Unfortunately certain questions from child to parent are verboten in my family and always have been unless the parent introduces the topic.My siblings and I were never allowed to ask how much money Daddy made? Or did they have sex before the wedding? Does Daddy still have Ben and Betsy? His names for two shotguns? Do we have funding and contacts for his funeral when that happens? Does he have a will written? We are all in late 50s and no one dares to ask, or at best you get the Silent Treatment.
We are all in late 50s and no one dares to ask...”
I understand all too well why you are saying this and IMO it is one of the biggest mistakes anyone, regardless of their age, can make. But I learned this the hard way after dealing with all the paperwork and legal issues after the death of my daughter and my mother.
Right after I completed all their estate issues and could deal with things a little more rationally I put together a loose leaf binder entitled “If I should die before I wake...” It has everything in it from names of utility companies and their phone numbers, who I owe money to, a list of all my possessions and who is to get what, things that could be sold and their value, all my internet passwords, list of who to call and their phone numbers, who to email and their addresses, how to run final reports for my clients, insurance policies, bank accounts, etc.
I glance through it every Saturday morning and update it as necessary. It’s kept on my desk and my son - who also has made his own book at my insistence - knows where to find it.
I have also started another book about my life. Contains some personal information I’m not sure my family really wants to know but it should make for some interesting reading for them.
Parents don’t necessarily trust their children, particularly when it comes to sharing financial information with them. But at least they should leave personal information in an organized form so that winding up their affairs is done in an orderly fashion.