Posted on 05/09/2018 5:07:43 AM PDT by w1n1
ne day, my partner Nicky and I responded to a call on Church Street in New York City. When we arrived, a woman was leaning out of a fifth-story window yelling Up here! Up here! We ran up the stairs of the old five-story walk-up and saw that the old wooden door had been knocked in and was hanging by a single hinge.
We went inside and met with a heavy-set, 30ish Latin lady who had been yelling from the window. She was clearly upset and sporting a fresh shiner. The following is a breakdown of our conversation, which in and of itself tells the story.
NYPD What happened?
Lady My boyfriend beat me up and then ran up the fire escape.
We radioed in to central command to confirm that we were at the correct location, explained that a woman had been assaulted and they should stand by for a description of the suspect.
NYPD What did your boyfriend look like?
Lady Hes short, very short.
NYPD How short approximately?
Lady Well, hes less than 4 feet 3 feet, 10 inches.
I looked at my partner and could tell he was asking himself the same question. How could someone that small kick in such a heavy door?
NYPD How was he able to kick in the door?
Lady Hes a karate expert. Somehow Nicky was able to speak into his microphone and said: Central, be advised that the suspect is 3 feet, 10 inches tall and was last seen fleeing up the fire escape of this building.
At this point, other officers started making inquiries on the radio. One officer asked, Well, is he a midget or a dwarf? Whats the difference? I asked. Why does it matter? Nicky added.
Another officer chimed in: A midget has a head proportionate to his body, while a dwarf has a small body and a large head.
NYPD Is he a midget or a dwarf? Read the rest of the funny violin story here.
What they really should have been asking, “was he a fiddler or a violinist”?
NYPD What happened?
Lady My boyfriend beat me up and then ran up the fire escape.
We radioed in to central command to confirm that we were at the correct location, explained that a woman had been assaulted and they should stand by for a description of the suspect.
NYPD What did your boyfriend look like?
Lady Hes short, very short.
NYPD How short approximately?
Lady Well, hes less than 4 feet 3 feet, 10 inches.
I looked at my partner and could tell he was asking himself the same question. How could someone that small kick in such a heavy door?
NYPD How was he able to kick in the door?
Lady Hes a karate expert.
Somehow Nicky was able to speak into his microphone and said: Central, be advised that the suspect is 3 feet, 10 inches tall and was last seen fleeing up the fire escape of this building.
At this point, other officers started making inquiries on the radio. One officer asked, Well, is he a midget or a dwarf? Whats the difference? I asked. Why does it matter? Nicky added.
Another officer chimed in: A midget has a head proportionate to his body, while a dwarf has a small body and a large head.
NYPD Is he a midget or a dwarf?
Lady Hes a midget
We informed central command that the suspect was a midget and they should stand by for further information.
NYPD Maam, what was he wearing?
Lady Well, he was wearing a tuxedo and carrying a violin case. He was going to propose to me.
We advised command that the suspect was 3 feet, 10 inches tall, wearing a tuxedo and carrying a violin case. At this point, we left the apartment and proceeded up the fire-escape towards the roof to search for the suspect. When we arrived and started looking around, we heard a rookie officer ask over the radio, Central, what does the suspect actually look like what color hair does he have? Nicky had a strange look in his eyes. He grabbed the radio and said, Stop anyone carrying a violin case! ASJ
Still waiting for the funny.
I am really slow this morning.
Explain it to me.
5 minutes....Wasted.
As I was told by more than one Tennessean when I vistied that state in 2011, the difference between a violin and a fiddle is that "a violin has strings, but a fiddle has straings."
You had to be there.
This is kinda funny, and a believable story at that.
Dispatch wanted a description that was needlessly specific. A midget, with a tux.. still not enough information.
So they pinpointed, of all things, a violin. They could have said at any point “Get the midget” and yes, even a dwarf would have been stopped.
“a violin has strings, but a fiddle has straings.”
This should be my tag line !
My fiddle has straings. :)
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.