Posted on 06/23/2013 11:52:33 AM PDT by John Semmens
The National Security Agency’s widespread warrant-less snooping was justified by Director, General Keith Alexander, as “an essential component of our efforts to protect the Government from hostile adversaries.”
“The idea that we should obtain warrants before we gather vital intelligence is absurd,” Alexander asserted. “Should a soldier on the battlefield obtain a warrant before he pulls the trigger on his rifle?”
Alexander pointed to the large volume of encrypted data flowing through domestic Internet and phone lines as proof that the threat is real and imminent. “The fact that a person would send an encrypted email is, by itself, an indication that nefarious activities may be underway,” Alexander maintained. “I mean, if you’re not doing anything wrong why are you going to the extra trouble of encrypting your communications? Innocent people don’t behave this way.”
The idea that data might be encrypted in order to foil criminal attempts to steal it failed to impress the General. “It should be obvious that encrypting communications is exactly what a terrorist would do,” he said. “Honest people should avoid emulating this behavior. Acting in such a suspicious way in order to protect personal information selfishly places one’s own interests ahead of the national interest. Such misplaced priorities ought to raise a red flag. At the very least, those who do encrypt their communications can’t blame us for watching.”
if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...
http://azconservative.org/2013/06/21/congressman-demands-more-balanced-campaign-against-terrorism/
"Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction.
We didn't pass it to our children in the bloodstream.
It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same,
or one day we will spend our sunset years telling our children
and our children's children what it was once like in the United States where men were free."
President Ronald Reagan
Time to encrypt meaningless drivel and disseminate it far and wide.
Oh yes, and the obligatory: FU Keith Alexander.
Nefarious activity or merely a means of keeping the NSA’s nose out of citizens’ daily lives?
Psst, Billy has soccer practice on Tuesday at 3. Pass it on.
John has a long mustache. John has a long mustache.
Good satire always has a large dose of truth in it. This one almost sucked me in again. I like it.
The fact that a person would send an encrypted email is, by itself, an indication that nefarious activities may be underway,” Alexander maintained. “I mean, if you’re not doing anything wrong why are you going to the extra trouble of encrypting your communications? Innocent people don’t behave this way.”
FU Asshole
People are reacting by covering their e-mail with new sites. Big Brother is angry.
got me....
71234 39983 01132 86069 90389
73127 24213 41980 65765 51596
True, but with the advent of quantum computing, encryption is worthless, at all levels. There exists, already, a 512 qubit computer (D-Wave). It can take a, traditionally, several year problem and arrive at a solution in seconds by exploring multiple solutions simultaneously. A 2048 qubit model is rumored to be commercially available by next year - that's not 4x the speed, it's exponentially faster in an order of magnitude in the tens of millions). What is already built and operational in the NSA data center in Utah would, likely, put these to shame. 256, 512, 1024 encryption keys - these would take fractions of a second to defeat.
“71234 39983 01132 86069 90389
73127 24213 41980 65765 51596”
The Cheese-Whiz is buried next to the elephant on the second floor.
The National Security Agency’s widespread warrant-less snooping was justified by Director, General Keith Alexander, as “an essential component of our efforts to protect the Government from hostile adversaries.”
He views his mission as "protecting the government", not protecting the American people.
Meet The Man In Charge Of America's Secret Cyber Army (In Which "Bonesaw" Makes A Mockery Of PRISM)
Ohhhh, it’s satire...nevermind.
Ya know why people REALLY use envelopes..?
Cuz they’re mailing info about murder and drug-dealing.
Its completely obvious.
Clothes are fine, sure but do you know why MOST people wear clothes?
In order to conceal guns and grenades.
Clothes add to metabolism in NO WAY AT ALL.
almost ALL gang bangers wear clothes and spies also wear clothes.
Why do we permit this..?
“The fact that a person would send an encrypted email is, by itself, an indication that nefarious activities may be underway,” Alexander maintained. “I mean, if you’re not doing anything wrong why are you going to the extra trouble of encrypting your communications? Innocent people don’t behave this way.”And sending e-mail about protected medical information through the e-mail system without encryption is a violation of HIPPA and therefore a crime. So which is it?
And how about Virtual Private Networks?
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