Satire: Become and Islamist and save the Earth. Or else.

Dan Miller's Blog ^ | September 25, 2014 | Dan Miller

[DanMiller]

This is a guest post by Imam Mohamed al-Jihadi, a friend of (my also imaginary) friend Senator Ima Librul (L., Utopia, the Unicorn State). Imam Al-Jihadi is a renowned Islamic scholar and author of "The Real Dreams of My Real Father," soon to be published by the Religion of Peace Publishing Company. After explaining the truth about Islam, Imam al-Jihadi tells us how to please Allah by combating climate change.

Imam Mohamed Al-Jihadi

A message of true peace through submission to the Most Holy will of Allah the all merciful:

In the name of Allah the all merciful, may the peace of submission be upon you whether you believe that you desire it or not, إن شاء الله‎. As even Imperialist Obama has told you repeatedly, Islam is the religion of peace and abhors all violence. We engage in some peaceful efforts of Islam -- wrongly called "violence" by unbelievers and apostates -- only to seek the submission of unbelievers and apostates to the One True God, Allah, may His Holy Name be praised and may His blessings be upon all who submit willingly to His righteous commands. Any who refuse to do so shall be dealt with as Allah directs, إن شاء الله‎.

If you hope to be saved, first become politically correct. That will propel you along the righteous path to adhering to Allah's Holy Word with proper devotion, submission and humility. Cease, therefore, your evil disparagement of the Religion of Peace Through Submission and also your futile efforts to fight hopeless battles against it. Rise up as one to battle the worst crisis ever, the climate change demon. Even your Imperialist in Chief Obama has often commanded you to do so, as he did again on September 24th during his remarks at the United Nations. The horrors of climate change are the product of the Obama Nation's rejection of Allah the all-mighty and all-merciful, the one and only green God. The Obama Nation must change, radically, its wicked ways and join wholeheartedly with the righteous defenders of Allah's Earth. Many photos of useful idiots those in California who are trying to do so are at the link. Here's a video of remarks by one of them:

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tr8FujQVGuI]

Video link

Do not, however, be misled by her fantasies about Communism, an evil religion because it spurns the Holy teachings of The Prophet Mohamed. Although she did speak semi-truthfully about Capitalism, it is no less evil than Communism because it also is un-Islamic and engages in numerous violations of Allah's Holy Sharia law. It must and shall be abolished, إن شاء الله‎.

As to oil, there is ample environmentally friendly oil in Islamist countries and it must be used -- exclusively -- to support Holy Islam. Those who use oil from elsewhere, and of course coal, scornfully defy the will of Allah and must be dealt with as are other unbelievers and apostates who stubbornly reject His commands. Allah orders it.

As you, our inferiors, begin to accept Allah's commands others will learn from and come to follow even you -- not to a world based on false Capitalist or Communist doctrine but to an Islamist world where truth, mercy and justice reign supreme. It is written. All un-believers and apostates who reject this wise counsel must, and therefore shall, be punished severely now and in the hereafter, إن شاء الله‎. As we have preyed prayed, the Mahdi will soon come. Beware.

When you instead submit totally to Allah, virgins anxious to please you in every way will greet you as you go to meet Him. Here is a picture of only one of the many which await you.

I await you and am horny. Please come!

Editor's comments

I  was privileged to select the graphics to be associated with Imam al-Jihadi's presentation and hope that he will find them pleasing unto Allah.

There is no truth to any rumor that Imam al-Jihadi has been placed in charge of the Obama Nation's Department of Homeland Security, Environmental Protection Agency, Department of Justice or all of them. It would make little difference. However, if and when he is appointed, and if and when the Mahdi arrives, updates may be posted.

[lewislynn]

Become and AN Islamist and save the Earth. Or else.

Grammar is your friend when want to be taken seriously as a writer.

[DanMiller]

Thank you. I have fixed it at my blog but have no way to fix it here.

[JimRed]

Hey, at least he didn’t excerpt! One of the “good” bloggers!

[reg45]

Eliminate fossil fuels and that will eliminate the funding for the Islamists. They can sell sand filled hourglasses to finance the Middle Eastern regimes.

[mc5cents]

Eliminate fossil fuels and that will eliminate the funding for the Islamists.

OK I am all in for that but explain what a "fossil fuel" is. Thanks.