Do You Want To Touch Dieter's Monkey? Hint: NO, You Don’t

MOTUS A.D. ^ | 1-26-22 | MOTUS

[NOBO2012]

Remember that accident involving a truck full of lab monkeys the other day? It seems that a good Samaritan who stopped to help is now sick. As the Instapundit said “It sounds like every sci-fi virus film ever made.” But let’s not start another wild conspiracy theory that will turn out to be true in 6 months. It’s probably nothing.

It’s probably just me and my slow-moving COVID brain, but every time I see anything about this monkey story all I can think about is Michael Myers and the Sprockets.

Sprockets was a recurring comedy sketch from the NBC television series Saturday Night Live, created by and starring comedian Mike Myers as a fictional West German television talk show. The sketch parodied German art culture in the 1980s…The sketch parodied German stereotypes, especially those pertaining to German seriousness, efficiency, and precision…Myers played "Dieter", a bored, disaffected West German expressionist and minimalist who interviewed celebrities in whom he was demonstrably barely interested, and then invariably sought to bring the discussion around to his "limited" monkey, Klaus, seated on a platform atop a miniature column.

The repeating skit always included Myers creepy Dieter character asking his guest “do you want to touch my monkey?”

For the record: the correct answer then, and now, is a definitive “no.”

Eventually Dieter would grow weary of his guest and announce, “your story has become tiresome, now is the time we dance.” The line was supposedly based on a waiter Myers encounter while a struggling comic in Toronto. As the story goes, he would go to a cheap restaurant where all he could afford was a hot dog so that’s what he ordered every time from the waiter, Dieter.  Meyers thought Dieter’s, character could be exploited for comic gold at some point so he kept going back and ordering a hot dog. Eventually Dieter told him “your order has become tedious.” And now you know the rest of the story.

Now isn’t that better than any actual news you’re likely to encounter today?

If SNL had stuck to corny, stupid spoofs of modern culture – which is limitless these days - it might still be funny. And have an audience.

Posted from: MOTUS A.D.

[Yo-Yo]

Touch him! LOVE HIM!

[dfwgator]

Your story has grown tiresome.

[Yo-Yo]

Now we dance.

[who_would_fardels_bear]

Lieben mein aufen! (sp?)

[Red Badger]

Life imitates art.......................

[Leaning Right]

I’m confused by all of this. I remember watching a documentary about a monkey when I was a child. That monkey was always friendly and helpful.

[Bloody Sam Roberts]

I detest monkeys. And I completely despise chimpanzees.

I could never go overseas to any place where they allow Macaques to roam freely. I'd be in jail within minutes for killing them on sight.

Not that I'd go any place like that overseas. Just sayin'.

[RummyChick]

that is because George didn’t live in India

https://www.newsweek.com/monkey-kill-baby-india-drown-water-tank-1667848

https://nypost.com/2021/12/17/rampaging-monkeys-kill-250-dogs-in-india-in-revenge-massacrerampaging-monkeys-kill-250-dogs-in-india-in-revenge-massacre/

[crusty old prospector]

Back when SNL was funny. Now, I hardly crack a smile. Just plain vulgar.

[Bloody Sam Roberts]

Curious George was a chimp...an ape. Not a monkey.

Sorry. Pet peeve of mine. =;^)

[GOP_Party_Animal]

Yeah, they used to poke fun of Europeans. Now they just hate Americans.

[Bloody Sam Roberts]

Yeah. And the Liberal weenies love to trot out the old saw, "Man is the only animal that murders."

Horse puckey. Chimps kill chimps all the time. And Macaques and other species will kill anything.

[Robert A Cook PE]

And male lions kill EVERY pup in the pack as soon as the old male is killed. Then they rape the lionesses so the new pups are all sired from the new male lion.

[Leaning Right]

> Curious George was a chimp...an ape. Not a monkey. <

I have a PhD in Biology, with a concentration in primate DNA sequencing. So yeah, I think I know what I’m talking about here.

(In reality, I only took one biology course in college, and I got a C-. But if Elizabeth Warren can casually lie about her past, why can’t I?)

[muir_redwoods]

I understand that some dolphins kill sharks on sight. A high speed, nose-first ram into the shark’s gills and the shark bleeds to death.

[al baby]

This dude was hilarious

[SoCal Pubbie]

The skits that made us laugh and are remembered years later were not political. The Coneheads, Land Shark, Gumby, Mr Robinson’s Neighborhood, Superstar, The Roxbury Guys, Herb Welch and so on. They were absurd slices of life.

There was the occasional political bit, like Dan Acroyd playing Jimmy Carter after the Playboy interview, where Carter confessed to being a “Lusty, zesty kind of man full of vital hormonal secretions” but all that wasn’t so heavy handed. The show now is like some troupe of Red Guards traveling through backwater villages showing the peasants who to mock during the Cultural Revolution.

[ferret_airlift]

Let’s not forget the common housecat. Psychotic little creatures that gleefully torture other animals to death.

[seowulf]

Do you have a licance for that minky?