Illinois to Create Advisory Council of Muslims [semi-satire]

Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 26 June 2016 | John Semmens

[John Semmens]

A bill approved by the state Legislature creates a 21-member Illinois Muslim-American Advisory Council. Co-sponsor of the legislation Sen. Jacqueline Collins (D) hailed the measure as “a sensible way to ensure that the activities of state government have a chance to get Muslim buy-in at an early stage. A lot of what we do without thinking is offensive to the followers of Islam. Clearing policies and programs ahead of time will prevent Muslims from having to resort to violence after-the-fact as a means of expressing their displeasure.”

Republican Rep. Barbara Wheeler voted against the bill, calling it “a wrong turn down a dangerous road. We don’t have a Catholic Advisory Council or a Jewish Advisory Council. Making a special effort to set up a council for one particular religion strikes me as an inappropriate mingling of church and state.”

Collins labeled Wheeler’s views “short-sighted. If we mess up and pass policies that offend Catholics or Jews they’ll just take us to court or vote us out of office. If we mess up with Muslims we could end up getting killed. Muslim’s dedication to their faith is passionate. Many have no hesitation in martyring themselves to defend their beliefs. Unfortunately, this martyrdom usually entails suicidal attacks on unbelievers. Rather than let things get out of hand it is better to establish a mechanism to assuage their sensibilities before blood is shed.”

In related news, the US Department of Homeland Security announced plans to ban the use of the words “jihad” and “sharia” in its anti-terror campaign. Secretary Jeh Johnson said “the use of these foreign words conveys the wrong message and diverts our attention from the much larger threat from home-grown enemies. As nasty as the few attacks carried out by persons with some connection to Islam may be, there are millions of armed non-Muslims with anti-government views. Even worse, these right-wing zealots are the tip of an ice berg of tens of millions who oppose what we are trying to do for this country and who may overthrow us at the ballot box.”

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

https://azconservative.org/2016/06/25/hillary-unfazed-by-mounting-evidence-of-email-crimes/

OR

http://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php/topic,213447.0/topicseen.html

[raybbr]

I’m assuming that there is already an advisory council on Christianity and Judaism, right? (I know it’s satire).

[rktman]

Here’s my advisory. Rat out the violent faction in your community or be classified right along with them. You know who the are and which imams are inciting them.

[SERKIT]

How many Wahhabis will be appointed to this phony commission by the failing RINO-Rauner?

[Redwood71]

I agree with this move. An advisory counsel can work both ways. By living in this country, the Muslim groups are required to follow our laws, not theirs. Part of the duties of the counsel will be to educate the masses that are having a difficult time in this direction. It will also close the gap of the communications problems we are having as the committee can emphasis the American way of living and our society. If it doesn’t work, start deportation of those that are not citizens and jail those that are when they disobey our laws. The very last effort is always dialogue. Use it.

I noticed in a couple of thread pieces that people are asking why we didn’t have committees for some other things like Jewish, Catholic, or anyone else. The answer to this is simple, we are not being killed by those people. Now when the religious wars were in effect some 800 years ago, it might have been more productive to have done it this way. And we are supposed to be more civilized now, aren’t we?

red

[Theodore R.]

IL people are the poster children for what the old communists called “dupes” or “useful idiots”.

[chicagolady]

Most Republicans in Illinois Voted YES for the Bill. Republicans Hate us!!