Semi Satire: Metaphors for Israel and Islam

Dan Miller's Blog ^ | July 24, 2014 | Dan Miller

[DanMiller]

The media, which have favorites and enemies, report accordingly. The UN Human Rights Council is much the same.

Introduction

This is a re-posting of a satirical article from May 23, 2012. It mocked media coverage of the death of Trayvon Martin (the Religion of Peace personified) at the hands of George Zimmerman (Zionism personified). It also mocked and compared media coverage of Israel and "Palestine" as of that date. With few exceptions, the media coverage of Israel, particularly in connection with her current operations in Gaza, has not substantially improved since then.

Mr. Zimmerman was tried and convicted in the media. However, when relevant and admissible evidence was presented in a court of law (even with a judge biased against him), he was properly acquitted of all charges. Unfortunately, the UN Human Rights Council (UNHRC) which is about to "investigate" Israeli "war crimes" in Gaza, is not a court of law. It is, instead, as PM Netanyahu characterized it, a "kangaroo court." Perhaps it is also an extension of the media. According to this article, it's even worse than that, if possible:

The UN Human Rights Council held a special session in Geneva on July 23, 2014 to declare effectively that Israelis do not have human rights.  The vote was 29 in favor, 1 against and 17 abstentions.

The Obama administration voted against – after joining and legitimizing the virulently anti-Jewish Council for the past five years, and now feigning disappointment for American cameras.

The Europeans abstained because they did not want to upset their violent Muslim minorities, and because their sordid past didn’t leave the resolution’s message too foreign in any case.  A few cowardly countries that Israelis have magnanimously befriended over the years also abstained.

But the majority of the UN world cheered – literally.  Speakers during the procession of hatemongers at the Council were greeted with applause.

As is their wont, CNN, The New York Times and company derived from this spectacle the lesson that Israel is pathetic, isolated and doomed.

For those might no longer remember much about the Zimmerman - Martin affair, here's a Bill Whittle video about it.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7PN6ucLenbY]

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The 2012 article

Warning: attempted media satire below.

Zimmerman is a blood thirsty White racist who murdered a defenseless little Black child who would not relinquish his Skittles. He should have avoided conflict by staying at home and minding his own business. Israelis murder defenseless little Palestinian children who lack even Skittles, daily.  They should also go home (where ever that is) and mind their own business.

Racist red-neck Zimmerman

All should have learned from the principled media early on that George Zimmerman is a violent neerdowell White racist from a gated fat cat townhouse community in Florida and that justice can be had only by promptly convicting him of murder.  These facts should have been, and it is to be hoped were, burned into our very souls well before extreme right-wing racists descended, locust like, to interfere (they continue to do so remorselessly) by scrounging up shreds of irrelevant and falsified information to sully the sterling reputation of little Trayvon Martin. Here is a brief restatement for anyone who was paying insufficient attention.

A self-appointed community organizer watch Kapitän (his name even sounds German), Herr Zimmerman goose-stepped in cowardly fashion from his mansion on February 26th to seek a non-threatening little person of color to murder. 

He chanced upon Mr. Martin, a skinny seventy-eight pound weakling who looked a lot like the son our enlightened post-racial President Obama needs.  Because Herr Zimmerman is a right wing nut who hates President Obama and was offended by Mr. Martin's skin pigmentation, Herr Zimmerman chased him like a rabid dog. In an absurd effort to prepare an alibi, he called a police dispatcher on 911. Unfortunately for his alibi, he was ordered in no uncertain terms to cease molesting the harmless little child and to leave the scene. Overwhelmed with anger and yelling racist epithets, Herr Zimmerman disobeyed the police order and continued to follow little Mr. Martin -- not just to steal his Skittles but to murder him.

Mr. Martin refused to give up his Skittles and Herr Zimmerman attacked him brutally. Soon he was lying on the ground beneath Mr. Martin. Humiliated, Herr Zimmerman pulled out his pistol and murdered the defenseless little child as he had always intended.  Despite specious claims that Herr Zimmerman suffered a bloody nose and minor scratches to the back of his head, he was in no danger of significant bodily harm as claimed. Instead, he did it simply because he was humiliated by being pinned on the ground by a weak and harmless little Black child.

Herr Zimmerman should have remained calm and stayed where he lay to reflect upon the monstrous harms he and others before him did over thousands of years to little Black children who probably looked a lot like Mr. Martin.  Had he known how to read, Herr. Zimmerman might have learned that a disgraceful half of our murders have been of Blacks; they are victims rather than criminals. Between 1976 and 2011, only ninety-four percent of all Blacks killed in the United States were killed by other Blacks. Yet as is typical of our primitive racist society, the percentage of Blacks in prison is far out of proportion to the percentage of Blacks in the population as a whole. If only we had stringent gun control laws like civilized countries, all would now be well and there would be one less racist right wing nut. the world would be a better place for all.

True, extremist right wing racists may have met with minor undeserved success in trashing the memory of Mr. Martin in their demented quests to rehabilitate their Fuhrer, Kapitän Zimmerman. Their temporary success does not detract in the least from the brave and unselfish efforts of The Reverend Mr. Sharpton and his stalwart colleagues to put the travesty into proper perspective. They, along with all right thinking people everywhere, know full well what caused it: years of hatred against persons of color and associated fears that, due to the exemplary moral fortitude and work ethic of all, they will rise from poverty to surpass red-neck right wing White racists who still cling to their pitiful little guns and Bibles.  Such hatred is not only despicable, it is pernicious. Because of that hatred, Trayvon’s™ Trail of Tears must continue its expensively benign fund raising educational work, despite vile racist opposition, to enlighten us all.

Murdering Racist Israelis

Israelis are senseless, brutal Zimmermans writ large. Like Herr Zimmerman, rich and powerful but morally depraved, Israelis with neither legal nor moral justification occupy lands not rightfully theirs as they deprive peaceful Palestinians children of their human rights out of sheer meanness and to drive them from their only homeland. They even hoard for themselves, and block entry into the rest of Palestine of, the bare necessities little Palestinian children need to shore up the senses of self-worth of which the Israelis have for so long deprived them.

Last week, from May 13-19, the IDF coordinated the transfer of [a patently inadequate] 1,147 trucks with 31,736 tons of goods and gas into the Gaza Strip. (Bracketed insert added.)

So what if a few errant missiles from Gaza may occasionally land in occupied Palestine (sometimes referred to by the unenlightened as Israel)? The number is insignificant: there have been only about three hundred so far this year, and even those few were obviously intended as peaceful fireworks displays to demonstrate the deep but sadly unrequited Palestinian love for the occupying Israelis. All attempts to report alleged Islamic violence, as well as alleged Black violence, are wicked because that just makes them look bad and further diminished their already atrophied self esteem. As noted in this rightly respected blog,

Israeli and Jewish hypocrisy is so brazen that it probably has no match under the sun. Jewish and Zionist circles never stop accusing other countries of harboring “hate” against Jews.

. . . .

Israel is inherently and absolutely unfit to lecture other countries and other peoples on the evils of racism as Israel itself is probably the ugliest and most brazen of embodiment of racism on earth.

The photo on the right shows one of the five Fogel terrorists, humanely sacrificed in accord with sacred Islamic tradition, in a small farming community in the West Bank portion of Palestine.  Rather than heap condemnation upon the virtuous  heroes who bravely performed the heart-warming deed, as Israelis have done, they need to praise them in order to restore their self-images.  As I noted here, the sacrifices were way cool.

Israeli terrorist

That’s what heroes do when fighting against oppression, for freedom, democracy and other humanitarian good stuff.  The surviving [Fogel] family members deserve to be taunted. And for all we know, the heroes who dealt with them did not urinate on their corpses as would have savages from the U.S. who deserve to be tarred, feathered and convicted of war crimes at the very least.  Since the Palestinian heroes apparently did not desecrate the bodies, they are our kind of guys!  Three cheers for Palestine and three yucks for the wicked Israelis who irritate them so maliciously. Peace is at hand, if only Israelis would negotiate in good faith. (Bracketed insert added.)

Whatever they may falsely claim happened to them in the past, Israelis should forget it because now it is up to them finally to submit and yield their own love to their unjustly maligned neighbors who desire only peace.  As noted here,

We are informed that after ethnically cleansing Jews from Jerusalem in 1948, Arab East Jerusalem was magically created for all time.

Times Magazine informs us that with his new coalition, it is now up to Netanyahu to make peace–an odd statement only because the media has always assumed that it is Israel’s obligation to make unilateral concessions for peace.

Now McClatchy’s Frida Ghitis writes Netanyahu’s move changes landscape, and that (once again) the ball is in Israel’s court because Israel’s national unity coalition “creates a world of tantalizing opportunities” for peace with the Palestinians–and heaven forbid that Abbas have to take a stand for peace without another Israeli concession

Israelis have nothing to fear from the Religion of Peace and it is beyond rational dispute that the Israelis are incorrigible. Perhaps they, like all non-Muslims, are demented. Although they have nothing to fear but themselves, they even bark belligerently that they may attack peaceful little Iran, a state that continues to lead the way for human rights and hopes merely to refine small quantities of Uranium to provide modest amounts of clean green energy so that all of her free peoples -- men, women and even blood sucking Jews -- can live in modest comfort. Because of their desperation, obvious penchant for deception and their lack of reliable evidence, Israelis have attempted to rely upon the antics of a few insignificant Iranian clerics comedians and others to bring naive sympathizers to their warmongering side. Those who have joked that Israelis must be wiped from the face of the earth clearly did not mean it. Israelis combine their hatred with their very atrophied senses of humor.  They should be wiped off the earth the sooner the better; but that's beside the point.

Despite the consistently honorable efforts of our principled media to convince us of Israeli treachery, Zionist right wing fanatics (the few racist apostate Muslims who have attempted to mislead us about the non-existent evils of Islam must be allied with them) have tried in vain to show that Arabs are the aggressors while "humanitarian" Israelis peacefully attempt to deal with them in ways finely honed to promote regional harmony. As Herr Zimmerman should have done, the Israelis must now lie calmly on the ground to reflect maturely on the harm Jews have done to everyone over thousands of years and thereby submit to peace loving Islam; then there will be peace in the valley and all will be well. The Israelis and all of their neighbors will then live with perpetual happiness in a prosperous unified land of limitless milk and honey.

The time has finally come. We must have, in our time, peace on earth and good will for all. Self-criticism and reflection on their own evils by aggressors such as the Israelis and Herr Zimmerman are the proven keys that have stood the test of time. Only if the racist Israelis promptly cease their unprovoked hate-filled retaliations against the peaceful Palestinians, Iranians and other neighbors and reciprocate their valiant efforts to achieve peace can a viable peace process continue. Otherwise, there will never be peace until all Israelis vanish. Racist White people like Herr Zimmerman (the name even sounds Jewish) must do the same. It is the will of Allah, may his Holy Name be praised by all throughout eternity.  Bismi-llāhi r-raḥmāni r-raḥīmi (بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم).

**************** [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=26Ejpi3tbOM]

Video link