Cocaine Slurpees will be an invention of Seven-Eleven coming near you. That will happen once drugs are marketed everywhere for the lowest possible price.
As for your bureaucrats, they may be be obtuse and power-hungry, but we do need police to keep the streets safe. Streets will not be safe with your libertarian addicts wandering around and vicious gangs lurking in the shadows.
If you learn the difference between a policeman and a career beltway bureaucrat you might be able to form more coherent arguments.
It's nearly a mile to the nearest neighbor, who the hell would build a Seven-Eleven near me? If we had one and they started selling Cocaine Slurpees, we'd probably just burn it down. I don't know where you live, but I think it's messing with your head.