This scent has a certain Je ne sais quois
Posted on 10/18/2005 7:33:09 AM PDT by NewHampshireDuo
Today, I smell like wild rain.
It’s not because of all the wet weather we’ve had lately. It’s my deodorant, Wild Rain, one of several scent options available by Gillette. I’m afraid if I start perspiring too much, wild rain could turn into acid rain.
Have you looked at the antiperspirant section of your supermarket lately?
Even your father’s favorite brand, Old Spice, is getting into the foofy-smell-for-men act. Back in the day, our dads smelled like their jobs: factory guy, bakery man and so on. Today’s septic worker can carry the Old Spice aroma of Glacial Falls while pumping your tank.
“Gee, Bruce, I’d swear you smell like an Alaskan iceberg this morning,” a co-worker might say.
“Thanks for noticing,” Bruce will reply with pride. “I’m wearing Glacial Falls by Old Spice.” When Bruce gets bored with that scent, he can slap some Mountain Rush under his arms and smell like a wealthy skier from Lake Tahoe.
At the other theme extreme is a brand for younger men called Tag, a body spray for men. Tag’s slogan reads “Uniquely designed to attract the ladies.” Clearly, this is not your father’s deodorant. Tag’s scents include First Move, Lucky Day and After Hours. I wonder if Tag comes with a money-back guarantee for the poor slob who can’t get jiggy after plastering his pores with Lucky Day.
Right Guard Power Stripe goes straight for the man whose testosterone is about to run amok. Overdrive, Accelerate and Adrenaline are your choices. Sounds like this stuff should be banned by Major League Baseball. I can hear it now. Rafael Palmeiro breaks down while Congress browbeats him for a confession. “Yes! Yes, Senator Kennedy! I stole second base after using Accelerate,” he’ll sob uncontrollably.
I kind of wonder if the Weather Channel is behind the Gillette series of underarm deodorants. “Now let’s go to Jim Cantore in New Orleans, who today is wearing Storm Force by Gillette.”
Do we really need all these emasculating smells for men? If women knew we were slathering Arctic Peak on our hard bodies after a morning shower, we’d be laughed out the front door. I doubt John Wayne was ever caught wearing Cool Fusion or Avalanche as he patrolled the wide west. Of course, John spent more time with his horse than women. That’s a column for another day.
Even Tom’s of Maine has jumped on the bandwagon, with aromas such as Woodspice and Lemongrass. Huh? Lemongrass? Shouldn’t Tom’s be thinking more along the lines of Lobster Bisque or Moxie Musk? What Maine man would be caught wearing Lemongrass? Or is that a chick scent?
Incidentally, I happened to notice the deodorant section is made up of about 75 percent male products. The gals get Lady Speed Stick with Satin Pear and Passion Flower. Because women are in touch with their emotions, Secret sells Ambition and Optimism.
Maybe I won’t wear any deodorant tomorrow. The only one who won’t care will be John Wayne’s horse.
Hear Mike Morin weekdays from 5-10 a.m. on “New Hampshire in the Morning” on 95.7 WZID. Contact him at Heymikey@aol.com.
This scent has a certain Je ne sais quois
Who smells like day old carp?
How emasculating it must be for a woman to think you smell nice. Being attractive to the opposite sex is so gay.
I actually use the original scent Old Spice "stinky stuff," and I like it, as does a certain lady... But it's been getting harder and harder to find. I can get the new "sport" or "mountain" or "glacier" scent Old Spice anywhere, but only one place still seems to carry the original scent anymore.
Granted, I'm not sure that this is breaking news, unless I've run out...
Mark
Being human and somewhat vain (and heterosexual) I am influenced in these decisions by women's reactions. i don't wear cologne but I changed shampoo this week and my wife mentioned she liked the way I smelled so I took notice of that.
Now, the best reaction from men is no reason at all. I don't want to offend anyone in the office , male or female, by smelling bad but I really prefer men not notice how I smell at all - and if they do notice I certainly don't want them telling how good I smell.
A "we'd rather you smell goofy than smell stinky" ping.
Find a babe that likes this scent and you have it made.
A very well kept secret is being exposed by me, women love vanilla exact smell... a little dab will do you.
Old Spice is bragging its the #1 choice of rednecks (er nascar fans) everywhere... now for me, I don't think that's neccessarrily a great selling point... but they are spending millions to let me know anyway.
Little dab will do ya is for Brylcreem hair goop. She'll love to run her fingers through your hair
I don't remember the jingle for vanilla extract.....
Hopefully, they will come out with "Submarine Man."
It will give you the smell of a sailor just back from a smooth MAD run or a gnarly fast boat mission.
Nothing like the smell of ozone, scrubbers, bilges, diesel fumes, and recycled air to get the missus going ape when you walk through the door!
I distinctly remember the special odor that permiated his clothes after a return from sea. I must say, I do NOT miss it. :)
Vanilla extract is what the pioneer women used for perfume.
And they laughed at Kramer for "The Beach".
If I drank enough vanilla extract, I could probably go for a frontier woman.
You must be THE Man come Christmas cookie baking time...
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