Posted on 03/12/2015 2:30:50 PM PDT by 6ft2inhighheelshoes
www.whiskeycreekpress.com
Etiquette For Idiots and Other Stupid Stories Chapter 1: Things you should know instinc- tively…but are too much of an idiot Dinner Party Requirements For Idiots I love to throw dinner parties for the following reasons. I enjoy cooking, setting a beautiful table, and being praised throughout the evening. However, I am running out of pa- tience with some of the more recent dinner guests/idiots who have graced my table. The following are some rules I will need you to follow if you happen to get invited over for dinner, because I didn’t make Prosciutto Parmesan Grilled Pears to be upstaged by an idiot. 1. Listen and wait your turn to talk. If someone at the table is telling a story then shut the heck up and listen to them. When that person is in the middle of telling their story do not immedi- ately launch into a similar story about yourself (Tyra Banks) or how that story relates to you. In other words, before having din- ner at my house please read and study Dale Carnegie’s book How to Win Friends and Influence People."
2. Do not get so drunk that you start slurring your curse words. I don’t care if you need to curse, but at least enunci- ate the word and justify your cursing by making the story better because of it. The “F” word should not sound like you are choking. 3. You get two hugs from me. One when you arrive and one when you leave. Not fifteen hugs…not even three, and for the love of God, do not kiss me directly on the lips, es- pecially if your lips are wet and you’re not married to me. 4. Do not tell me that you love me if you just met me.
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Funny.
Bill Bennett’s wife, Elaine, had WAY better “etiquette tips (LAWS”) for her dinner parties!!!
Don’s daughter, btw.
She does not look like her Dad!
Is she older or younger than his wife Deidre?
Don’s daughter, btw.
**
It shows. What a dope.
Indeed she does not.
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