Posted on 11/26/2005 1:01:38 PM PST by Sonny M
DEAR ABBY: A few years ago, my father died at the age of 58. My mother has not taken it well. Although she went through grief counseling, she did not benefit from it. Abby, she acts as if my father is still alive, that he has gone on a trip and will return at any time. She is also becoming increasingly unstable. If told the truth about Dad's death, she throws a fit.
Lately, my mother has become more violent, leaving bruises on her victims. I love Mother very much, but not only has she injured me, she has attacked her grandchildren as well. My husband says we should just leave her in the house to die. We do not have the money to put her in a home, and if we did, she'd refuse to leave the home Dad built.
What can I do about my out-of-control mother? -- WORRIED SICK IN TEXAS
DEAR WORRIED SICK: From your description of her behavior, your mother may be mentally ill. Tell her again that your father is dead. If she assaults you again, call the police. Tell them this isn't the first time it has happened and that she has also assaulted the children. If someone is a danger to himself or others, then that person can be hospitalized for a short period of observation by mental health professionals. And that could be what saves your mother, who appears to be in serious need of professional help.
DEAR ABBY: I am a 53-year-old child (some child!). My mother was always verbally and emotionally abusive. Although my parents lived only seven miles away, I didn't visit very often because she would browbeat me.
Dad passed away two months ago. My mother doesn't drive. I can see that Mother is counting on me to take her everywhere on my days off, which are always in the middle of the week. I do shift work and have a husband and a household to run. I also need a little time to myself.
Am I being selfish to expect my mother to find alternative transportation? She is very involved in civic affairs and claims she has many friends who would help her, but I see no one coming forward. Please don't suggest other relatives. Mother has burned too many bridges, and no one wants the job.
I am getting angry and also feeling guilty, but I do not want to be at her beck and call because her cruelty toward me is continuing. -- MISERABLE IN MINNESOTA
DEAR MISERABLE: You do not have to tolerate verbal abuse. Start checking around your community to see if there are any low-cost transportation services for seniors sponsored by the city or senior centers. If no services are available, your mother may have to relocate in order to avail herself of public transportation.
DEAR ABBY: I work in an office where one co-worker constantly whistles. It's extremely distracting to all of us in the office while we're working, but we don't know how to approach this individual and say, "Can you please stop whistling while you work?" Please help us stop this daily annoyance. We need relief. -- FRUSTRATED OFFICE GIRLS, CLARKS SUMMIT, PA.
DEAR OFFICE GIRLS: Because you can't bring yourselves to approach the offender directly, try this: The next time the offender starts whistling, offer the person a plate of crackers.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
ping.
So, the theme here is "Mother is evil"??
What a bunch of whiners.
My sister's mother-in-law, who is fine, no (medically documented!) mental instability, used to celebrate her dead husband's birthday.
My brother-in-law asked if he had to bring a gift.
And how is this humor?
I thought the whistling thing was funny.
Maybe so. Listening to someone else whistle is pretty excruciating. My whistling, by comparison, is always mellifluous and lilting; I have no idea why everyone leaves the room when I whistle...
Meanwhile, the bereaved mother (who is clearly suffering from mental illness) is no laughing matter. Suggest you trim out sad items like that in a humor post, lest someone think you're making fun of that situation.
Good point.
Because she answers more then one writer, if I find one thing funny, I add humor ro the topics.
However, If something is serious and something else is funny, I'll lean towards dropping humor as a topic in the post.
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