If you insist!
Posted on 12/03/2004 7:01:43 AM PST by grellis
First, I'd like to ask all of you to say a prayer for one of our moms, backinthefold, whose son broke two foot bones recently. Can we have an update, BITF?
Next...well, I'm not sure where to begin. Earlier this week a thread was run, "A Paradigm Shift in Parenting" (sorry folks, I've forgotten the html for links) in which many of the FFT parents posted comments. The discussion among FReepers on the thread began as a look at the economics of parenting, a topic which we have discussed a number of times in the past. What the discussion turned into was just ugly, on many different levels. A few of the prevailing attitudes seemed to be "I am a stay at home mom so I'm a better parent than you are;" "I homeschool my kids so I'm a better parent than you are;" "I live in an afforable community so I'm a better parent than you are"...one complete (insert expletive here) even had the raw nerve to refer to the adoptive parents of foreign-born children as traitors to America.
What goes on here? Do we realize how hurtful some of our comments are going to be before we post them and have at it anyway, or is it just that we don't think about it? Do we make an effort to try to understand someone's situation before we pass our judgement upon them? Which begs the obvious question: Who are we to judge? I freely admit that I have done this in the past. When a poster gripes about the high cost of living in their community, my first thought is "So move!" Yet, recently, when I had occasion to gripe about the slumlords in my own community, I took great offense when I was told--you guessed it--"So move!" Is there some way that we can be more supportive of the choices of other parents? If that is not possible, could we at least try to be a little more constructive in our criticism?
Is this going to be the first FFT thread in which comments are removed by the mods??!
If you insist!
Good morning, ladies!
Good morning, gentlemen!
LOL!
Here's the link to the article you referenced:
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1291437/posts
Interesting topic - when we get back from all our errands today, I'll be curious to see how it went!
Thanks for putting the link up--back to bootcamp for me!
A quick comment, before I change diapers and bundle everyone up (cold morning, for us!):
I think one reason people get so hostile in defense of their decisions, and in assault on other people's decisions, is that the largely socialist society in which we live (willy-nilly) is DESIGNED to divide the people into competing groups, so that they will fight each other instead of overthrowing the real enemy - Big Government. How many variations of " ... but my tax dollars are paying for (lifestyle choice X) ..." do we see each day?
We need to wake up and see that we are being manipulated, with the clear intention of keeping us distracted while our freedoms are steadily eroded. When we're all slaves of the State - but still fighting and fussing because Massa treats one a little nicer than another - we will have no one but ourselves to blame.
I missed that thread! I think because of our anonaminity online we say things we know we shouldn't. I was bottle-fed, my mom worked outside the home, we lived in a crappy neighborhood, and I went to public school, but my parents were great. We always had what we needed, most of all love and guidance, which are what REALLY make a great parent. THERE IS NO SET RULES FOR HOW TO BE A GREAT PARENT. You don't have to breastfeed, you don't have to stay at home, you don't have to homeschool.
Something similar was on Montel yesterday. We can say "just move", but who, in all honesty, could do that? Maybe that person can't afford to move. Maybe that family needs two incomes to survive.
We *love* to be judgemental, and only know our own lives and experiences. Unfortunatly, I think sometimes we lack empathy. Now that is a great thing to teach your children...
...the exact words I used in the previous thread. Tax-chick posted the link, take a look when you get a chance. The FReeper comments are far more interesting than the thread itself, not in a great way.
I don't think so - but it sure made me take a good hard look at myself and how I react to certain types of comments.
Often I will get up and walk into another room for a few minutes to compose myself after reading a particularly vicious attack. But sometimes the urge to "hit back" is far too strong.
The best way I have found to help myself in response to a particularly (IMO) ugly or nasty post, is to reply with "I value my posting privileges here, so I will not respond in kind ........"
So far it has worked.
Very astute observation.
Here is my take on it. I only want my family to hang out with folks who teach their children to have respect for other people's choices (with the rare exception of abortion- that I do not "respect"), who can respect other people's property, who are not violent and who understand simple boundaries.
I don't care what color their skin is, how much money their parents make, what religion they are or where education is derived from.
Every parenting situation is different just as every single child is different. What kind of parent does not understand that?!
I don't want to be criticized for homeschooling, just as I do not criticize those who do not homeschool.
We are all doing our best to provide what we can for our kids and get thru the day.(Which is harder some days than other days!)
It is not at all cool for a parent to add to the daily stresses of raising kids by flaming another parent.
It is all about choice. You have yours- I have mine- they have theirs.
As a homeschooler I deeply believe that I know my what my child needs more than anyone else- and no one can tell me otherwise.
IMO- we all have that power in our own families.
"Bless your heart!" is a good all-purpose response, too. And I'm experimenting with "Bless your bowels!"
You are right, but love and guidance as you mention, are very good starting points.
LOL!!!!!!! "Bless your bowels"....that's priceless.
Oh. My. Gosh.
The hottest opprobrium is too cool for that attitude.
Changing topics to your larger theme: my own stance is to be judgmental, and charitable at the same time.
I think some choices are superior to others (HSing, SAHMing, for instance). But I also am too painfully aware that circumstances beyond our control often necessitate choices other than what we would make in different circumstances.
My central concerns would be twofold, I suppose:
1. Are the parents' values in the right place?
2. If they feel forced to make less-than-ideal choices, is it really unavoidable? Or is it because they have (falsely) adopted peripheral values (i.e. a certain material standard of living) as if they were central?
Dan
Biblical Christianity web site
Biblical Christianity message board
Biblical Christianity BLOG
>>Well I am a Christian, homeschooling - stay at home Mom- who lives in an affordable community.(So what?!)
Here is my take on it. I only want my family to hang out with folks who teach their children to have respect for other people's choices (with the rare exception of abortion- that I do not "respect"), who can respect other people's property, who are not violent and who understand simple boundaries.
I don't care what color their skin is, how much money their parents make, what religion they are or where education is derived from.
Every parenting situation is different just as every single child is different. What kind of parent does not understand that?!
I don't want to be criticized for homeschooling, just as I do not criticize those who do not homeschool.
We are all doing our best to provide what we can for our kids and get thru the day.(Which is harder some days than other days!)
It is not at all cool for a parent to add to the daily stresses of raising kids by flaming another parent.
It is all about choice. You have yours- I have mine- they have theirs.
As a homeschooler I deeply believe that I know my what my child needs more than anyone else- and no one can tell me otherwise.
IMO- we all have that power in our own families.<<
Wow! I couldn't have put it any better. Kudos!
It's an alternate translation :-).
I did not read any of the thread that is being discussed here, but your point is valid, regardless of the discussion.
It's called 'multiculturalism' and it leads to balkanization.
The traditional Judeao-Christian America was a 'melting-pot', which encouraged assimilation.
You have correctly stated the central evil of liberalism. To divided the country thereby making it easy to socialize/communize.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.