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Islamic Values on the March Around the Globe [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 6 Mar 2016 | John Semmens

Posted on 03/07/2016 1:25:44 PM PST by John Semmens

The Punjab Province of Pakistan's efforts to criminalize violence against women was denounced as un-Islamic by the Council of Islamic Ideology. "The Quran explicitly grants men control over their women," Muhammad Khan Sherani, head of the Council pointed out. "The secular authorities have no right to impede the laws given to us by Allah."

Fazlur Rehman, the chief of one of Pakistan's largest religious parties, the Jamiat-i-Ulema Islam, concurred. "This law makes every man insecure. If a husband is barred from beating his wife, if a father is prohibited from killing a wayward daughter we will descend into the same moral corruption that taints the West where females are permitted to walk the streets half naked and torment men."

In Saudi Arabia, Dr. Abd Al-Aziz Fawzan Al-Fawzan, Professor of Islamic Law, defended the molestation and rape of women by Muslims in Germany, saying that "if a woman gets raped walking in public alone, then she, herself, is at fault. She is only seducing men by her presence. She should have stayed home like a Muslim woman."

In Sweden, a TV crew from the Australian 60 Minutes TV program trying to make a video depicting the hardships suffered by migrants from the Middle East in the Stockholm suburb of Rinkeby was assaulted by the subjects of their video after local police withdrew so as not to provoke the refugees. Officer Olav Dunderskalle blandly explained "it's a 'no-go zone' for police. We told the TV people they enter at their own risk."

In Denmark, Imam Abu Bilal Ismail has stirred some controversy by calling for "the stoning of adulterers and the killing of apostates." State authorities are in a dither, uncertain of what to do. Deputy Minister of Justice Kanker Sohr professed himself to be "paralyzed with doubt. Is this just a philosophical principle or is it meant to be carried into action? On the one hand, we don't want to stifle religious beliefs. On the other hand, can we afford to be caught asleep while violence is plotted against our citizens? I wish there were a clue as to what Muslim intentions really portend."

In Russia, a nanny beheaded a four year old girl left in her care and paraded the severed head around near a transit station for nearly a half hour shouting Allahu Akbar before authorities arrested her. Arresting officer Ivan Andropov admitted to being stunned and puzzled by the incident. "At first I thought this can't be real," he said. "Murderers don't advertise their guilt so obviously. But sadly, it was real. The woman claimed Allah told her to commit this crime. My question is whether she or Allah is the one who is insane."

In France, Middle Eastern refugees attacked police who tried to move them out of their squalid, ramshackle tents into more commodious quarters. Rioter Idu Apu charged police and the French government with "trying to impose western lifestyles on us. Cleanliness is their fetish, not ours. We have a right to live as we did in our old country. To compel us to do otherwise is terrorism, pure and simple."

Finally, in the United States, U.S. District Judge Tanya Walton Pratt ruled that the Indiana state government's attempt to block Syrian refugees from coming to live in the state was unconstitutional. "President Obama is the supreme authority for this nation's foreign policy," Pratt wrote. "No state has the right to oppose his actions."

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

http://azconservative.org/2016/03/05/state-dept-to-wait-until-after-election-to-evaluate-hillarys-emails/


TOPICS:
KEYWORDS: abuse; islam; murder; satire

1 posted on 03/07/2016 1:25:44 PM PST by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

Where’s the satire?


2 posted on 03/07/2016 4:08:48 PM PST by This I Wonder32460
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