Dr. Joy DeGruy Addresses Black Depression, Violence; and Healing?

Dr. Joy DeGruy Clearly Describes A Potentially Life-Scarring Mental Condition Experienced By Many Kids Who Are Victims of Child Abuse/Neglect.

Hello. I try to calmly relate my experiences providing uniform and investigative police services for more than a decade to a Brooklyn, NY, Rap Hip Hop influenced community.

Though I am told my writings are not always sensitive. I apologize if my frustrations seep into the my accounts of personally witnessing child abuse, as well as how abuse/neglect adversely impacts the lives of developing infants, toddlers, children, teens and their communities.

While doing online research into child abuse I came across this video, opened it, spied a face and heard a gentle voice I grew up hearing and respecting. I knew Gil Noble to be a accomplished and credible NYC news reporter and interviewer so I decided to watch the segment with Dr. Joy DeGruy.

After this talk I was still curious about 'cognitive dissonance', wondering how it might relate to victims of child abuse? So I looked further, locating this video in which Dr. DeGruy speaks about the six years of research she conducted for her book, "Post Traumatic Slave Syndrome: America's Legacy of Enduring Injury and Healing (PTSS)".

When I learned she has an interest in selling her book, I immediately thought I was about to hear the same old retread talk about slavery and racism. As I listened I realized I was wrong, Dr. DeGruy was saying some things I can definitely relate to my life experiences and the years of child abuse I witnessed. Abuse that caused me to experience and deal with emotional trauma.

Opening her talk Dr. DeGruy stated, "I did about six years of research specifically looking at violence. My area of focus is violence."

This statement immediate drew me in because I spent twelve years serving a Brooklyn, NY community where on a daily basis I witnessed the aftermath of depressed children, teens and adults committing emotionally and physically harmful, anti-social acts against their peaceful neighbors.

A little peek at my background. I was a toddler when Motown was in its infancy, we grew up together, virtual friends. As a public school kid growing up during that tumultuous, exciting/disturbing era in American and world history, (I looked forward to periodic bomb shelter training) I listened to very appealing, well produced music shared by talented black music artists while contemporaneously learning about racism and slavery.

I was trying to figure out why I was being taught All Men Are Created Equal and all peaceful men have an absolute right to enjoy their vision for Life, Liberty and Happiness, yet there seemed to be a number of freedom loving Americans having a problem with black people who were writing music that made me smile and who fought/sacrificed in wars to help preserve our/my freedom. What's up with them, why are some of my American neighbors upset with my Motown friends?

It was not making sense until I actually began living life, experiencing and learning of the many human ignorances some of my fellow humans embrace, as well as the human proclivity for being wary of and questioning the character or background of people who are not like them, or from totally different cultures.

As I acquired life experiences, evaluating them for usefulness, tucking them away in my aging sometimes corrupt memory files, I realized the scope of racism, the pain it caused, would most likely take generations to subside, and a few more generations to heal the wounds caused by human ignorance.

The doctor spoke about trauma caused by racism/slavery, how it affected the actual victims and subsequent generations as horror stories of slavery and racism are passed down from generation to generation.

Dr. DeGruy correctly suggested figuring this out is not rocket science, common sense should tell the average person that creating laws ending slavery and racism did not wipe away the trauma experienced by people who for more than two hundred years were thought of and treated as less than human. As an average teen in the early 70s learning more about our world, human ignorance, bigotry, I realized it would take generations to heal those deep wounds.

Listening to the doctor describe HOW supposedly educated, mostly wealthy people profiting from slavery demonized slaves, characterizing them as less than human made me think. "Were these educated Americans genuinely embracing human ignorance, or were they aware slaves are just as competent as any other human? Were educated, wealthy Americans demonizing slaves before a poorly educated/ignorant American public as a means to keep human compassion and empathy from interfering with their profits as the public witnessed how slaves were being treated by slave-masters?"

Listening to Dr. DeGruy's presentation expanded my understanding of racism. Now I am not sure if human ignorance fueled slavery/racism, or did educated wealthy people taking advantage of a poorly educated and trusting public, create propaganda to assuage the public and continue exploiting humans for free labor? Hmmm...

Regardless, emotional damage was done to my Motown friends and their predecessors. Despite suffering centuries of horrific emotional damage, my friends wrote and composed beautiful sounds, many artists embracing love, peace and unity that made me, many of my friends and neighbors smile, wanting and needing to dance celebrating the joys of the life we were introduced to.

Dr. DeGruy shared how emotional trauma caused by racism and slavery affected the actual victims and subsequent generations as the horror stories of slavery and racism are passed down from generation to generation.

During this educational, insightful/revealing presentation, Dr. DeGruy speaks about "social learning theory," emphasizing these words, "Hello, social learning theory....you learn from those in your environment."

This is where I pressed the pause button when my mind began processing too many thoughts at once, all stirred by the doctor's comment about social learning.

My first thought was about Grammy Award winning American rapper Kendrick Lamar Duckworth (born June 17, 1987), who in 2015 was awarded a Grammy for writing a rap performance that included these lyrics, "I've been dealing with depression ever since an adolescent."

Upon reading Kendrick's words about experiencing depression when he was a kid, my child-abuse memory folder auto-opened, immediately browsing the hundreds, perhaps more, of depressed kids I met or observed during the twelve years I conducted layman's research into child abuse/neglect.

Abuse and neglect that often lead to children not embracing compassion or empathy, or intentionally ignoring empathy and compassion because, "My life sucks, why should I care about yours!?"

I've met many depressed children who developed into depressed teens and adults, often violently venting their anger and frustrations on their peaceful neighbors and communities. Most of the faces have faded with time, though many of the situations that caused me to meet or regularly observe these kids are still somewhat vivid.

Including some very vivid memories of Brooklyn's Marcy Houses during the period young Shawn Jay Z Carter raps about utilizing his "Mack-Milli" automatic firearms to protect him and his crew of equally emotionally abused/damaged/neglected teens from rival drug/contraband dealers in nearby public housing developments.

I became stressed and depressed from personally witnessing muzzle flashes, hearing gunshots and interviewing innocent or not-so-innocent victims of gunfire or other emotionally debilitating and physically harmful activities Shawn and many rappers write about.

I cannot begin to 'fully empathize' with the ever-present fear for their safety every single person living and working in Marcy was forced to endure/cope with while Shawn profited from the 24/7 Brooklyn drug trade he clearly raps he was actively promoting, thus further harming emotionally damaged people born and nurtured during the post civil rights era, as Shawn was. In my opinion Shawn Carter often joyously writes/raps about callously harming the children of my Motown friends. Not cool!

However, as a human being I can empathize with the caution and extra care peaceful human beings residing in the houses or surrounding neighborhoods must exercise to protect themselves and/or their families from the activities of abused/neglected teens.

In a 2011 LAWeekly interview I recently read, 2015 Grammy Award winner Kendrick Lamar clearly explains what caused his early childhood depression and why he continued to experience depression into adulthood.

"Lamar's parents moved from Chicago to Compton in 1984 with all of $500 in their pockets. "My mom's one of 13 [THIRTEEN] siblings, and they all got SIX kids, and till I was 13 everybody was in Compton," he says."

"I'm 6 years old, seein' my uncles playing with shotguns, sellin' dope in front of the apartment. My moms and pops never said nothing, 'cause they were young and living wild, too. I got about 15 stories like 'Average Joe.'"

In a October 2012 LAWeekly writer Rebecca Haithcoat interviewed Kendrick Lamar suggesting Kendrick's, "songs are full of passion and pain."

Kendrick's words clearly describe the emotional pain he and his school mates suffered because they were irresponsibly introduced to life by immature "wild" single-moms or parents who subjected their developing children to horrific acts of child abuse and neglect.

Reading Kendrick's description of his abusive upbringing has me wondering if cognitive dissonance plays a role in stressing developing kids when Kendrick and his schoolmates spend their mornings and afternoons being taught about how our society functions, people's responsibilities to each other, the difference between right and wrong, respecting your neighbors, DARE programs informing them of the dangers of drugs >>>> and then going home to the environments Kendrick describes?

Are most elementary school children confused when being taught totally different messages and values by the adults responsible for their care, nurturing and education?

Recently, Tavis Smiley and O'Reilly were talking about poverty when Tavis stated he is one of TEN children. Sadly, he revealed his NINE siblings continue to struggle while he is the only one in his family to grow and prosper.

Growing up witnessing the negative influences of "The Street" culture in her community, Baltimore grandmother Toya Graham, while still a teen begins building a family of SIX children, one of whom, her teen son Michael Graham-Singleton, was observed trying to cause grave harm to humans attempting to protect peaceful people from harm.

In a CNN interview, apparently denying reality or showing little concern for her credibility, Ms. Graham strongly denies reality, adamantly imploring, "At no time is my son a thug."

After nearly twelve years of rigorous, often intense daily research of people I witnessed suffering depression from the effects of child abuse, my layman's opinion is Kendrick Lamar's description of his immediate and extended blood relative family, as well as the environment he was exposed to while trying to develop into a human being able to compete in our competitive world, pretty much explains why poverty and pain continues to harm so many children and their communities...poverty and pain caused by selfish, irresponsible, immature young women who really need to stop harming their kids and communities, beginning by responsibly building smaller families they can better care for and supervise.

Holding off building a family until acquiring some practical skills and life experience while still a teenager would also be very helpful in easing the pain and struggles of poverty many immature moms irresponsibly subject their children to.

Like it or not, agree with me or not, women are the givers of human life. In most ancient and modern societies women are the primary caregivers and nurturers responsible for raising society's young.

In America, each woman has an inalienable right, as well as responsibility to determine when she is prepared for motherhood. Married or not, men do not make that decision.

Getting back to 'cognitive dissonance'. I am curious if cognitive dissonance plays an active role in emotionally harming Kendrick, his friends and schoolmates living in similar homes and environments as they mature?

In school children interact with mature, responsible adults educating them about society's rules, respect and how to peacefully succeed/prosper in America.

At home children witness on TV the peaceful fun life many American kids are enjoying, while slowly being conditioned to accept the pain and hardships of the community harming "The Street" hustle life embraced by their immature, "wild" parent(s) and neighbors.

I've met, detained, and/or arrested more than a few child/teen/adult victims of abuse/neglect who voiced their resentment/anger/disappointment with their moms and/or dads for introducing them to a life of hardship, pain and struggle.

When venting their anger, frustration and rage at parents who emotionally abuse(d) and neglect(ed) them, I've observed countless children/teens/adults frequently resorting to violence that harms their peaceful neighbors.

Dr. DeGruy states she focuses on violence. I've experienced violence, witnessed how it negatively impacts the lives of peaceful people and their community. I did not like witnessing people harming each other or themselves...especially during what seemed to me like a never ending raging flood of violence.

In my life I witnessed some extremely saddening/maddening scenes of humans sharing physical violence causing physical injuries that heal with time.

Though witnessing emotional violence committed against a kid who just wanted to be a kid enjoying a fairly happy young life, was often more difficult to bear, knowing emotional wounds often scar developing children for life.

The life-scarring wounds incurred by emotional abuse and violence at the hands of irresponsible "wild" caregivers are responsible for what many refer to as "black on black crime."

Without these wounds, in my opinion, most all of these kids would develop into fairly well adjusted people capable of achieving greatness. Sadly many parents actively thwart their kids from becoming peaceful teens and adults with unlimited potential for helping themselves and all American communities.

This young boy I arrested is a victim of "emotional violence" and "black on black crime."

I am not certain if this young college woman is affected by 'cognitive dissonance,' though I would like to learn Dr. DeGruy's theory for why she exhibits multiple personalities?

Tupac Amaru Shakur born Lesane Parish Crooks; (June 16, 1971 – September 13, 1996) is a more well known/popular victim of child abuse/neglect, rapping/writing about the emotional damage he sustained as a result of being irresponsibly introduced to life by depressed, immature caregivers who caused him great emotional harm.

It seems obvious Tupac's caregivers and Kendrick's caregivers have experienced "cognitive dissonance." Especially their moms who in my opinion have to realize they are introducing their children to a life of pain and struggle, yet they do so anyway at great peril to the emotional development of their children.

Kids are not stupid. For many kids, as they mature their thinking becomes more sophisticated, some earlier than others. They realize their single-moms or parents are selfish, immature people who irresponsibly birthed them before bothering to acquire the skills required to successfully raise, nurture and provide for them. Many kids realize they were introduced to life by women many pejoratively characterize as "Welfare Queens."

I'm certain there are many depressed, frustrated children who resent their moms and dads for exploiting social policies that lend aid to immature, struggling caregivers, assisting them in building large families of brothers and sisters who struggle right along with them. All because their immature, often depressed, often poorly educated mom acted irresponsibly by introducing them to a family with too many mouths to feed.

I am certain that everyday there are thousands of emotionally damaged American children silently thinking, "Mom, why did you have so many kids when you cannot feed, clothe and keep a watchful eye on all of us?"

Today, living/surviving in American urban communities, there are many child victims of abuse/neglect/maltreatment who deny they are/were being abused, choosing to protect their parental/caregiver abusers. I have no doubts, many of these kids do not even realize they are victims of emotional abuse/neglect.

I have met caregivers who have no clue they are subjecting their children to abuse/neglect. On my blog I write about a few moms I met who lacked most or all skills required to raise and nurture a fairly happy, peaceful child. This is one of many totally clueless moms I witnessed "cluelessly" harming their children. I named her Boom-Box Mom.

Previously I mentioned kids 'silently' think about the anti-social conduct they witness their caregiver(s) engaging in, or they silently think about the poor choices their parents made that resulted in them not experiencing the fun, safe, mostly happy life many other American kids enjoy.

In 1987, the same year Grammy winner Kendrick Lamar was born, singer/songwriter Suzanne Vega wrote "Luka", a song about child abuse that garnered three Grammy nominations, including Record and Song Of The Year for her Top 5 hit about child abuse.

Suzanne nailed it, parents and caregivers do the most horrific things to their kids, yet many kids will defend their abusers, blaming themselves for their "blues," bruises and injuries before admitting a parent/caretaker harmed them.

"Yes I think I'm okay I walked into the door again Well, if you ask that's what I'll say

When questioned, most kids will clam-up rather than say an ill word about their parental abusers.

However, I've met a few child abuse victims whose level of frustration with their caregivers pushed them to make poor choices causing the police to become involved...and subsequently reveal their true feelings, as the young teen I arrested in the "/victim-of-abuse/" story I linked to this writing.

The depressed, emotionally damaged teen I arrested is not alone. After spending several months reading rap performance lyrics penned by many popular American rappers I recognize they too are victims of, or witnessed friends who were victims of some pretty horrible childhood abuse.

Dwayne "Lil Wayne" Michael Carter, Jr. (Born September 27, 1982) is an example of a damaged kid who at twelve-years-old was exploited, and in my opinion subjected to child maltreatment by American Rap Hip Hop producers.

https://knutesniche.wordpress.com/2015/05/21/american-rap-producers-ignoringpromoting-child-abuse/

Dwayne "Lil Wayne" Michael Carter, Jr. recorded these rap lyrics when he was a preteen:

The year he officially entered adulthood, eighteen-year-old Dwayne released "Lights Out" (2000), featuring a performance he titled, "Shine," (feat. Baby, Hot Boys)

"I like them modelin bitches, I love them swallowin bitches Where them hoes, there they at, I'm 'bout to follow them bitches (let's go)"

During the 1960s ALL my Motown friends wrote and recorded lyrics that praised, loved and clearly respected women.

What happened to post civil rights era children that causes many of them to view women differently than my Motown friends?

What trauma did children experience or were children exposed to that inspires many kids born in the 1970s and beyond to characterize women, aka moms, sisters, grandmas and daughters, as bitches and whores, or less than human?

Tupac and Kendrick have answered this question in their rap lyrics and/or interviews. Both men clearly describe how their caregivers have failed them and their siblings, as well as thousands of children living in poverty because their mothers irresponsibly introduced them to a life of hardship and struggle.

Recently I learned of YouTube broadcaster David Carroll, a prolific video producer and speaker who states he has been studying "the black man" for more than twenty years.

While I find myself agreeing with many of Mr. Carroll's observations and conclusions, I also believe his decision to engage in demeaning "name-calling" weakens his messages and position as an educator.

In fact, David Carroll's juvenile name-calling mirrors the behavior of many of those he chooses to criticize, giving his video productions a similar feel to many rap performances I've read in which rap performers constantly offer demeaning put-downs, characterizing their neighbors in demeaning terms, often using words that portray their male and female community members as "bitches" or less than human.

Unfortunately I did not save one eye-opening production David offered, and I have no desire to rummage through the dozens of vids he uploaded to Net.

In this video David Carroll blames SINGLE moms for causing their boys to develop into teens and men who embrace the nonsensical drama some or many black adult males have adopted into their lives. If you are not familiar with their drama, read their rap lyrics.

This David Carroll observation made perfect sense to me in that I have witnessed black teen and adult males acting much like their mothers who refer to other females as bitches and whores, or as people less than human, not deserving of respect, compassion or empathy.

Sadly many children develop into adolescents who had a 'Yin' in their lives, but were not exposed to a 'Yang'.

Unlike many living in the community, I was fortunate in that I could request a transfer to a more friendly, less depressed, stress filled community, which I did.

Initially I intended to spend my entire career serving the same community. I preferred interacting and dealing with my fellow citizens, I wanted to be a cop preventing and investigating crimes, not a boss telling cops how to act, often held partially responsible when subordinates act out of line. I never participated in promotional exams, I liked public service oriented police work.

Spending so much time in the community, I viewed it as my second home. For my own safety and to better serve the community I felt becoming very familiar with people in the community's neighborhoods, learning the back alleys and abandon building drug, stick-up kid's hangouts, developing contacts and informants, gaining a rep as a fair cop, was the career plan best suited to me.

Sadly, the levels of child abuse and violence I witnessed on a daily basis slowly, insidiously took an emotional toll on me. I worked with guys who spent thirty years serving this community, they didn't bat an eye, often laughing or joking about the aftermath or actual violence they witnessed. I'm told joking about constantly being exposed to horrendous events is a way some people cope with those events. Though I cannot recall any cops laughing or joking when a child/kid was the victim of a crime(s).

Something cops do not laugh about is witnessing the body of a murdered fifteen-year-old child rolled into a old carpet and disposed of in an abandon lot after she sold drugs for her dealer, became hooked, ripped-off her dealer and paid the ultimate price for stealing from her dealer. I was not assigned to investigate this case, though I recall the close proximity of the dead child's body to the Marcy Houses where Shawn Jay Z Carter proudly raps about profiting from causing pain to people.

For me, yeah, some human events were amusing but the majority were saddening, maddening and/or sickening. I thought I had a thick skin but this community proved me wrong as I could no longer watch large numbers of depressed people harming each other, especially the innocent little kids that many in the community talk about loving, but do little in the way of actually showing their love or protecting children from harm.

Sadly, my civilian co-workers, most all competent moms living in the community, as well as the majority of loving, caring parents raising kids in this community, could not request a transfer to a safer, more stable environment to raise and nurture their children in.

Getting back to Dr. DeGruy comments about violence and healing. Listening to the words Dr. DeGruy shared I did not hear any references to how 'Cognitive Dissonance' affects children in TODAY'S struggling communities.

I did not hear any words about how we heal people coping with 'Cognitive Dissonance' caused by their caretakers and "the Street" life prevalent in many struggling American communities.

What I did hear is Dr. DeGruy offering a historical lesson that opened my eyes to matters and events I was ignorant to.

Though I did not hear Dr. DeGruy offering solutions to quelling violence or healing those damaged through no fault of their own.

Perhaps in future writings and speaking engagements Dr. DeGruy will relate how "Cognitive Dissonance" negatively impacts developing children Like Kendrick and Tupac? Children who sustain long-lasting emotional damage caused by depressed people who build families before they have acquired the skills and means to provide for their large or small families.

Early in my police career when I was assigned to a Brooklyn community a few of my training officers advised me to be prepared to experience "culture shock." When I asked what is meant by "culture shock," I was told, "You'll find out."

I did find out what "culture shock" is, though it was not a culture of violence and harmful anti-social activities many were insinuating I would be shocked by.

The aspect of this Brooklyn, NY community that shocked me to the core was witnessing children being emotionally scarred by a "culture of child abuse/neglect" that Kendrick Lamar raps and speaks about some twenty-five years after I first witnessed the "Culture of Child Abuse/Neglect" that today CONTINUES emotionally damaging many developing children and their communities.

Being raised in a single parent household easily exceeds the description of child abuse, given the statistical harm to children, making them 60% more likely to criminally offend.

Yet Democrats religiously insist that marriage is just a social contrivance. How many millions more children must suffer lives of crime and despair because of the leftist philosophy?

2 posted on 06/04/2015 9:00:49 AM PDT by yefragetuwrabrumuy ("Don't compare me to the almighty, compare me to the alternative." -Obama, 09-24-11)

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