Posted on 02/13/2024 6:25:51 AM PST by Carriage Hill
Diary of a Snow Shoveler (probable location - North East) December 8 - 6:00 PM It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses Print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!
December 8 - 6:00 PM It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses Print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow! Diary of a snow shoveler (probable location - North East)
December 8 - 6:00 PM It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses Print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow! December 8 - 6:00 PM It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses Print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!
December 9 We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a lovelier place in the whole world? Moving here was the best idea I’ve ever had! Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life!
December 12 The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a disappointment! My neighbor tells me not to worry- we’ll definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we’ll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I’ll never want to see snow again I don’t think that’s possible. Bob is such a nice man, I’m glad he’s our neighbor.
December 14 Snow, lovely snow! 8 inches last night. The temperature dropped to -20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life! The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again. I didn’t realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I’ll certainly get back in shape this way. I wish l wouldn’t huff and puff so.
December 15 20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife’s car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think that’s silly. We aren’t in Alaska, after all.
December 16 Ice storm this morning. Fell on my ass on the ice in the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The wife laughed for an hour, which I think was very cruel.
December 17 Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I should’ve bought a wood stove, but won’t admit it to her. God I hate it when she’s right. I can’t believe I’m freezing to death in my own living room.
December 20 Electricity’s back on, but had another 14 inches of the damn stuff last night. More shoveling! Took all day. The damn snowplow came by twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they’re too busy playing hockey. I think they’re lying. Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and they’re out. Might have another shipment in March. I think they’re lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he’s lying.
December 22 Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white shit fell today, and it’s so cold, it probably won’t melt till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to piss. By the time I got undressed, pissed and dressed again. I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of the winter, but he says he’s too busy. I think the asshole is lying.
December 23 Only 2 inches of snow today And it warmed up to 0. The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What is she, nuts?!! Why didn’t she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she did but I think she’s lying.
December 24 6 inches - Snow packed so hard by snowplow, l broke the shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the son of a bitch who drives that snow plow, I’ll drag him through the snow by his balls and beat him to death with my broken shovel. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I’ve just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was too busy watching for the damn snowplow.
December 25 Merry freaking Christmas! 20 more inches of the damn slop tonight -Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. God, I hate the snow! Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she’s an idiot. If I have to watch “It’s A Wonderful Life” one more time, I’m going to stuff her into the microwave.
December 26 Still snowed in. Why the hell did I ever move here? It was all HER idea. She’s really getting on my nerves.
December 27 Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze; plumber came after 14 hours of waiting for him, he only charged me $1,400 to replace all my pipes.
December 28 Warmed up to above -20. Still snowed in. The BITCH is driving me crazy!!!
December 29 10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in. That’s the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am?
December 30 Roof caved in. I beat up the snow plow driver, and now he is suing me for a million dollars, not only the beating I gave him, but also for trying to shove the broken snow shovel up his ass. The wife went home to her mother. Nine more inches predicted.
December 31 I set fire to what’s left of the house. No more shoveling.
January 8 Feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving me. Why am I tied to the bed?
Top 10 snowfalls at Millersville University (for York County) It includes a three-way tie for 10th place.
Jan. 7-8, 1996: 30 inches Jan. 22-23, 2016: 26.7 inches Feb. 16-18, 2003: 25.5 inches Feb. 11-12, 1983: 24 inches Feb. 5-6, 2010: 24 inches Feb. 15-16, 1958: 20 inches Feb. 9-10, 2010: 19 inches Mar. 13-14, 1993: 18 inches Mar. 20-21, 2018: 17.5 inches Jan. 15-16, 1945: 17 inches Feb. 3-4, 1961: 17 inches Feb. 13, 2014: 17 inches
ROFLMAO!
I know how the guy feels about the snow plow plowing snow back to where you just shoveled.
Florida boy says, what’s snow?
Been there, done that.
This really nails it.
When I moved to FL 10 years ago from up north, on the last day I gifted my snow shovel to my neighbor. Hahahaha!
LOL Keyhopper.
I am enjoying a very snow free winter here in Minneapolis.
Thinking about raking up the leaves that I didn’t get to last fall.
Finally getting around 12” today in East Central Pa. Loving it!
My mother, now deceased 20 years, shared this me me years ago. It was one of the few ways we bonded. Love this! Thanks for sharing!
I can relate. I remember spending a winter in central Illinois when I was in the Air Force. Seems like it snowed every weekend and the snowplow would come along and pile 3-4 feet of snow up against the car, so I had to dig that out before I could go anywhere. Shoveling the sidewalk was small potatoes compared to digging out the car. It did make it easier by being only 21 at the time.
I know how the guy feels about the snow plow plowing snow back to where you just shoveled.
****
Yup, same here! Smug city worker snowplow driver creeps….
That was great- I loved it!
We sold the house, now we rent, so the maintenance people do all the work!
Still, I do miss the place.
I’m like a 5yr old kid with his first snow — GIDDY! Living in a condo for the past 34yrs, the HOA Maintenance Crew do all our plowing and shovelling, and being retired since 2011, I don’t have to plow and shovel my old 20ac garden center & nursery, anymore.
Sometimes, I kind of miss that. NOT.
Enjoy the snow; it’s already melting here, with temps now in the upper-30s. We’ll have a ‘slush festival’ for the next 2-3 days, after it re-freezes at night, and melts again during the warm days.
I did enjoy the excercise I got shoveling, but NOT when I just got done shoveling, warming up the car to go to work, and here comes that damn plow…
I do think that if I could live out in the country under dark skies again, I wouldn’t mind shoveling, or yard work so much anymore.
A classic! I have redone it with even more colorful language!😀
I know a couple of guys who didn’t enjoy their cardiac events whilst shoveling!😎
That is us.
When you are retired you get to take your time with shoveling, yard work whatever.
It is good to be active, just need to know not to overdo it.
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