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DUmmie FUnnies 10-16-06 (Leftwingers Befuddled By GOP Electoral Optimism)
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | October 16, 2006 | DUmmies, HUffies, Bob Cesca, KOmmies, and PJ-Comix

Posted on 10/16/2006 5:20:50 PM PDT by PJ-Comix

What's wrong with those Republicans? Why can't they just acknowledge our inevitable win in November? Yes, it is great fun to now be doing our victory dance in the end zone before we even score a touchdown but somehow the Republican lack dejection is somehow troubling. That is the theme of Sunday's Washington Post ARTICLE titled "White House Upbeat About GOP Prospects." Reporter Michael Abramowitz is quite perplexed at the Republican optimism:

Amid widespread panic in the Republican establishment about the coming midterm elections, there are two people whose confidence about GOP prospects strikes even their closest allies as almost inexplicably upbeat: President Bush and his top political adviser, Karl Rove.

This befuddlement is also shared by the Leftwing blogosphere at large. The DUmmies are both befuddled and paranoid about this optimistic GOP attitude as you can see in this THREAD titled, "WaPost: 'WH 'inexplicably upbeat' about GOP prospects' (the fix is in)." This attitude is echoed over at KOmmieland in this Daily Kos THREAD titled, "Bush/Cheney: Democrats are in Final Throes." Finally we have a whacked out loon by the name of Bob Cesca blogging on the Huffington Post who is not shy about letting his paranoia run rampant as you can see in his HUffie BLOG conpiratorially titled, "If You're Gonna Cheat -- Cheat With A Smile!" So let us now watch the Leftwing loonies look on in disbelief and paranoia at the GOP optimism in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, planning to vote early and often on a DIEBOLD machine, is in the [brackets]:

WaPost: "WH 'inexplicably upbeat' about GOP prospects" (the fix is in)

[Diebold.]

Diebold

[Yup!]

"...technology and other assest as their command." That's the key phrase that jumped out at me like a laser beam.

["Assest." That's your mispelled word that jumped out at me like a laser beam. Or rather it jumped out at benburch like a laser beam.]

Please. I don't want to hear anymore Diebold conspiracy theories If Bush is optimistic it's because he's delusional and does not read the newspapers, by his own admission. He lives in a bubble and still thinks it's 2001, and he's a "popular wartime president". Rove is just spinning. Too many people here are too quick to trot out unsubstantiated nonsense Diebold conspiracy theories every time a Republican wins an election. And when asked to provide evidence we are told that the evidence is that there is no evidence because it's all been covered up.

[Sure. Don't worry a bit about Diebold. Just relax and enjoy voting on your preprogrammed DIEBOLD machines.]

Alrighty, in the face of Foleygate, 655,000 deaths in Iraq, NK blasting nukes, Ney's conviction, the Kolbe alegations, Maccacc-gate, and an energized Democratic base, KARL ROVE and George Bush are inexplicably upbeat about their prospects in novemeber. Now, Im not saying Bush should put on a defeatist front, but get real. Why is Karl Rove so giddy? Either 1) they are just putting on a false front, or 2) they know something we don't. Absent such knowledge, I can only point to the past as evidence of the Bush/Rove modus operandi, and that makes me think of DIEBOLD. It really isn't hard to understand.

[Karl Rove is smiling all the way to the bank because the ATMs are all DIEBOLD.]

We are dealing with crooks and liars, they are professional criminals, theft is what they do for a living. The terms "diebolding" and "swiftboating" have become part of the common english vocabulary.

[So are "LIHOPers" and "MIHOPers."]

Hitler was confident he could turn World War II around long after. Germany's defeat became inevitable. That's how crazy dictators think.

[We broke Hitler's Ultra Code using a Diebold machine.]

They can steal a close one-- but I doubt they could steal a rout without a hue and cry--even from otherwise complacent, non-tinfoil hat citizens. It only means that Dems must maintain our guard and work as hard as possible to stay on message, deliver the point that we can do better than the Republicans, and make damn sure we get bodies into booths (regardless of what we suspect in re: the machines themselves.) The exit polls vs. the results in 2004 were damn suspicious, but I don't think they've the audacity to try and rook races where someone's been well and truly beaten.

[You underestimate our audacity.]

The Bushites are fully capable of stealing this election, using these extremely insecure and insider hackable voting systems. To what extent they will steal the election is the only question.

[Perhaps you should enter your Diebold voting machine wearing an asbestos enviro hazard suit and oxygen tank to avoid contamination.]

We are bookmarking and bringing this thread back up on Nov 12 along with the many others of whoever that will be coming around to say we told you so. Dang it already, please people get a clue. They stole 3 elections already, what makes you think they wont go after the fourth

[You might not be able to bring this thread back up on Nov 12 due to another DUmmie website meltdown ala 2002 and 2004.]

I think we all should be doing everything in our power to strengthen the growing perception, both through our deeds and words, that a huge Democratic victory this November is inevitable, NOT that "the fix is in".

[Relax my little DUmmie friend. Your victory is inevitable. So why worry? Go ahead and kick Lucy's football. Be my guest.]

Plan A: Diebold
Plan B: Set aside the election and declare Martial Law.

[Plan C: Break out the strait jackets.]

Why would Wes Clark sound like he was gonna shed a tear at the end of his Iowa speech when he said DEMOCRACY is being threatened by these people!?

[Maybe his jockstrap shrunk too much at the laundry.]

Our chances are slim, but we are not giving up without a fight either. We have to pray that the October surprise does not go off as planned.

[YOUR Foley October Surprise went off a few weeks too early. However, your OTHER October Suprise with the David Yuo book attempting to discourage the "fundies" from voting went off right on time but lost its impact because of the premature Foley surprise.]

To be very clear: I want the Democratic turnout to be massive, I want the Republicans to again steal it and THIS TIME I want them to get caught at it. Red-handed.

[The Mighty Rove is careful to conceal up his fingerprints.]

And there is no way they can walk away with a victory in a race where they were trailing 15 points without raising the suspicions of the most ardent true believer.

[And, of course, the polls are ALWAYS right. Why, they are almost as scientific as exit polls. And now to visit the Daily Kos KOmmies...]

Bush/Cheney: Democrats are in Final Throes

[GASP!!! What's wrong with them? Why can't they meekly accept our pre-election victory?]

The story has Rove seeing losses of just 8 to 10 seats in the house. I'm sorry, but unless he's managed to rig all the voting machines... this is akin to sticking your head in the sand and refusing to own up to what's happening on the ground.

[Is Lucy holding the football on the ground yet?]

I look forward to seeing them in hell. But first, I look forward to seeing them wallowing around in a sea of investigations that blows the lid off the corruption that has attached itself to every tentacle of this administration. I could have respected them if they used the political power they amassed to further a political agenda. But they used power for the sake of more power. And it appears to me they are now so blinded by this power that they don't see what we see. The tide is turning. The strength is mounting. The constituent seas are angry. They don't realize it, but they themselves are the ones in 'final throes.'

[HALLELUJAH!!! The Great Pumpkin WILL be arriving!]

Either Bush and Rove or idiots, or they know something we don't.

[Hee! Hee!]

Diebold - no paper trail, easily hacked..... who do you WANT to win? and Rove's answered that..... I think Rove is counting on another wussy lawyerly roll-over..... and if we let that happen we deserve what we get.....

[Roll over and accept your fate!]

I for one am going to be an election judge in Houston, overseeing the entire precinct's operation from start to finish. That includes marking off early voters, picking up the equipment, hiring the clerks, delivering the equipment to a central location, securing everything.

[Destroying all Diebold machines...]

It's useful to them for us to think they are incompetent. I'm not buying into that. Given how much they have accomplished (i.e., to advance their own goals) in such a short period of time, I cannot chalk everything that has gone wrong (for us) to incompetence.

[You are about to enter the Perfect Rovian Storm.]

I can believe they are walking around like this. I think Rove thinks he is invincible because he hasn't lost yet. And for Bush, it is a question of faith. God will not abandon him.

[And Lucy will not abandon you.]

Bush believes in God just like a 7 year old kid believes in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. He is an emotionally stunted child, who has been spoiled rotten.

[Please keep your Bush Derangement Syndrome out of this Electoral Paranoia thread.]

He lies like a rug, he is a thief, a con, and a degenerate. He is evil. Pure evil.

[It looks like I am powerless to prevent uncontrollable KOmmie BDS.]

Perhaps they intend to steal the election with rigged electronic voting equipment, and then start rounding up and imprisoning or murdering enough Dems to cow the rest into submission.

[Back to reality...KOmmie style.]

Perhaps I've been drinking too much Koolaid.

[Laced with lithium.]

I will call. Rove delusional when the election is over and the dems have taken back the house and senate. Until that time, you have to admit he has proven himself to be a foe to be reckoned with.

[Let's see... The Democrat campaigns are being directed by Howard Dean while Karl Rove is the GOP's general. How could you possibly lack confidence in Team Democrat with a matchup like that?]

Their GOTV effort is amazing. I volunteered in No. Virginia last week, and I felt the Dems wasted my time. No clear direction as to what to do.

[And this KOmmie WINS a Kewpie Doll for having a brief moment of mental clarity!]

They have been carefully positioning themselves on many different fronts. I think they are ready. And we are fools if we don't believe that.

[Howard Dean has your back.]

You guys are so scared of Rove it makes me want to puke! Stand up and show a bit of confidence for once, and maybe a little courage! Stop whining and start fighting!

[Lash out blindly in all directions! And now to hear from Bob Cesca and the HUffies ooze PARANOIA. Please begin, Bob, with your delusional staring at several "inexplicably" smiling Bush photos...]

Am I insane or does that grin make it seem as if he knows something we don't? It's certainly not the face of a man who's bearing down on the very real prospect of being investigated up the bunghole for the next two-plus years.

[The former. You're insane.]

What does he know? What does Rove know that makes them so confident?

[WHO KNOWS WHAT EVIL LURKS IN THE HEART OF THE ROVE? THE SHADOW DO!]

And those of us who are familiar with Rove's history of dirty tricks, rat f*ckings and the like, understand that he has is pasty pink fingers on the pulse of the whole operation.

[A RAT doesn't move without being controlled by the pasty pink fingers of the Almighty Rove.]

At the very least the whisper campaigns are his direct responsibility. Diebold and others will handle the rest by electronically moving Democratic votes to independent candidates; friendly operatives state-by-state will purge Democratic voters from the registration rolls; and Democratic precincts will have fewer voting machines than Republican precincts. The same playbook from 2000, 2002 and 2004 recycled for this year.

[All your Diebolds belong to US!]

But the tide of Republican blunders and the ongoing tragedy of the Iraq War could be enough to overcome the cheating machines and voter purges. Rove isn't an idiot and knows this, so what's the wild card? Temporarily low gas prices thanks to Bandar Bush, the president's Saudi bunkmate, and a nationwide ad campaign -- direct mail and television -- telling voters that the Democrats WILL raise your taxes. Underscore will.

[Karl Rove thanks you for the reminder.]

Sorry. It's easy to digress when discussing GOP lies. Lies, though, are the only shot they have. Lying, cheating, stealing, subverting democracy. The usual bucket of rats. But it's enough to allow the president, in the face of two years of shit, to grin as if he's eating said shit. And it's that grin which ought to motivate you and I to get out the vote and make sure we have enough turnout to overcome their overconfidence.

[Lying, cheating, stealing, subverting democracy. Yup! The usual bucket of RATS. And now to hear from Cesca's fellow HUffies...]

In July of 1984,from the floor of the Moscone Convention Hall in San Francisco, I watched the candidacy of Vice President Walter Mondale die just as he proclaimed that he would...Raise Taxes.

[I never got to that part since Mondull had already put me to sleep.]

Bush and Rove will try to once again overturn the will of the American People with the help of Diebold and the usual fraud and intimidation. Whether they will be successful or not is an open question. Of course, in a pinch, they know they can count on Scalia.

[And the Four Conservative Horsemen of the ApocAlito.]

He may be planning on indefinitely postponing the upcoming elections or preventing the newly elected Congress from ever sitting, since, according to the National Lawyers Guild, the current Congress gave him the power to disband Congress in the new torture law.

[National Lawyers Guild aka CPUSA.]

In other words, Mad King George and Rove have no reasons not to be happy. They truly have ultimate control and the general public is so deep in denial, self-deluded, obsessed with the possibilities of change in the coming election, and doing just exactly what Bush&Co want them to that it's gut-wretching. For all practical purposes, as soon as next Saturday, when the War against Iran starts, or even sooner, Bush&Co have everything they need in hand to declare martial law, disband Congress, imprison any potential dissentors and do whatever they damn well please. All that sure would bring a smile to my face! The concentration camps or detention centers, if you prefer, have been constructed, around the country, in old industrial areas and near old railroad depots. You can identify them by the bright, shiney, new fences with barbed wire on top.

[Ah yes. Thank you for reminding us about those Walmart Detention Centers my reality challenged HUffie.]

I thought the same thing when I read the article about their confidence. What are they planning? What do they know that we don't know? Why are these men smiling?

[They are thinking about the pre-programmed Diebolds.]

You ask what they have up their sleeves? We've fallen asleep at the wheel again-- VOTING FRAUD, DIEBOLD, VOTING FRAUD, DIEBOLD, VOTING FRAUD-- did your vote get counted last time? I know mine didn't, and neither did my neighbor's, my friends, or all the people I poll-watched for in Cincinnati-- these guys are SMUG AND SMILING for a very good reason-- they do not even need to campaign....

[Rove told them to go ahead and grab their beauty rest.]

The mistake now being made, is that Dems are starting to make it known (in fact using it as a campaign issue) that they will investigate Bush's bunghole! The public may well reject such an option and vote Republican in Novemember simply on that issue!

[The impeachment that dare not speak its name.]

That grin is the same one from his last election when he was getting his ass kicked in the exit polls. He was sitting with his family in the White House confidently grinning and saying that he was sure he was going to win. No doubt in my mind that the fix is in again.

[You could say that Bush has a fixed grin.]

Care to list for me, in order of importance, what rights you have lost, Tom?? Granted, you cannot take your Hair Gel on an airplane anymore. That doesn't really affect me as I have so little hair. But that may be a big one in your book, I don't know.

[What kind of LOUSY FASCIST country do we live in when we have lost the basic right to board a plane with hair gel? Der Chimpenfuhrer strikes again!!!]

They don't worry about losing because they've signed laws that protect them. They have a plan. Bush pre-emptively (how else) will pardon Rove for everything going back to before he was the Governor or Texas. Bush himself will be untouchable. They will retire happy and wealthy beyond belief.

[Karl Rove will be pardoned for that May 12 indictment by Patrick Fitzgerald.]

Well, he's cheating in this photo. He's either drunk or stoned...how else can he get through his days?

[Twinkies?]

As much as I would LOVE to see W (and Turd Blossom!) fall flat on their faces on November 8, I can't help having a nervous feeling imagining the new tricks that Turd Blossom may be concocting right now to be served to the "nut base" in the next few weeks...Turd Blossom has probably told W something about his "October surprise" and W probably can't wait to disclose it. Hence W's smile and relaxed attitude. He clearly knows something we don't. I know it's coming soon. My only hope is it's not another 9/11 though at this point, I have no doubt they are capable of doing something similar if that would help them stay in power. Losing the majority would be catastrophic given the state of things so they would stop at NOTHING to prevent it! Hugo Chavez is right. The Devil is here. And he is smiling...

[How about a nice quote from the Dear Leader of North Korea commenting on Devil Bush?]

As was demonstrated in Ohio in 2004, it is EASY to program a Deibold voting machine to produce a 5% swing the the results, and that's all they need in certain hotly-contested house and Senate seats. The BEST and ONLY way to counter-act this is to vote by ABSENTEE BALLOT and make sure everyone else you know does likewise.

[A Diebold scanner will be recording your absentee ballot.]

Those pictures of Bush with the shit eating grin on his face reminds me that I have seen that same expression before.....on pictures of Adolph Hitler in the glory days of the Third Reich early in WWII. The similarity is remarkable. I never believed in reincarnation before, but am certain of it now. All Bush needs is a short little mustache and to comb his hair over to one side. His Neocon agenda closely parallels that of the Third Reich, i.e. illegal war of aggression, invasion, torture, propagandist control of the mass media, rigged elections, demand of absolute allegiance to the leader, etc. etc. Hitler does lead Bush in numbers of those murdered, but with over 600,000 Iraqis dead Bush is getting his numbers up there........and then there is Karl Rove, anyone notice his similarity in appearance (fat, pudgy, stupid looking) and tactics with Heinrich Himler?

[ReichFuherer/ChimpenFuhrer. Yeah, I'm starting to see the similarity...I think.]

Please list for me the rights you, personally, have lost.

[I can't take hair gel aboard a plane.]

Funny how you don't hear much troll protest about how we all take it for granted that the Republicans steal votes. I suppose that with modern electronic voting, it's so glaringly obvious that even trolls couldn't talk about "ballot-box honesty" with a straight face.

[I am telling you with a straight face that all Diebold machines are preprogrammed to the "R" setting. Oh, and if you vote "D" then you will be immediately sent to a Walmart Detention Center. I am also telling you that with a straight face.]

Will the Diebold company prepare my taxes?

[Yes, and also microwave your brain and vacuum your vacant skull.]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: election2006; georgebush; karlrove
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To: PJ-Comix
the current Congress gave him the power to disband Congress in the new torture law.

I'm usually up on my Moonbat conspiracies but I haven't heard this one. Can anyone explain it to me?
121 posted on 10/17/2006 10:31:23 AM PDT by BJClinton (Celebrate diversity: re-elect Congressman Foley!)
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To: BJClinton

The poster is mentally ill.


122 posted on 10/17/2006 10:53:33 AM PDT by east1234 (It's the borders stupid. It's also WWIV.)
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To: PJ-Comix
The concentration camps or detention centers, if you prefer, have been constructed, around the country, in old industrial areas and near old railroad depots. You can identify them by the bright, shiney, new fences with barbed wire on top.

These guys are channeling the "UN Black Helicopter" silliness from the 1990s militia movement. Wonder who they think operates the black helicopters.

123 posted on 10/17/2006 10:58:48 AM PDT by BeHoldAPaleHorse ( ~()):~)>)
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To: east1234

Well, yes. BDS and all. But usually there's a complex, convoluted conspiracy or something behind these things.


124 posted on 10/17/2006 10:59:01 AM PDT by BJClinton (Celebrate diversity: re-elect Congressman Foley!)
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To: PJ-Comix

It's going to be a Rovember to remember.


125 posted on 10/17/2006 11:10:23 AM PDT by techcor
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To: PJ-Comix
October surprise!


126 posted on 10/17/2006 11:12:05 AM PDT by dead (I've got my eye out for Mullah Omar.)
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To: techcor; PJ-Comix
a Rovember to remember

I like it!

127 posted on 10/17/2006 11:20:40 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Rovember Surprise.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Rovember ping!


128 posted on 10/17/2006 11:22:35 AM PDT by The Right Stuff
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To: PJ-Comix

...."The concentration camps or detention centers, if you prefer, have been constructed, around the country, in old industrial areas and near old railroad depots. You can identify them by the bright, shiney, new fences with barbed wire on top."....

To know that there are supposedly intelligent people out there (that can actually vote!) in this country who beleave this kind of nonsense is more than a little scary. Geez! Thinking about it, I am not sure if I should laugh or cry..

I have only been around FR for a few monthes and only recently started reading PJ's DUmmie FUnnies. Until than I had no idea how delusional some of these people on the left really are. I mean I have family members who are liberal (*hangs head in shame*). I have a sister who actually refers to me as a "fascist"! (She once told another family member that she considers me "dangerous" because my wife and I own guns!) But I have always considered the liberals to be simply misguided not headed toward instatutionalization! These idiots actually beleave that President Bush will overthrow the U.S. government and declare himself Fuhrer for life!! That he would suspend Congress and imprision all democrats! Absolutely amazing!

Maybe after reading this DUmmie stuff for awhile you grow immune to it? But for now I can only wonder - What is wrong with these people (and where are their parents?). Absolutely amazing!!



129 posted on 10/17/2006 11:32:05 AM PDT by Mtner77
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To: PJ-Comix

Add me to the DU funnies list please!


130 posted on 10/17/2006 11:37:41 AM PDT by redgolum ("God is dead" -- Nietzsche. "Nietzsche is dead" -- God.)
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To: PJ-Comix
PJ, I don't think that this deserves it's own thread (though it may come to that, but I don't want to post it), so since this is a DU-related thread, I hope you'll forgive me for this hijack.

Yesterday, the DUmmies claimed that Ed Schultz would allow the gay activist who keeps a list of closeted gay Republicans to out a Republican senator on his show today. It seems the victim of this violation of privacy (at least) and maybe even slander will be Sen. Larry Craig. Just a heads up.
131 posted on 10/17/2006 11:51:45 AM PDT by WinOne4TheGipper (Sometimes those who scream loudest for "justice" are the ones that want real justice the least.)
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To: CharlieOK1
By the way, is there anything gayer than calling every possible scandal 'whatever-gate'. Any way to connect it to Nixon I guess...

If you feel like stooping to their level (and, for a good bit of parody, stoop away!), use the suffix -quiddick wherever they would use -gate, e.g., "Foleyquiddick"

132 posted on 10/17/2006 12:37:41 PM PDT by kevkrom (War is not about proportionality. Knitting is about proportionality. War is about winning.)
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To: Purrcival

Geez, these people are friggin' delusional. We had people on FR back in the late 90's making the same claims about Clinton...saying he would never leave office...declare martial law...etc...etc.

133 posted on 10/17/2006 12:49:43 PM PDT by NELSON111
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To: NELSON111
Now that is down right embarrassing!
134 posted on 10/17/2006 1:06:22 PM PDT by Repub4bush (Tony is the Best Press Secretary Ever!!!!! (Sorry Ari, I liked you too, but you ain't Tony!))
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To: Repub4bush

Yep. Just think it is worth remembering that there are nuts on both sides...and there are nuts here at FR....of course...DU is by and large an entire site of nuts. But, back in the late 90's, you couldn't swing a dead cat without hitting a Freeper who wasn't claiming martial law was coming or suspended constitution.


135 posted on 10/17/2006 1:27:45 PM PDT by NELSON111
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To: NELSON111
Maybe just being out of power makes you paranoid...more so than normal.

I would be willing to bet if we lose the congress and the White House, FR will have it's fair share of DU-like paranoid idiots come out of the woodwork in 2010...and beyond.

136 posted on 10/17/2006 1:29:35 PM PDT by NELSON111
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To: PJ-Comix

Freepers might be petulant at times, and, yes, drama queens, when something doesn't go our way, but we cannot approach the level of paranoia I read in those posts.


137 posted on 10/17/2006 1:42:21 PM PDT by perez24 (Dirty deeds, done dirt cheap.)
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To: PJ-Comix
You can identify them by the bright, shiney, new fences with barbed wire on top.

Good grief! There's one of those right down th road from me. It's disguised as a dairy farm and even has a few fake cows to make it look good, but thanks to this DUmmy I can now see it for what it really is.

This is getting really scary, I may have to adjust the settings on my tinfoil survival suit to Red Alert Emergency status.

138 posted on 10/17/2006 1:44:09 PM PDT by epow ("An unarmed man can only flee evil, and evil is not overcome by fleeing from it." ...Jeff Cooper)
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To: RockinRight
Can't we just shoot them and put them out of their misery?

Then whom would we laugh at?

139 posted on 10/17/2006 1:44:58 PM PDT by NeoCaveman (living in interesting times)
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To: BeHoldAPaleHorse
Wonder who they think operates the black helicopters.

Chimpy McBushHilter-Haliburton?

140 posted on 10/17/2006 1:48:07 PM PDT by NeoCaveman (living in interesting times)
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