Biden Team Sets Interview Rules [semi-satire]

Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 2 August 2020 | John Semmens

[John Semmens]

Campaign manager Greg Schultz says Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden "will be giving more interviews and participating in debates, but only under certain conditions. These conditions include submitting all intended questions in advance. We will review these to determine which ones deserve a reply. For those that do we will prepare notes that Joe can use to identify which person to call on during the broadcast portion of the interviews and what answer he should give."

Schultz said a similar procedure will apply to any debates between the candidates: "the questions will be supplied in advance. Inappropriate questions will be stricken. Joe will be given written answers by our staff and coached on how to deliver them. If during the course of the debate his opponent should ask him a question, Joe will have the option of calling a friend or polling the audience for help with his answer. If his answer is deemed correct by the moderator his opponent will be required to donate $1 million to Joe's favorite charity, which happens to be the Hunter Biden financial empire. Finally, if Joe survives the event, the moderators will declare him the winner and the media will be expected to confirm this judgment."

Despite the claimed openness to interviews, the Biden campaign declined an invitation from Fox News' Chris Wallace. Wallace issued the invitation after President Trump told him that he "wondered whether Biden could handle the same kind of tough questions you've asked me." Schultz said "we've laid down the rules. Unless Wallace agrees to follow them he won't get an interview."

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

http://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php?topic=410102.0