The Situation Room: Hour Nine (Hilarious Stuff)

WazzaDem ^ | 12/6/05 | John

[areafiftyone]

The Situation Room: Hour Nine

I'm Wolf Blitzer. To our viewers, you are in The Situation Room, where new pictures and information are arriving all the time. Standing by, CNN reporters across the United States and around the world to bring you the day's top stories happening now.

 

 

 

 

In our ninth hour today: the war of words over the war in Iraq. The words of our next guest sparked a debate on the floor of Congress and in the media. Joining us now is Representative John Murtha.

 

 

 

 

Congressman Murtha, welcome to The Situation Room.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Uh, Bob, can we fix this?

 

 

 

 

Congressman Murtha, welcome to The Situation Room.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bob!

 

 

 

 

Congressman Murtha, welcome to The Situation Room.

 

 

 

 

Congressman Murtha, welcome to Hardball.

 

 

 

 

Chris?

 

 

 

 

Wolf? Where's Congressman Murtha?

 

 

 

 

That's what I was wondering. Must be a mix-up with the satellite.

 

 

 

 

Right, right...satellite. So, new show, huh? What's with all the TVs?

 

 

 

 

Oh, well, we've got, you know, new pictures and information arriving all the time, and uh, CNN reporters across the United States and around the world to bring people the day's top stories happening now.

 

 

 

 

You know what it reminds me of? The Bat cave.

 

 

 

 

What?

 

 

 

 

From the old Batman show? Batman would just push a button, and Commissioner Gordon's face would pop up on a screen...

 

 

 

 

Yeah, listen...

 

 

 

 

Maybe Alfred the butler...

 

 

 

 

Uh-huh.

 

 

 

 

I always wondered why they had all the animal-themed criminals.

 

 

 

 

I never really gave it much thought.

 

 

 

 

Let' see, there was The Penguin, Catwoman...

 

 

 

 

Chris...

 

 

 

 

Come to think of it, Batman and Robin were animal-themed, weren't they? I should do a show on this.

 

 

 

 

Chris...

 

 

 

 

This is probably enough material for two shows. I wonder if Michael Isikoff is into Batman. I know Howard Fineman is.

 

 

 

 

Chris!

 

 

 

 

Yeah?

 

 

 

 

I'd love to chat with you, but I'm in the middle of a show.

 

 

 

 

Right, right...show. Me too. Hey, thanks for being on the show, I've really learned a lot from you.

 

 

 

 

All right, I'm told we have the satellite feed now. Congressman Murtha, welcome to The Situation Room.

 

 

 

 

Thanks for having me, Chris.

 

 

 

 

It's Wolf.

 

 

 

 

Sorry.

 

 

 

 

Congressman, you've...Excuse me one second, please.

 

 

 

 

You're in The Situation Room.

 

 

 

 

Congressman, you've made some very controversial statements recently. You said that the Army is "broken, worn out" and "living hand to mouth," and those statements have been contradicted not only by members of the administration, but by military commanders and service men and women on the ground in Iraq.

 

 

 

 

Wolf, I did say those things, but there is one very important detail to this story that is not being reported, and that is that I was doing...

 

 

 

 

This.

 

 

 

 

I'm sorry, I don't understand what it is you're doing.

 

 

 

 

"Quote marks."

 

 

 

 

Quote marks?

 

 

 

 

"Quote marks."

 

 

 

 

I'm not following you.

 

 

 

 

Well, if I say the army is...

 

 

 

 

"Broken down,"

 

 

 

 

That doesn't sound so bad, does it?

 

 

 

 

So, are you saying you didn't really mean those things, that you were being sarcastic?

 

 

 

 

Chris...

 

 

 

 

Wolf.

 

 

 

 

Wolf, I'm just saying that, when people say certain things, they might not always be...

 

 

 

 

"Sincere."

 

 

 

 

I still don't understand.

 

 

 

 

Listen, Wolf, the way kids talk these days, they might say something is...

 

 

 

 

"hot"

 

 

 

 

but what they really mean is that it's

 

 

 

 

"cool."

 

 

 

 

You follow me?

 

 

 

 

I don't, but I'm afraid we're out of time for this segment. Perhaps we can have you back some other time. Congressman John Murtha, thanks for being with us in The Situation Room.

 

 

 

 

Thanks for having me, Wolf, it's been...

 

 

 

 

"great."

 

 

 

 

You're in The Situation Room. We'll start our tenth hour after this short break. Stay with us.

 

 

 

 

You're in The Situation Room.

 

 

 

 

Once again - you're in The Situation Room.

 

 

 

 

You're in The Situation Room.

 

Thanks to tee bee for the "quote marks" idea.

 

[areafiftyone]

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[demkicker]

You're right, this is another side splitter. Thanks!

[Rummyfan]

Blitzer, Matthews, and Murtha.......

Dumb and Dumber and Dumberer!

[sarasota]

Very clevel, very funny!

[ken5050]

He's Baaaaaaaacccccccckkkk

[ken5050]

I have just constructed a new definition of hell...having to watch this on a dial up modem....

[FourtySeven]

Whew, these are so funny, I'm crying! I just voted, WazzaDem is in the lead with 279 votes!

[apackof2]

LOL

[areafiftyone]

YIKES! -

[Ernest_at_the_Beach]

ROFL!