What Your Drink Says About You (very funny)

funtimes.com ^ | 12/04 | staff

[pissant]

Bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman's personality based on what she drinks. Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts.

The results (female):

Drink: Beer Personality: Casual, low-maintenance; down to Earth. Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.

Drink: Blender Drinks Personality: Flaky, annoying; a pain in the butt. Your Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy.

Drink: Mixed Drinks Personality: Older, has picky taste; knows what she wants. Your Approach: You won't have to approach her. She'll send YOU a drink.

Drink: Wine - (does not include white zinfandel, see below) Personality: Conservative and classy, sophisticated. Your Approach: Tell her you wish Reagan had had four more years . . . Alzheimer's and term limits be damned.

Drink: White Zin Personality: Easy; thinks she is classy and sophisticated, actually has no clue. Your Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is...

Drink: Shots Personality: Hanging with frat-boy pals or looking to get drunk...and naked. Your Approach: Easiest hit in the joint. Nothing to do but wait.

Then there is the male addendum .... The deal with guys is, as always, = very simple and clear cut.

Domestic Beer: He's poor and wants to get some.

Imported Beer: He likes good beer and wants to get some.

Wine: He's hoping that the wine thing will give him a sophisticated image to help him get some.

Whiskey: He doesn't give two rats about anything but getting some.

Tequila: Piss off, all you wankers, I'm gonna go shag something.

White Zin: He's gay.

[pissant]

Guinness: A man of the world

[Not A Snowbird]

I may have to switch to a different wine. Or go back to beer.

[Yo-Yo]

Guinness: A man of the world

Who wants to get some.

[pissant]

Shots or White Zin??

[pissant]

Guinness is a chick magnet....

[Not A Snowbird]

White zin. Now I'm going to go pout.

[trisham]

Drink: Wine - (does not include white zinfandel, see below) Personality: Conservative and classy, sophisticated. Your Approach: Tell her you wish Reagan had had four more years . . . Alzheimer's and term limits be damned.

****************

Chardonnay, to be exact. A classic martini a couple of times a year.

I do wish Reagan had four more years.

[pissant]

Ping

[Dashing Dasher]

Saw it....
I would have to agree with much of it.

[Not A Snowbird]

Does it count that I would drink chardonnay, if only it didn't give me a headache?

[pissant]

I'd take Reagan with ALzheimers over any Democrat I can think of (except maybe Zell)

[AGreatPer]

Dumb article pissant. Respect you more than this.

[pissant]

No. Gotta live with the headache (plus its a great excuse..)

[pissant]

You musta missed most of my posts!

[trisham]

I'd take Reagan with ALzheimers over any Democrat I can think of (except maybe Zell)

***************

You betcha.

[Not A Snowbird]

Ha!

Oh well, back to beer. I like shooting pool.

[Focault's Pendulum]

Whiskey: He doesn't give two rats about anything but getting some.

I don't know whether to sue for libel or slander...or cutting the author in for a piece of the action.

[Dashing Dasher]

Speaking of chick magnets....
I saw this unsightly fellow driving a Ferrari the other day.
He got out and geekily walked into the restaurant, severe comb over and all.
And I thought to myself.... there isn't enough $$$ in the world...

[pissant]

We'll keep it under our hats.

[Not A Snowbird]

I saw this unsightly fellow driving a Ferrari the other day.

That's so wrong. There should be a test.