What Colin Powell should really say.

markbureau.us ^ | 6.11.2007 | Mark Bureau

[bu9418]

Hearing Colin Powell making his rounds again, has me fuming... If he's gonna open his mouth, let me write his speech...

June 11, 2007

Dear UN, Koffi Anan, Leaders of the Free World, Leaders of the Coalition of the Cohersed, Osama Bin Laden, Goat Farmer Al Zarwahiri, Abu Masab Al Zarkawi and his 72 Virgins,

I am writing this letter of apology to the world for my flawed presentation of the pre-war intelligence that led to the ridiculously unwarrented ouster of President Saddam Hussein of Baghdad.

I know now why you voted against this unjust war. Not only did it put the kabash on those pockets Saddam greased in the Oil for Food program, the Satellite Photos we took of the Russian Truck convoys moving equipment from Salmon Pak and other munitions dumps across the Iraqi desert were obviously doctored photos from those two deviant masterminds, George W. Bush and Karl Rove.

Both Bush and Rove have shown how devious they could be when they not only created Hurricane Katrina, but steered it into the defenseless poor urban city of New Orleans, Lousiana. They have further shown their contempt for that wonderful city by having Bush's own KGB, I mean Justice Department, indict the finest representative that district has ever had, William Jefferson.

Further more, I have verified for a fact that even though Joe Wilson was lying through his Chuck Schumer bought and paid for teeth, the seriousness of the charge regarding those 16 words is enough to convince me that Bush concocted this war for political gain.

I realize that the finding of 500 Al Smood Missiles and 500 tons of mustard and serin gas that could potentially wipe out more than a million people, I believe the threshold for defining a weapon of mass destruction has been set to 1.5 million when it comes to Iraq, even though when the Automatic Weapons ban was set to expire, Jesse Jackson made an appearance on Nationwide TV holding an AK47 calling it a weapon of mass destruction.

In closing, Mr. Bin Laden, I would personally like to apologize to you for forcing you into a cave to become just a simple figurehead in your on going one way Jihad against the west. If my actions have caused a hinderence to you in any way, shape or form, I will do everything in my power to see to it that you get 144 virgins upon your unjust and unwarranted demise.

Sincerely,

The Former Secretary of State of the New Tone in Washington. Colin "Barack for President" Powell.