How do you decide whom to marry?

Car Talk ^ | 05/18/1999 | David Weeks

[Tennessean4Bush]

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHOM TO MARRY?

1) You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
-- Alan, age 10

2) No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.
-- Kirsten, age 10

WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?

1) Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
-- Camille, age 10

2) No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married.
-- Freddie, age 6 (very wise for his age)

HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?

1) You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
-- Derrick, age 8

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?

1) Both don't want any more kids.
-- Lori, age 8

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?

1) Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
-- Lynnette, age 8 (isn't she a treasure)

2) On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
-- Martin, age 10 (wise beyond his years)

WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?

1) I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
- Craig, age 9

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?

1) When they're rich.
-- Pam, age 7

2) The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that.
-- Curt, age 7

3) The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.
-- Howard, age 8 (this one has very good morals)

IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?

1) It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
-- Mike Schaffer, age 4 (bless you child)

HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?

1) There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
--Kelvin, age 8

And the winner is........

HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?

1) Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck.
-- Ricky, age 10

[Tennessean4Bush]

Apologies if you have seen this before, but I was just forwarded this by a friend in an email. After a little research it appears to be at least 6 years old, but it is new to me. Enjoy!

[Tennessean4Bush]

bttt mice elf

[motormouth]

Very Cute!!! LOL

MM

[MineralMan]

"Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck."

Very wise young lad. I learned the hard way:

Wifey: Does this dress make my butt look big?
Hubby: It's not the dress, dear.

[nuconvert]

I have seen them before, but they still made me laugh. :~ D

[Tennessean4Bush]

All men learn this one the hard way, I believe.

[Tennessean4Bush]

I just read this in an email, but decided to do a little research to find the original. It turns out that, of course, I am at least 6 years behind the times.

[Tennessean4Bush]

Thanks, I think so too.

[billybudd]

you get to find out later who you're stuck with.

Wonderful worldview.

[Allegra]

Over here...not so much the post, but perhaps some of the resulting comments...

(She said as she was just headed off to bed, but wanted to maybe stir the pot a tad before retiring...)

[MotleyGirl70]

I've never seen this before. Great humor post :)

2) No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with. -- Kirsten, age 10

HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED? 1) There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there? --Kelvin, age 8 And the winner is........

HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK? 1) Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck. -- Ricky, age 10

[jocon307]

"HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?

You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids."

LOL! Thanks for posting this, I love these "kids say the darndest things" things. They never get old!

[MotleyGirl70]

1) Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck. -- Ricky, age 10

Or else...

[Toby06]

2) No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married.

-- Freddie, age 6 (very wise for his age)

SMART KID!

[nuconvert]

I've done that several times.
Here's a funny old one if you haven't seen it. (funny even if you have) :~ )


The following letters are taken from an actual incident between a London hotel and one of its guests last year. The hotel ended up submitting the
letters to the Sunday Times.

Dear Maid,

Please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap in my bathroom
since I have brought my own bath-sized Imperial Leather.

Please remove the six unopened little bars from the shelf under the medicine
chest and another three in the shower soap dish. They are in my way.

Thank you,
S. Berman

---

Dear Room 635,

I am not your regular maid. She will be back tomorrow, Thursday, from her
day off. I took the 3 hotel soaps out of the shower soap dish as you requested.

The 6 bars on your shelf I took out of your way and put on top of your Kleenex dispenser in case you should change your mind.
This leaves only the 3 bars I left today which my instructions from the management are to leave 3 soaps daily.

I hope this is satisfactory.
Kathy,
Relief Maid

---

Dear Maid
I hope you are my regular maid.

Apparently Kathy did not tell you about my note to her concerning the little
bars of soap. When I got back to my room this evening, I found you had added 3 little Camays to the shelf under my medicine cabinet.

I am going to be here in the hotel for two weeks and have brought my own
bath-size Imperial Leather, so I won't need those 6 little Camays, which are
on the shelf. They are in the way when shaving, brushing teeth etc.

Please remove them.

S. Berman

---

Dear Mr Berman,

The assistant manager, Mr Kensedder, informed me this morning that you
called him last evening and said you were unhappy with your maid service.

I have assigned a new girl to your room. I hope you will accept my apologies for any past inconvenience.

If you have any future complaints, please contact me so I can give it my
personal attention. Call extension 1108 between 8AM and 5PM.

Thank you.

Elaine Carmen
Housekeeper

---

Dear Miss Carmen,

It is impossible to contact you by phone since I leave the hotel for business at 7:45 AM and don't get back before 5:30 or 6.00 PM.
That's the reason I called Mr Kensedder last night. You were already off duty. I only asked Mr Kensedder if he could do anything about those little bars of soap.

The new maid you assigned me must have thought I was a new check in
today, since she left another 3 bars of hotel soap in my medicine cabinet,
along with her regular delivery of 3 bars on the bathroom shelf.

In just 5 days here I have accumulated 24 little bars of soap. Why are you
doing this to me?

S. Berman

---

Dear Mr Berman,

Your maid, Kathy, has been instructed to stop delivering soap to your room
and to remove the extra soaps.

If I can be of further assistance, please call extension 1108 between 8 AM
and 5 PM.

Thank you,
Elaine Carmen,
Housekeeper

---

Dear Mr Kensedder,

My bath-size Imperial Leather is missing.

Every bar of soap was taken from my room, including my own bath-size
Imperial Leather.

I came in late last night and had to call the bellhop to bring me 4 little
Cashmere Bouquets.

S. Berman

---

Dear Mr Berman,

I have informed our housekeeper, Elaine Carmen, of your soap problem.

I cannot understand why there was no soap in your room since our maids are
instructed to leave 3 bars of soap each time they service a room.

The situation will be rectified immediately.

Please accept my apologies for the inconvenience.

Martin L. Kensedder
Assistant Manager

---

Dear Mrs Carmen,

Who the hell left 54 little bars of Camay in my room?

I came in last night and found 54 little bars of soap. I don't want 54 little bars of Camay. I want my one damn bar of bath-size Imperial Leather.

Do you realise I have 54 bars of soap in here?

All I want is my bath-size Imperial Leather.

Please give me back my bath-size Imperial Leather.

S. Berman

---

Dear Mr Berman,

You complained of too much soap in your room, so I had them removed.

Then you complained to Mr Kensedder that all your soap was missing, so I
personally returned them. The 24 Camays, which had been taken, and the 3
Camays you are supposed to receive daily.

I don't know anything about the 4 Cashmere Bouquets.

Obviously your maid, Kathy, did not know I had returned your soaps, so she
also brought 24 Camays plus the 3 daily Camays.

I don't know where you got the idea this hotel issues bath-size Imperial
Leather.

I was able to locate some bath-size Ivory, which I left in your room.

Elaine Carmen
Housekeeper

---

Dear Mrs Carmen,

Just a short note to bring you up-to-date on my latest soap inventory.

As of today I possess:
* On the shelf under the medicine cabinet - 18 Camay in 4 stacks of 4 and
1 stack of 2.
* On the Kleenex dispenser - 11 Camay in 2 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 3.
* On the bedroom dresser - 1 stack of 3 Cashmere Bouquet, 1 stack of 4

hotel-size Ivory, and 8 Camay in 2 stacks of 4.
* Inside the medicine cabinet - 14 Camay in 3 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 2.
* In the shower soap dish - 6 Camay, very moist.
* On the northeast corner of the tub - 1 Cashmere Bouquet, slightly used.
* On the northwest corner of the tub - 6 Camays in 2 stacks of 3.

Please ask Kathy when she services my room to make sure the stacks are
neatly piled and dusted. Also, please advise her that stacks of more than 4 have a tendency to tip.

May I suggest that my bedroom windowsill is not in use and will make an
excellent spot for future soap deliveries.

One more item, I have purchased another bar of bath-size Imperial Leather,
which I am keeping in the hotel vault in order to avoid further misunderstandings.

S. Berman

[Tennessean4Bush]

Wonderful worldview.

When I try to be funny, I never have as good a delivery as these kids.

[Tennessean4Bush]

ROTFLMAO!

[Joe 6-pack]

First and foremost, the most important quality of any prospective wife, is that she must get along well with my girlfriend.

[Tennessean4Bush]

Been there. Done that. LOL!

[tet68]

HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?

1) You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
-- Derrick, age 8