Poetry that is not quite as good as Vogon peotry:
Ode To A Small Lump Of Green Putty I Found In My Armpit One Midsummer Morning is a poem by Grunthos the Flatulent.
Excerpt
Putty. Putty. Putty.
Green Putty - Grutty Peen.
Grarmpitutty - Morning!
Pridsummer - Grorning Utty!
Discovery..... Oh.
Putty?..... Armpit?
Armpit..... Putty.
Not even a particularly
Nice shade of green.
During a reading of the poem, 4 of his audience died of internal hemorrhaging and the president of the Mid-Galactic Arts Nobbling Council survived by gnawing one of his own legs off. Grunthos was reported to have been “disappointed” by the poem’s reception.
‘To Ma Own beloved Lassie. A poem on her 17th Birthday.
By Ewan McTeagle
Lend us a couple of bob till Thursday.
I’m absolutely skint.
But I’m expecting a postal order and I can pay you back as soon as it comes.
Love Ewan.
Grunthos the Flatulent was the poetmaster of the Azgoths of Kria, writers of the second worst poetry in the universe, coming between the third, the Vogons, and the first, Paul Neil Milne Johnstone.
The guide recites a tale of how, during one of his readings of his poem four of the audience died of internal hemorrhaging and the president of the Mid-Galactic Arts Nobbling Council survived only by gnawing one of his own legs off.
He was disappointed by the reception of his poem and so prepared to read his 12-book epic but was prevented from doing so when his small intestine leapt up his neck and throttled his brain in a desperate bid to save life and civilization, killing him.
http://hitchhikers.wikia.com/wiki/Grunthos_the_Flatulent
Oh flundered gruntbuggly, thy micturations are to me
As plurdled gabbleblotchits on a lurgid bee
That mordiously hath bitled out its earted jurtles
Into a rancid festering [drowned out by moaning and screaming]
Now the jurpling slayjid agrocrustles
Are slurping hagrilly up the axlegrurts
And living glupules frart and slipulate like jowling meated liverslime
Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes
And hooptiously drangle me with crinkly bindlewurdles,
Or else I shall rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon, see if I don’t.