Free Republic
Browse · Search
Bloggers & Personal
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Desperate Seattle Police Hit Antifa With Fire Hose Of Axe Body Spray
Babylon Bee ^ | 06/11/2020

Posted on 06/11/2020 2:40:26 PM PDT by DFG

Seattle has been taken over by Antifa forces, forcing desperate police to fight back with fire hoses full of Axe body spray.

With massive Axe Body Spray tanks strapped to their backs, the brave police charged into occupied territory and hit them with a full blast of the stuff.

"This was a last resort," said one Seattle police lieutenant. "For the safety of the city, we had to force the protesters to take some kind of shower. Even if it's just Axe."

"Plus, there's nothing Antifa hates more than any kind of personal hygiene."

Antifa fled in terror from even the slightest hint of deodorant, even Axe. A representative for the group called the concept of deodorant "an oppressive, Westernormatoxicisgendered idea whose time has passed."

"It is time for us to dismantle Western concepts of deodorant and hygiene," he said. "To suggest one person is smellier than another simply because he hasn't showered in a few months is bigoted and archaic."

Unfortunately, the Axe spray just mixed in with the smell of the occupying Antifa group, and now the whole area smells like patchouli, sweat, and Axe body spray.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: antifa; axe; deodorant; seattle

1 posted on 06/11/2020 2:40:26 PM PDT by DFG
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: DFG

More Pulitzer Prize Reporting by the Bee!!


2 posted on 06/11/2020 2:41:33 PM PDT by eyeamok
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: DFG

I guess my mood isn’t there for humor today. This was probably the least funny BB bits I have read in quite some time.


3 posted on 06/11/2020 2:42:19 PM PDT by CatOwner
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: DFG

Axe? Spray the Homeless Shit at them.


4 posted on 06/11/2020 2:42:58 PM PDT by ImJustAnotherOkie (All I know is The I read in the papers.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: DFG

Ha!

That’s the first Babylon Bee article that I’ve seen that was really funny.


5 posted on 06/11/2020 2:43:02 PM PDT by caver
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: eyeamok

I thought it was a serious article for a minute :)

I’m only 52 and I wont even recognize myself by 60 :)


6 posted on 06/11/2020 2:45:18 PM PDT by dp0622 (The very future of tis she the onehe Republic is at stake. We now know dems will do ANYTHING to win.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: DFG

Ooh. I know what that’s like. I drove car pool for the high schoolers for 4 years


7 posted on 06/11/2020 2:45:52 PM PDT by stanne
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: DFG

The Bee is on a roll!! Great Job!!


8 posted on 06/11/2020 2:51:45 PM PDT by Sacajaweau
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: CatOwner

There is another new thread from the Bee that was less believable—White Dems resigning from Congress as a means of standing up against White privilege.


9 posted on 06/11/2020 2:57:24 PM PDT by Hieronymus (“I shall drink to the Pope, if you please, still, to conscience first, and to the Pope afterwards.Â)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: Hieronymus

I’m sorry, but we’re having mob rule and MASSIVE PC changes taking place. Taking a dig at how the Antifa rioters smell just doesn’t seem funny at all. Talk about harping on drivel.


10 posted on 06/11/2020 3:02:05 PM PDT by CatOwner
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 9 | View Replies]

To: DFG

And we all know hygiene is taken seriously by mayor club foot of chicago


11 posted on 06/11/2020 3:06:20 PM PDT by ronnie raygun (silence is golden, I will not kneel)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: ronnie raygun

They should have hit them with “Velvet Sugar” my daughter wears. I finally told her I wasn’t driving Her to school if she wore it. Gag


12 posted on 06/11/2020 3:30:49 PM PDT by NickRails
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 11 | View Replies]

To: DFG

Smelling funky? Just ax for Axe.


13 posted on 06/11/2020 5:39:17 PM PDT by GreyHoundSailor
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
Bloggers & Personal
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson