Global Warming and YOU

The Conservative Funhouse ^ | 3/3/2010 | Zack Falgout

[conservativefunhouse]

By now everyone knows that the threat of global warming is hanging over all our heads. In as little as five years the ice caps will have completely melted causing polar bears to grow flippers. In ten years the oceans will start boiling. The entire catastrophic failure will be complete by 2035, rendering the habitat unsuitable for even the mythic twinkie. This is all fact by the way. It has to be. Al Gore said so!

Or is it? Could it be that the Left’s Holy Grail could be nothing more than a highly varnished, eco-friendly Dixie cup? I, for one, believe that global warming falls under the same heading with Obama’s ‘created or saved jobs’. Did Obama create jobs? Maybe a few, for maybe a week. Could the planet actually be warming? Yes, but that’s not a cause for concern. Here’s the fun part. Science, that glowing bastion of Liberalism that is supposed to do nothing but scare Conservative Republicans like myself, has shown (through the studies of fossils and strata of the Earth’s crust) that the global temperature undergoes cyclical changes. Listen…do you hear the Liberals screaming out in rage and indignation? I’ve sullied the crystal clear waters of science. Oh well, guess they’ll just have to deal with it.

Here are a few examples of what I’m talking about:...

[steelyourfaith]

 

Beam me to Planet Gore !