Are You A Metrosexual: ESPN quiz

ESPN ^ | 09/22/2003 | Sports Nation

[Keyes2000mt]

Are you a man who enjoys shopping, snappy shoes and a crisply starched buttondown? Have you ever frosted your hair or bought a pair of low rise bootcuts? Do you prefer a good martini over a sudsy draft? Get with it hipsters, you may be a metrosexual.

Now, say it with us SportsNation, "ME-TRO-SEKS-YOU-UL."

[Keyes2000mt]

This is a fun poll. I scored a "0" on it. :)

[MayDay72]

Scoring:
12 correct answers: One hot brother!
9-11 correct: Call your fam and friends -- you're a metro!
6-8 correct: Keep it up, you have serious potential!
3-4 correct: Go buy the latest GQ and study up!
0-2 correct: You're a lost cause.

You answered 1 question correctly out of a possible 12 questions.

[John Locke]

Scored 1 out of 12, which thankfully makes me a lost cause.

The only "right" answer was that I am "rereading an old classic". Of course, if the quiz knew that the classic in question was Patrick O'Brien's Master and Commander, they might reconsider their mark.

[TrappedInLiberalHell]

The only "right" answer was that I am "rereading an old classic".

That was my only right answer too.

[Savage Beast]

Holy Mackerel! I scored an 8...!

[cuz_it_aint_their_money]

Yep, I scored a 0 as well.
Although I personally consider "reading back issues of the Limbaugh Letter while in the bathroom" as "re-reading a classic" I don't think that was what they were looking for.

[tioga]

I made my husband take it, he scored a zero, no surprise here.

[Robert A Cook PE]

OK - I know I'm going to spoil everybody's future quizzes by posting these results, so if you don't want to see the answers, DON'T LOOK.

For everybody else: Look at what almost 1/2 million (?) previous answers were.

Do you see any (politically relevent) trend here?

The Howard Dean/John Kerry/ABCNNBCBS look-alikes that are the evening news and Entertainment Tonight are focusing on AREN'T the US population.

We DON'T do these things! So "who are" these "metrosexuals" that the media is fawning over... And why do they believe a bunch of "Little Five Points" (off-Broadway" "downtown San Francisco-wanna-be's" trying to impress?

By the way: Friday nights activity: No family? No HS football game, band practice, vollyball team tryouts/cheerleading squad pracice/one act play rehearsal, "pickup the kid", do shopping, go to movie with family, (take a nap) ?, , fix house, rake leaves, .... Where are the "regular lives" that we all have?

Look in the mirror? Sure - Everytime I wash my hands after going to the bathroom! (Who doesn't?)

I DON'T "go out" for a beer with the boys! Not when I could rent a movie for the kids (or grandkids). Where's "church" and "jobs" and "working late"

---...---

Rant over .... You can return to your regularly scheduled ESPN/CNN quiz now.

---...---


1) How many times do you look in a mirror each day?

26.4% Three times - a little mid-day peek.

25.8% Correct Answer: At least five - get off my case.


22.9% Twice - morning, evening.

15.0% Once - when I wake up.

9.9% Four times - I have uncooperative hair.


2) Can you leave the house without putting product in your hair?

50.0% Yes, I do it all the time

31.6% Correct Answer: No way


18.4% Uhh, is a baseball hat a product?


3) Do you moisturize daily?

42.5% Occasionally, if I have a sunburn or something.

35.8% No -- lotion is for girls.

21.7% Correct Answer: Always -- it's a necessity!



4) Not counting sneakers, how many pairs of shoes do you own?

33.3% Correct Answer: Gimme a second .. still counting ...


20.8% Four

19.2% Three

17.9% Two

8.8% One


5) Have you ever tweezed, waxed or trimmed your eyebrows?

47.9% No, never

26.8% Correct Answer: Yes, frequently. I firmly believe eyebrows should be two distinct entities.


25.3% A couple times, for special occasions


6) Have you ever shaved/waxed your legs, chest or back?

66.3% No, never

20.1% Yes, a few times

13.6% Correct Answer: Yes, I do regular maintenance



7) How much do you spend on a haircut?

57.0% $10-$20

16.0% My buddy does it for nothing

14.4% $20-30

6.6% The barber school down the street will do it for $5

5.9% Correct Answer: $40 or more



8) Your top drawer consists mostly of ...

51.0% Assorted boxer shorts

27.2% Good old Hanes tighty-whities

21.9% Correct Answer: Designer boxer briefs



9) What's the last book you picked up?

49.6% Whatever magazine was lying around the bathroom

29.7% A current best seller

20.7% Correct Answer: A re-read of an old classic



10) Going shopping is ...

53.9% A chore performed before the holidays, her birthday, etc.

26.4% Correct Answer: A top priority


19.7% An activity I despise


11) Best way to spend a Friday night?

49.8% Watching the game over a large pizza and a six pack

32.2% Dinner at T.G.I.Friday's and ninth viewing of Lord of the Rings

17.9% Correct Answer: Catch a hot musical, then drinks at a trendy martini bar



12) How would you describe your sense of style?

58.3% Comfy and casual

29.7% Refined and respectable

8.3% Correct Answer: Trend-setting hipster


3.7% Scrubby frat boy


Total Participants: 586,988

---...---

[Dan from Michigan]

ZERO!

[Hegewisch Dupa]

I have a real hard time believing so many of you have as few shoes as you say

[xsmommy]

good rant, robt. and is it unmanly to read a current nonfiction book? that wasn't listed as a possibility. they expect you are either reading GQ or Hustler.

[xsmommy]

well they don't all have your collection of CFM pumps, hd...

[Hegewisch Dupa]

oh crap. Reading is a skill. NOT counting sneakers. Well chalk me up for a goose egg too.

[xsmommy]

i wouldn't think any less of you, regardless of how many shoes you have, sweety : )

[Hegewisch Dupa]

FYI - if you want to see just how 'trendy' your martini bar is, see if they can mix up a "Journalist" - usually only your hardcore barkeeps can throw one together. They're damned tasty, too.

[xsmommy]

i would not know a martini if it bit me on the behind!

[theDentist]

Never heard of the thing. Based on what little of it I read of your posting, it sounds like a commercial for Queer Eye, and not worth beans.

[Hegewisch Dupa]

Best martini as far as I'm concerned is the "Dirty Martini," made by mixing vodka with the juice in the olive container. If you wink at the bartender you can probably get some extra olives too. Let me take that back: if YOU wink at the bartender you can probably get a freakin' olive tree...

[xsmommy]

; )

you can have the martini, i will just eat the olives : )

[Hegewisch Dupa]

That's the glory of the Dirty Martini - you get greasy olive taste with all the bulletproof abilities of vodka