Posted on 02/15/2016 10:35:30 AM PST by John Semmens
Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nev) has introduced legislation that would fund lawyers who assist illegal aliens to avoid deportation.
"Look, these immigrants have undertaken lengthy and sometimes dangerous journeys to get here," Reid said. "It would be a shame to see all of that effort go to waste just because they've entered the country illegally. There are a variety of stratagems that lawyers can use to help these people evade that fate. But lawyers won't work for free and these immigrants are too poor to pay their fees. My bill will put the financial burden where it belongs—on the taxpayers of America."
"The US Constitution directs the government to secure the blessings of liberty to our posterity," Reid pointed out. "Since native-born Americans aren't reproducing at a rate sufficient to ensure a robust posterity the importation of immigrants willing and able to take on this role is imperative if we are to survive as a nation. Any assistance we can render to enable immigrants to move about the country and fill vacancies left by natives seems a prudent course for advancing this survival."
In related news, Reid raised the specter of a brokered Democratic Convention to choose the Party's presidential nominee. "Neither of the two leading candidates is an attractive option," Reid admitted. "Sanders is almost as old as me and I'm pretty worn out. If we choose him it could poison the well that has landed the Party big money from the financial industry. On the flip side Hillary's got a boatload of potential legal problems. Sure, President Obama could preemptively pardon her, but that's a dicey move from a PR standpoint. Making a deal that settles on a fresh face may be the way to go. Besides, it could be both profitable and fun."
if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...
http://azconservative.org/2016/02/12/mosque-weapon-seizure-called-discriminatory/
You kid, but I can see it happening.
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