Been there, done this as medical power of attorney for someone (not a relative) - 2 years nursing home, 4 months hospice (died in June this year). My advice, which was learned the hard way - being thrown into the lion’s den knowing nothing: knowledge is power. Educate yourself on EVERYTHING: medical conditions(s), meds, care plan, rules/regs, process of dying, what hospice is, DNRs, DNHs, what your loved one truly wants, etc. Next, take your knowledge and ask questions - if it doesn’t sound, look or feel right, it probably isn’t. Find an ombudsman (federally mandated) and get their help in educating yourself as to what you should expect & then hold the facility to it. Do NOT be intimidated - if you’ve done your homework, you won’t be. I was told that my person would have died probably two years earlier but for my intervention & care. Her last two years were as good as I could make them for her & she was a blessing in my life. There are a lot of elderly folks warehoused in nursing homes who have no one to oversee their care, make sure they are not dehumanized, and to be with them when they die. It is a true tragedy and what still eats at me is that while I kept this from happening in one person’s life, there are many others that I cannot help.
To all:
Obviously, as someone stated above, some of you are not reading the column carefully. Not all hospice providers are bad. Hospice services are provided at the home. People are dying prematurely when the original mission of hospice was to make the patient’s remaining time comfortable, not to assist in their death through the administration of debilitating drugs. One individual who commented said his loved one refused to eat, this could have been due to a side effect resulting from a massive overdose of analgesics. Some of you may be 30 years old and you don’t think this will happen to you, but the slippery slope theory always applies and one day the treatment (and killing) of seniors and other individuals who our society see as having little value will dwarf those who died in Hitler’s death camps. It’s called “more from the fit, less from the unfit.” Read about eugenics, read the philosophy of Margaret Sanger, the founder of Planned Parenthood who was a major player in the culture of death which now permeates our society. Professor Peter Singer, a professor of ethics at Princeton believes parents should have the right to kill their children up until the age of two. Thanks to the Freepers who get it.
Dan Zanoza, author