Posted on 08/25/2015 11:40:47 AM PDT by John Semmens
Iranian President Hassan Rouhani denounced “those who would use the murders committed by ISIS, Hamas, and kindred terrorist organizations to contradict the truth that Islam is a religion of peace” and called upon all true Muslims “to rise up and slay the defamers.”
Rouhani rejected the contention that his own endorsement of the “death to America” slogan might fuel the perception that Islam might not be a religion of peace. “America is the prime opponent of world peace,” Rouhani argued. “Crushing the infidel enemy of peace is the only sure path to the universal peace that will prevail when all the world is united under the one true faith.”
“The bombings, the beheadings, and the rapes will stop once the advocates of erroneous doctrines are permanently silenced,” Rouhani promised. “Peaceful submission to the will of Allah is a path open to every person of every race. Violence is only meted out to those who resist this peaceful path.”
In related news, Secretary of State John Kerry tried to downplay the disclosure that under a secret side agreement of the deal he negotiated with Iran, Iran will have the right to choose who will and won’t be allowed to inspect suspected nuclear weapons development sites by pointing out “its cost-saving impact. By using local Iranians as the inspectors we save travel expenses that would be incurred by outsiders who would have to fly in from some other country.”
In a related cost-saving measure, it has been revealed that the Veterans’ Administration has been shredding rather than reading letters from vets. Deputy Secretary Sloan Gibson cited “the substantial reduction in hours of work and the associated costs avoided are key factors in staying within the budgetary limits imposed on the agency by Congress.”
if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...
http://azconservative.org/2015/08/25/bush-endorses-universal-surveillance/
Wrong target, stupid! Also, it seems a tad weird to slay everyone who says you aren't a religion of peace. Do you see the irony there? How about rise up and slay ISIS and their ilk, or do they get a pass because they are members of the religion of peace.
I fart in Allah’s general direction.
Yes, they get a pass. If you don’t want to die an infidel, convert to the religion of piece so you can go to heaven when they cut your neck. Or pay the dhimmi tax.
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