They help women move – literally – out of abusive relationships. For free.

Miami Herald ^ | AUGUST 01, 2017 | SANDRA DUERR

[stellaluna]

My cousin married a delightful young man who charmed everyone. As soon as they got married he turned from Dr. Jekyll to Mr. Hyde. She escaped with the kids, the clothes on her back and her life. It was so bad his parents moved her and the kids into their house and told their son he was not welcome.

[Celerity]

Oh, I know the legal way. But I’m talking about the right way.

You know, if the government respected us all as human beings and not subjects.

In a perfect world... I’m saying.

[TwelveOfTwenty]

I'm all in favor of offering male abuse victims the same services as their female counterparts, but nobody is going to take abused men seriously until men start taking it seriously instead of treating it as some kind of joke.

In the meantime, why should help be denied to the abused women who really need it?

[vladimir998]

“In the meantime, why should help be denied to the abused women who really need it?”

Who is doing that?

[TwelveOfTwenty]

I’m tempted to say Hollywood, but I’ll just say that I didn’t mean to imply anyone was, or that you were saying we should.

[momtothree]

Don’t get me wrong, C... you are absolutely 100% correct. I have two daughters and I tell them that dating is a time to truly evaluate just what the other person is all about (I tell my son that as well). If the boyfriend/ girlfriend EVER pushes, hits, slaps, punches etc... END IT then and there. If they find out after they are married.. come home.

[Buttons12]

I live in relatively gunfriendly PA, but recently read about a woman who was arrested after defending herself from a notoriously abusive husband. He was still cussing her out after the pellet went into his brain through his nose. She was in custody well before he died.
Point is, you could be trading one captivity for another. Unless of course you obtained a protection order first. Which just makes abusers mad.
Every case is different but in general I think the best option is to plan carefully and arrange for a new residence, unknown to the abuser...and then at the opportune time, vanish.

[Tax-chick]

Ow! Turn your microphone down!

[Buttons12]

A moving company ? Thanks, but what we should be sending in are hi-points.

I am also quite skeptical about them "moving" stuff. If they do, they must have an ironclad hold-harmless clause in the contract. Moreover, shelters don't have room for much stuff.

Most people are too afraid of liability to help. And they have reason to be.

If the victim takes only the clothes on her back, how does she rebuild her life and why should she have to be reduced to absolute poverty to obtain her freedom?

And then, she's in a shelter with those clothes on her back, and possibly an infant in her arms...and she's completely at the mercy of the shelter authorities who can demand that she leave the premises at any time. To where?

A victim seriously determined to escape, needs to plan carefully to avoid leaping from the frying pan into the fire.

If she has to sign away rights or protections, if she has to give up all her assets, if she has to risk being evicted from a shelter ("Thirty days! Time's up!"), if she has to risk losing her children to child services because she is homeless, if she has to risk being arrested for defending herself with a firearm...she's asking for more trouble than she already has.

[lodi90]

I’m all in favor of offering male abuse victims the same services as their female counterparts, but nobody is going to take abused men seriously until men start taking it seriously instead of treating it as some kind of joke.
In the meantime, why should help be denied to the abused women who really need it?

---

I think men take violent women quiet seriously. As we see in this thread, it is women who are quite dismissive of that issue.

[Celerity]

You know why it’s so hard to kill an abusive spouse ?

Because it’s worth it.

I say this during my classes, and people seem to have a hard time grasping it. There is not a single law in the US, now or ever, that has allowed the killing of another person.

Even if an attacker - any attacker - has you pinned and is driving a knife through your chest - you still don’t have a “legal right” to kill them. You do what you need to do and face trial.

If you don’t like those odds, then you’ll need to run and evade. I’m not encouraging crimes, but I can tell you that sometimes people need killin’, and sometimes people need to disappear because they may not see justice.

[usconservative]

The most recent CDC data show that 55% of women slaughtered every year in the US are killed by intimate partners.

? Stats like this make every ex-husband and ex-boyfriend of every woman a prime suspect whenever a woman is murdered.

Makes me want to have a go-pro surgically implanted in one of my eyes so there's never a question of where I've been or who I've been with. (Speaking as a divorce')

[TwelveOfTwenty]

I think men take violent women quiet seriously. As we see in this thread, it is women who are quite dismissive of that issue.

I see just the opposite. Men laugh at it when it happens to other men, then want some kind of victim status when it happens to them. The fact that it's their own laughter that is turned back against them is completely lost on them. Meanwhile, fathers have for decades done NOTHING to defend their own sons against a school system that allows girls to hit them or even kick them in the nuts for no reason.

If female violence against males is ever to be taken seriously, it will have to start with men themselves taking it seriously.

[lodi90]

If female violence against males is ever to be taken seriously, it will have to start with men themselves taking it seriously.

---

You’ll never in a million years see a story like this about women helping abused men deal with violent women. Why is that? And you try to blame that on men? Rediculous.

The fact is “domestic violence” is assumed in our culture to be about male on female in violence. Statistically that is proven false and yet the female led domestic violence industry perpetuates that myth.

[TwelveOfTwenty]

You’ll never in a million years see a story like this about women helping abused men deal with violent women. Why is that?

I've made that same point myself.

And you try to blame that on men?

No, what I blame men for is THEIR refusal to take it seriously, and THEIR refusal to stand up to a school system that allows this.

The fact is “domestic violence” is assumed in our culture to be about male on female in violence. Statistically that is proven false and yet the female led domestic violence industry perpetuates that myth.

On one hand, you have MRAs trying to fight against this very myth. On the other hand, you have high priced prostitutes. Which do you think men are spending the bulk of their disposable income on?

Answer that, and you'll see what the problem is.

[lodi90]

You are avoiding that fact that women just accept a certain level of female on male violence is acceptable. That is the basis for their disinterest in female on male domestic violence.

Is a man allowed to slap a female who rejects him? Thankfully, not. Is a woman slapping a man who crudely propositions her traditionally culturally acceptable. Certainly. Women are obviously making the “rules” here. Don’t try to pawn females not caring about abused men off onto men. The proof is in the puddling as they say.

[TwelveOfTwenty]

You are avoiding that fact that women just accept a certain level of female on male violence is acceptable.

I'm not avoiding that at all. What I'm saying is that these kind of attitudes aren't going to change until men stand up and change them. For all of your wordy posts, you've failed to refute or even challenge that.

Don’t try to pawn females not caring about abused men off onto men.

I didn't. That's your straw man argument, because you can't answer my point about men refusing to make a stand against this.

For example, I pointed out that men won't even defend their own sons against a school system that allows girls to hit them or kick them in the nuts for no reason. Prove that wrong.

[familyop]

"...but nobody is going to take abused men seriously until men start taking it seriously instead of treating it as some kind of joke."

Well said, and we know that's not going to happen, and here's why. Stay with me until the end of this comment. Don't get mad and go away, unless you just want to "get some p***y" (in which case, do shut up and go away). I worked for fathers' rights and men's rights, as those efforts were going for a short while, then grew beyond them. As they were being managed, they cannot ever win.

First, we need to reject sociopath (psychopath) men and women, even borderline ones. Nothing can be done for women who want to go out drinking with the girls or men who want to go out drinking with the boys after marriage. We all know what they're looking for and that they cannot really win in the long run. Bar them from this discussion by ignoring them or putting them in their place (wearing trolls out with facts and rhetoric).

"On one hand, you have MRAs trying to fight against this very myth. On the other hand, you have high priced prostitutes. Which do you think men are spending the bulk of their disposable income on?

Answer that, and you'll see what the problem is."

Yes. Young, heterosexual men who are comfortable with morals need to be properly educated. They each need to be taught to screen women to be their potential wife as a matter of survival and prospects for building wealth. The education should continue throughout their lives.

If a young man makes the wrong decision early on, he may be heading for a hard life. It's the common "high priced prostitutes," who will be the most deceitful and costly. They will continue to cost the lives of their men and of their fatherless children.

The first part of that education should establish that young men get rid of and avoid romanticism. Be analytical. Don't follow your emotions. The thrill of sex last minutes out of the whole day. The thrill of the chase wastes time. It's not worth it. Reject those who've "been around the block," even if you're older. Don't have sex with them. Analyze and assess them instead. If a woman wants to have sex while dating, don't make the mistake of thinking of her as marriage material.

There's nothing wrong with dating younger women who are at least a day older than jail bait no matter how much younger (see Judge Moore). Don't get into the sack with one, unless you can pay the whole amount of hochild support until the end of that child's college years. If you can afford that much to indulge in sex with them, remember that they often carry quite a bit of baggage. Don't get into dog fights with the B's other victims.

Men and women who only want to have fun will do what they want, and no one can stop them. Let them be with each other and not with anyone who wants to build a good life. If you want to establish a good life, be very selective and patient.

There's nothing wrong with you. There's nothing wrong with your package. Be a man. There are more fish in the sea than you can imagine. Some of them have physical abnormalities (no natural lubrication, difficulty being satisfied, etc.), and some are quite healthy (really and truly physically satisfied enough of the time with any man they otherwise get along with--no need for faking).

And don't forget under any circumstance to have her sign a prenuptial agreement. No romanticism allowed. Romanticism is for whorehouses like that of the stinking Renaissance and that of today's "progressives" in both political parties.

Watch your backs.

[familyop]

Oh, and above all, stay away from drugs and heavy drinking!--the gasoline added to the fires of arguments that turn into domestic violence. I once dealt with many of those situations firsthand, and there was obviously either heavy drinking or drug abuse before every incident.

[familyop]

Well, almost every incident. Exceptions were few and far between. ...just remembered one exception (mother of her spoiled son, jealous of his girlfriend).