A Southern woman needs only three things to survive any social situation: a ‘little black dress’, a string of pearls, and a Smithfield ham.

After a particularly hilarious thread involving some ‘trolls’, I came up with this:

Ode to Trolls

When trolls are about, there’s a definite smell,
And they’ve a hugh, series problem - they never can spell!
From the depths of DU, they crawl towards the light
Trying to spread their foul message of venom and spite.
Like a moose on the loose or a Limberger cheese,
Their presence intrudes like a storm-driven breeze;
With hit and run tactics, they post and then run
Leaving “clean up on aisle #” as a chore to be done.
But Viking Kitties patrol, sniffing out whiffs of stale cheese,
Any troll lurking about will be brought to their knees -
With a crackle and flash and a loud zapping ZOT,
The Viking Kitties all laugh and the Troll is .... NOT!