Times are so tough...
Posted on 12/30/2010 1:54:16 PM PST by Nachum
The Recession hits everybody.....
I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can't afford batteries.
CEO's are now playing miniature golf.
Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.
I saw a Mormon polygamist with only one wife.
If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.
McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America .
Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.
My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her!
A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.
A picture is now only worth 200 words.
When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.
The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.
Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh Great! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!
LOL! These are good!
Times are so tough that I can’t even afford to pay attention...
So tough that...
75% of people are below the median income.
Times are so tough even the moon doesn’t come out at night!
You gonna be here all week? :)
Ford has introduced their new truck line, the F-139.95
Try the veal!
LOL!!!
Very good!!
lol
Times are so tough that Michelle and Bo had to fly on the same plane.
The economy is so bad, I went to my bank the other day and the teller handed me a note saying, “This is a robbery!”
The economy is so bad, I saw the CEO of Wal-Mart shopping at Wal-Mart.
The economy is so bad that the highest-paying job in town is jury duty.
The economy is so bad that even people who aren’t in Barack Obama’s cabinet aren’t paying taxes.
The economy is so bad, that a prostitute asked me if she could borrow $20 until she can get back on her back.
The economy is so bad, people are standing behind President George Bush wherever he goes hoping for free shoes.
Q: What’s the difference between an investment banker and a large pizza?
A: A large pizza can feed a family of four.
Q: What’s the difference between Investment Bankers and New York City Pigeons?
A: The Pigeons are still capable of making deposits on new BMW’s.
You know it’s a financial meltdown when your builder asks to be paid in Zimbabwean dollars rather than US greenbacks.
Here’s the kind of thing that makes this country great. A guy in Tennessee was in a food eating competition. He wins the competition. He ate 103 hamburgers in eight minutes. But you think about it, this has been a hell of a year for Al Gore. One thing after another...
...if it cost a nickle to crap, I’d have to throwup.
Ha!
Mrs. Jones is having her house painted, and her husband comeshome from work and leans against the freshly painted wall. The next day, she says to the painter, “You wanna see wheremy husband put his hand last night? “ He sighs and says, “Look, lady, I got a tough day’s work aheadof me. Why don’t you just make us a cup of tea? “
The sex slave I hired turned out to be my wife
Times are so tough Nigerians are getting calls that they won the lottery.
I’ve been so poor for so long they put my face on the front of food stamps
I’m so poor, I can’t even give my 2 cents worth
bfl
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