sold a diamond studded cell phone for 1.2 million.
For that price, I guess you would not mind that billing gimmick...
Just give me a strong signal and a clear connection. I just want to make a damn phone call.
I like all the geegaws. Don't you want to communicate like Jack Bauer?
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