Bergdahl Didn't Desert, Lawyer Says [semi-satire]

Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 28 March 2015 | John Semmens

[John Semmens]

While the Army has decided to charge Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl with desertion and "misbehaving before the enemy," his lawyer, Eugene Fidell, contends that Bergdahl never intended to desert.

"Sgt Bergdahl had serious concerns about the lack of discipline in his unit," Fidell contended. "Rather than engaging in idle griping, he took the initiative to try to resolve the problem by conducting an independent inspection of the standards and practices of the Taliban. It was his hope that what he learned could help reform the way US troops behaved while in the field."

"His plan was thwarted when the Taliban refused to let him return to his unit," Fidell said. "Instead, they held him captive, forced him to convert to Islam, and enlisted his aid in their operations against US troops. This turn of events was a complete surprise to my client. He now regrets his naivete. It would be cruel for him to be punished after he already has suffered enough at the hands of his captors."

State Department spokesperson Jen Psaki declared that "these new revelations vindicate the President's decision to make the exchange that brought Sgt Bergdahl back home. We should wish that more of our soldiers were as earnest as he was. It would be tragic if this nation were to repay his service by sending him to prison."

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

http://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php/topic,166558.0.html

[rockrr]

Sort of an “advance to the rear” moment, eh?

[TexasFreeper2009]

I agree, deserting is different from being a traitor and switching sides!

[Doogle]

he took the initiative to try to resolve the problem by conducting an independent inspection

"..looks, ya gotta take the initiative furst, denz da bike, denz werks urs wayz ups to da carz"

[Saltmeat]

Yeah. And next week pigs are going to fly.