Study Said to Vindicate President’s Economic Policies

A study recently published by the National Employment Law Project reports that a plurality of the new jobs created under the Administration’s economic policies have been low-wage jobs. Data analyzed in the study indicated that while 22% of the jobs lost during the recession were low-wage, 44% of the jobs created since then are low-wage.

“If proof were needed that this president is on the side of the little guy this is it,” said Jason Furman, Chairman of the President’s Council of Economic Advisers. “Expanding job opportunities for those with little education and few skills focuses on the population cohort that is most in tune with the President’s view of the world.”

“Combined with government assistance like food stamps, public housing, subsidized health insurance and miscellaneous free stuff these low-wage jobs can be an ideal situation for a lot of these people,” Furman explained. “The fact that a majority of these new jobs are part time means that a hefty share of the low-wage segment are also enjoying a highly coveted extra leisure time to spend with their families.”

“Step-by-step, the President’s policies are breaking down the preconception that each individual has to provide for himself and his family by working full time at a high-wage job,” Furman continued. “More and more people are coming to realize that a package of government benefits combined with some part time work is an attactive and viable life style in a transformed America.”

Maybe a more persuasive “vindication” of the President’s economic policies is the reported anemic one-tenth of one percent annual growth in GDP achieved in 2014′s first quarter. As bad as this is, the Administration is bragging that it would’ve been worse without Obamacare. “Without this law forcing people to pay an added 10% for medical care during the quarter GDP growth would have been negative,” Furman asserted. “Can we really dare to think of repealing this economic shot-in-the-arm?”

The Congressional Budget Office projects that this “shot-in-the-arm” will compel taxpayers to pay more than $50,000 per year for every person that has signed up for Obamacare. The CBO also predicts that within 10 years the Affordable Care Act will have reduced the number of uninsured Americans from a current estimated 42 million down to a lower total of 31 million.

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

http://azconservative.org/2014/05/03/democrats-say-benghazi-is-old-news-unworthy-of-further-concern/

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/3151710/posts

Unemployment Drops to 0% as Last Worker Leaves Labor Force
The People’s Cube ^ | May 3, 2014 | Opiate of the People Posted by 4Liberty

Comrade Barack Obama today became the first to achieve a milestone coveted by enlightened central planners everywhere when the Bureau of Laborious Statistics announced the much-followed totally-meaningless “headline” U3 unemployment rate for last month was ZERO PERCENT! This means that the glorious economic recovery he engineered after the disastrous Bush years has now attained FULL EMPLOYMENT!

It is a tribute to Professor Obama that he was able to find the Holy Grail which eluded history’s greatest economic thinkers such as Lenin, Stalin and Mao. This landmark achievement along with his establishment of free healthcare for everyone via the Affordable Care Act cements his reputation as the Greatest Leader in this or any other universe for all time.

The dramatic moment occurred at 12:03 PM, four weeks to the day after Lyman Yilk, a pipe-fitter from Bittcling, Pa, finally gave up looking for work. Mr. Yilk has been unemployed since 2005 but was on a celebratory bender since the day after Mr. Obama’s first election and did not know that the Keystone Pipeline (which Mr. Yilk was hoping to find work on) had been cancelled due to environmental concerns. When he finally sobered up four weeks ago and learned the project was dead, he abandoned his search to find a job.

Mr. Yilk was the last worker to leave the labor force and turned the lights out as he left. According to the BLS definition:

Quote: U3: Official unemployment rate per the ILO definition occurs when people are without jobs and they have actively looked for work within the past four weeks. Without Mr. Yilk, there was no one actively looking for work any longer, hence the U3 rate was now ZERO PERCENT, praise Obama!

Gloom-and-doom naysayers were quick to note that the labor force participation rate had also dropped to zero percent which (according to them) was not a good thing as it meant no one was employed. Comrade Nancy Pelosi countered their racist, straw-man argument brilliantly by observing that it also meant no comrade was any longer “job-locked” and each was free to be an artist, writer, hooker, etc, and pursue their passion.

“There is no underestimating this tremendous achievement of Barack Obama” said Paul Klugeman, an expert on hiding declines and fudging economic statistics as well being the self-proclaimed “Conscious Liberal”. “Comrade Obama has achieved the socialist dream of freeing all of The People ™ from the slavery of work and permitting them to live off of someone else’s dime as god, if he existed, would’ve wanted.”

Dr. Klugeman was asked if a problem would arise due to the fact that since no one was working, there would also be no one to pay for the benefits that all the non-workers were collecting.

“Nonsense”, he proclaimed. “The Fed will simply print money for artists and writers and hookers to use to buy things from China! What could go wrong?”

It seems so simple now, it’s a wonder no one ever thought of it sooner.

“The genius of Dear Leader Barack Obama lies in his simplicity”, said Dr. Klugeman.

We agree.

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