Posted on 05/11/2016 2:19:27 PM PDT by Peter ODonnell
This is what I would like to hear on January 20th, 2017.
I would like to hear it even more on the first of October but hey, I'm a patient man ...
"My fellow Americans ...
You may be surprised to hear me say this, but I am a humble man today. As I stand in this place in the center of our government and our enduring freedoms, beside the outgoing president (looks around), hey where is that dude? oh well, not to worry, our government continues through a peaceful transition, and only a few people will be arrested, almost all of them guilty of something.
Now some of you may have voted for my opponent. Was that the old lady or the old guy, I wasn't paying much attention and anyway, what would it matter? I was going to win. What other result could there have been, Americans aren't crazy. At least, the Americans who are supposed to be here, with one or two exceptions, are not crazy.
So listen, if you voted for my opponent, I want to extend a hand of friendship, and smack you around the head a few times. What were you thinking? Another Democrat? C'mon.
I mean, come on.
Now, many millions of you watching on TV or that new thing where you look at a phone, and even about fifty people in this crowd here, voted for me. And today, you're partying like it's 1981. That reminds me, beef up my security. Mr Putin, tear down this embassy.
Okay, to my supporters, and you know who you are, high fives. Just got off the phone to the president of Mexico. He says work already underway on that wall. I said what's the hold up? Don't forget to put a few doors in it, opening your way.
Now I meant what I said about Muslims not coming here until we can figure out what's going on. And to do that, I have appointed some of the brightest minds in America to report back to me in 2024 on what they have learned. That's if I remember. I may forget.
Okay, China. Read my lips, no new imports.
And I've got a word for you there, One Young Eel or whatever your name is in Pyongyang. Make a will, buddy.
Make a will.
Freezing cold out here, should have had this at my estate in Florida. Well, next time maybe.
Now a few words from Vice President Palin. You rock, America.
“Thank you. Let’s get busy!”
Hopefully he’ll have someone else write it fore him, an he will read it from a teleprompter.
His usual disjointed rambling, however spirited, would be inadequate for such an occasion..
Good, except unlike his pal O’Reilly, Trump knows all about that “thing where you look at a phone” and uses it highly effectively.
True, he tweets like a millennial. A bit of projection going on there, no doubt.
Hey, I could write a serious one. Somebody’s going to need to pay for that though.
One line came to mind:
The safest bet you can make is on the United States of America.
Definitely, I want to see Soetoro, Hillary, Huma, and a dozen others in manacles and leg-irons BEFORE the inaugural address begins.
would love to hear a “get ‘em out!”, followed by his crew escorting Barry off the stage.....
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