Posted on 11/09/2016 1:53:14 PM PST by 2ndDivisionVet
Do you suppose that Justin Trudeau will come out today with a speech detailing his plans to build a great wall on Canada’s southern border? He might, but for more than one reason. True, the very liberal PM probably dreaded the idea of having to deal with Donald Trump, but he might also want to stem the tide of hapless, sobbing celebrities who will presumably be flooding toward his immigration offices now that The Donald will be President Donald. Did any of you catch this hot list from the Hill reminding us of all of the people who said they would leave if Hillary lost?
Dozens of celebrities vowed to leave the country if Donald Trump won the White House, saying they’d flee to everywhere from Canada to Jupiter.
The threat is a common one after any election outcome: Canada’s immigration website crashed from heavy traffic as it looked increasingly likely that Trump would win.
But after the real estate mogul clinched the presidency in a stunning victory early Wednesday morning, some of those stars will face questions about making good on their promise.
Let’s see who needs to hit the fashionable luggage store.
Bryan Cranston gave us a “definitely.” Fortunately for him all of that experience in making top quality meth should serve him well in Vancouver. I hear their drug market is really sub-standard.
Trudeau won’t have to worry about making space for Samuel L. Jackson. He declared that he’s going to South Africa. Best of luck, Sam. You can still make movies there and I’ve enjoyed several of yours. Let us know if there are any snakes on your plane.
Cher said she’s “moving to Jupiter.” This could actually be a win-win because I read recently that NASA’s Cassini probe was running out of fuel and would have to be crashed into the gas giant. Perhaps Cher could bring along a couple of jerrycans of unleaded and extend the mission a bit further.
Amy Schumer and Chelsea Handler are both moving, though Schumer is going to Spain. Handler claims to have already bought a home somewhere else but she’s not saying where. Have fun, ladies, but be careful. The real estate market can be a real bear.
But the two biggest names have been saved for last. Miley Cyrus swore she would move, emphasizing the fact that, “I don’t say things I don’t mean.” And of course, Lena Dunham was the most clear of all.
Lena Dunham told Andy Cohen at the Matrix Awards that “I know a lot of people have been threatening to do this, but I really will. I know a lovely place in Vancouver.” The star and creator of HBO’s “Girls” has been a vocal advocate for Hillary Clinton.
So long Lena. But don’t worry. I think HBO films a lot of their shows in Vancouver anyway.
George Stephanopolous needs to be hounded on twitter the rest of his life when he refuses to give up his gig at ABC after declaring he would move out of the country
Why hasn’t anyone considered that the Canadians may have SHUT DOWN the site deliberately.
They can have her. And before anyone gets any crazy ideas... Please NO pics.
I got this via email today:
Subject: Canada to Build a Wall
News Update from Canada
The flood of Trump-fearing American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week. The Republican presidential campaign is prompting an exodus among left-leaning Americans who fear they’ll soon be required to hunt, pray, pay taxes, and live according to the Constitution. Canadian border residents say it’s not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors, global-warming activists, and “green” energy proponents crossing their fields at night.
“I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn,” said southern Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage borders North Dakota. “He was cold, exhausted and hungry, and begged me for a latte and some free-range chicken. When I said I didn’t have any, he left before I even got a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?”
In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences, but the liberals scaled them. He then installed loudspeakers that blared Rush Limbaugh across the fields, but they just stuck their fingers in their ears and kept coming.
Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals just south of the border, pack them into electric cars, and drive them across the border, where they are simply left to fend for themselves after the battery dies. “A lot of these people are not prepared for our rugged conditions,” an Alberta border patrolman said. “I found one carload without a single bottle of Perrier water, or any gemelli with shrimp and arugula. All they had was a nice little Napa Valley cabernet and some kale chips. When liberals are caught, they’re sent back across the border, often wailing that they fear persecution from Trump high-hairers.
Rumors are circulating about plans being made to build re-education camps where liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer, study the Constitution, and find jobs that actually contribute to the economy.
In recent days, liberals have turned to ingenious ways of crossing the border. Some have been disguised as senior citizens taking a bus trip to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half-dozen young vegans in blue-hair wig disguises, Canadian immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior citizens about Perry Como and Rosemary Clooney to prove that they were alive in the ‘50s. “If they can’t identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we become very suspicious about their age,” an official said.
Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating an organic-broccoli shortage, are buying up all the Barbara Streisand CD’s, and are overloading the internet while downloading jazzercise apps to their cell phones. “I really feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can’t support them,” an Ottawa resident said. “After all, how many art-history majors does one country need?”
Just what Canada needs the Pillsbury dough girl
I think that with proper 24-hour-a-day supervision, Lena Dunham could possibly aspire to be a somewhat competent ice-thickness-tester in Canada.
Say in July.
Love the moose and that look on the kid’s face
Wouldn’t Canada consider Dunham’s action to be an act of war?
Sorry, Canada!
I’ve always liked you. You don’t deserve this, eh?
Chuckle....
Thank goodness I didn't have anything in my mouth when I read this! LOL
We really need to hound these libs at every opportunity , Don't forget your promise.
When did he say that?
JWF @JammieWF
Mrs. Stephanopoulos: ‘If Trump wins, we’ll start looking at real estate in Sydney, Australia’ http://bit.ly/2fCdFhY @GStephanopoulos
9:27 AM - 4 Nov 2016
And Trump is going to deport Justin Bieber back to Canada, as well.
The canadian leaders have already called Trump about a wall along the Canadian border.
To be read to my hubby after dinner for a good laugh. Thanks for sharing.
###
I got this via email today:
Subject: Canada to Build a Wall
News Update from Canada
The flood of Trump-fearing American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week. The Republican presidential campaign is prompting an exodus among left-leaning Americans who fear they’ll soon be required to hunt, pray, pay taxes, and live according to the Constitution. Canadian border residents say it’s not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors, global-warming activists, and “green” energy proponents crossing their fields at night.
“I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn,” said southern Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage borders North Dakota. “He was cold, exhausted and hungry, and begged me for a latte and some free-range chicken. When I said I didn’t have any, he left before I even got a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?”
In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences, but the liberals scaled them. He then installed loudspeakers that blared Rush Limbaugh across the fields, but they just stuck their fingers in their ears and kept coming.
Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals just south of the border, pack them into electric cars, and drive them across the border, where they are simply left to fend for themselves after the battery dies. “A lot of these people are not prepared for our rugged conditions,” an Alberta border patrolman said. “I found one carload without a single bottle of Perrier water, or any gemelli with shrimp and arugula. All they had was a nice little Napa Valley cabernet and some kale chips. When liberals are caught, they’re sent back across the border, often wailing that they fear persecution from Trump high-hairers.
Rumors are circulating about plans being made to build re-education camps where liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer, study the Constitution, and find jobs that actually contribute to the economy.
In recent days, liberals have turned to ingenious ways of crossing the border. Some have been disguised as senior citizens taking a bus trip to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half-dozen young vegans in blue-hair wig disguises, Canadian immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior citizens about Perry Como and Rosemary Clooney to prove that they were alive in the ‘50s. “If they can’t identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we become very suspicious about their age,” an official said.
Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating an organic-broccoli shortage, are buying up all the Barbara Streisand CD’s, and are overloading the internet while downloading jazzercise apps to their cell phones. “I really feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can’t support them,” an Ottawa resident said. “After all, how many art-history majors does one country need?”
A good start...
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