Posted on 09/03/2005 5:38:11 AM PDT by doctorhugo
In the interest of clearing the air of confusion, when it comes to using political affiliations as a reference, please take note of the following information.
DEMOCRATIC> You have two cows, but your neighbor has none. You feel guilty about being successful. You wish you had a third cow, because you would give that one to your down and out neighbor. Upon reflection, you decide to sell out and move to a more upscale neighborhood where you won't have the unsuccessful working class for neighbors to erode your property values! You put on a "Babs" Streisand album and relax and fall asleep..., dreaming of munis, REITs, stock splits, insider dope on that new IPO, ......
REPUBLICAN> You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So what!
CONSERVATIVE> You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You tell your neighbor...”Touch my cows and your dead”
LIBERTARIAN> You have two cows. And I'll damned well do what I want with them.
INDEPENDENT> I have two cows? How come? I'd like to do something with them, but I'm not well- organized and have no support system. Would you like to join me in this endeavor?
SOCIALIST> You have two cows. The government confiscates one and gives it to your neighbor. You form a farm co-op to tell him how to manage his cow.
SOCIALIST LABOR> You have NO damn cows. You invite the SOCIALIST over to a meeting, which goes well. You unionize the friggin' co-op and demand decent wages for all, but there are no private owners to negotiate your demands with so you picket government headquarters and are arrested. You demand a trial or fair hearing, but the Minister of Agriculture orders you shot.
COMMUNIST> You have two cows. The government seizes both cows and gives you milk ration coupons. You stand in long, interminably unending lines to get the milk. By the time you get your's, it has soured for lack of refrigeration, because the government's maintained refrigerant motors have burnt up and they have no money to replace them OR the belts that snapped and caused the motors to burn out. You are clueless and SOL my friend!
AMERIKAN COMMUNIST> You have two cows, but NO proof of ownership, No milking machine, NO experience of any kind with cows, but envy those that do. You are approached by a castout of the Socialist Labor party and find you have something in common. You are both victims. Uncertain as to whether you are victims of the system or the state, you find solace in joining the ACLU, the Amerikan Communist League United, and quickly realize that you have finally made it in Amerika. If you want something or disagree with somebody...you just sue them. For this the government grants you tax-exempt status and quick access to the courts of the land to seek redress..., injustice for all and liberty for some?? It's a great life if you don't weaken.
THE END!
bump
'AMERIKAN COMMUNIST> '
sounds like some of the idiocy been expounded by some of our Black 'leaders' or Dennis K. this morning!
KAYNE WEST> You have two cows, but you're still convinced that George Bush doesn't care about black people.
LOL. Being convinced that "care" is something to be concerned about. Mayor Nagin probably cares about black people but his "care" is responsible for their misery and death. Better he didn't give a crap and get the busses running. What is this care nonsense?
John Kerry> You have two cows, neither of which served in Vietnam, and you keep reminding them of that fact.
Oh, that is good...
Here's another:
BILL CLINTON> You have two cows, one of them is named Hillary.
Can I assume that the other is named Mo(o)nica?
"idiocy" ?? Do your homework. If you don't think that the ACLU and other leftie groups have a Commie agenda about using the freedom of our system to destroy us from within, your being quite naive.
Please to translate>>>> as I don't get that response at all??
Where did I even suggest any reference to Bush or black people???
Just to follow-up on my earlier response.
I had some time to check into who Kayne or Kanye or whatever West is. I should have suspected that it was a generational gap thing . He's simply another current pop icon a__hole who this generation has chosen to elevate to some level of highly questionable "star" status. How or why you would inject this miscreant into any serious conversation is beyond me.
My original post was intentional sarcastic humor based on truth. Criticize that intelligently and I'll respond to it.
Chill dude. I think you missed the humor and intent in the original response. The OP was adding a "Kayne West" version to your list. West claimed recently in the Katrina crisis that Bush doesn't care about black people. Thus, the funny "Kayne West" version for the 2 cows joke simply updated the joke to make it more current, more funny, at the expense of Kayne West - not you.
"This is a public...service...announcement...with guitars!!!"
Many thanks for enlightening me, Mr. Bluefish. As I noted, those of current pop culture are alien to me. The old "dude" has sufficiently chilled!!??, BUT.....NOT at the expense of smothering the fire than still burns within. Damn the torpedoes...All Ahead Flank and carry on regardless and in spite of. Comes the revolution.......
BUBBA CLINTON> You had two cows. One has bolted from the field and is seeking refuge in faraway lands. The other has strayed up here to New York and is depositing her most noxious excrement all about and polluting our environment. Please Arkansans, send a good ole country sharpshooter up here to calculate the windage for a 50 caliber shot to put her and us out of our MISERY, lest we have to recruit one from Texas. Amen!
advance_copy. I originally penned this as a 'private' message to you a few minutes ago, but then thought that there's a lesson here that goes two ways, so not being shy by nature decided to make it 'public'.
No worries.
Heh heh.. BTW ["By The Way"], I'm not as young as my post might have implied. The other day, I was at a friends house and was watching his son "chat" via instant messenger with a friend. I didn't have a clue what they were talking about. There were so many abbreviations and strange words and phrases that I thought they were speaking a different language.
I thought I was pretty up-to-speed. I even communicate with most of my clients by instant messenger, bypassing email altogether, using a lot of abbreviations at that.
Watching this kid made me realize that I'm not the info-superhighway wiz that I thought I was!
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