Posted on 02/16/2005 9:36:11 AM PST by Atheist2Theist
With the commisioning of the U.S.S. Jimmy Carter coming up here is some background info.
WASHINGTON (Roto Reuters) -- The Department of Defense announced June 3 that the Navy’s newest Seawolf-class nuclear-powered submarine Jimmy Carter will be christened June 5 during an 11 a.m. ET ceremony at General Dynamics Electric Boat in Groton, Conn.
The submarine, Jimmy Carter, honors the 39th president of the United States. Carter is the only U.S. president to qualify in submarines. He has distinguished himself by a lifetime of public service, and has long ties to the Navy and the submarine force. He is a 1946 graduate of the U.S. Naval Academy, served as an officer aboard submarines while in uniform, and served as commander-in-chief from 1977-1981. Carter's statesmanship, philanthropy and sense of humanity have made him one of the most influential Americans of the late 20th century.
Shown here is the artist conception of the U.S.S. Jimmy Carter at sea.
As specified by Jimmy Carter and his daughter Amy the submarine carries no tactical nuclear weapons. The missile system carried is the new Paci-Fist missile guaranteed to pack a punch to those with peanut allergies resulting in possibly wiping one percent of enemy combatants with anaphylaxis. The peace-not-warhead delivers delivers weapons grade peanut butter (P-232).
Mr. Carter initially requested that the submarine use solar power or an alternate fuel such as Billy Beer instead of a nuclear power plant. These ideas were rejected after explaining a submarine that could never submerge or where burps showed on on enemy sonar was of no use.
The Navy is especially glad to complete this project. During construction inexplicably inflations costs for all parts was between 19 and 20 percent. Mr. Carter himself negotiated deals for components from North Korea and Haiti which initially looked favorable but later fell apart. One effort to negotiate with suppliers in Iran fell apart when their Helicopters crashed in the sand.
ROFLOL. These are a classic. Seriously, I can see the sailors nicknaming the sub The Peanut.
All your peanuts are belong to us.
What's it going to do? Shoot ping-pong balls that will float to the surface, and then drop harmlessly in the Iranian desert?
I hear it will have special top-secret equipment to automatically regurgitate wildly false accusations of racially charged voter fraud and suppression in Florida elections, no matter what the real results were.
Plus, it will also be used to turn a blind electronic eye to any allegations of massive genocide, such as those that occurred in Cambodia in the late 1970s.
I suppose some day they'll also use it to calculate the White House tennis court schedule with a special on-board computer.
Word is it will also be specially equipped to assume guilt. And have you ever heard of a nuclear reactor that could “sin in its heart?” Could be scary.
Surely it will have a giant "malaise seeder/spreader" on board, AND a highly sensitive "malaise detector." So, it will be able to roam the ocean floors leaving a trail of ill feeling. Then, at just the right time, it will suddenly detect the global glumness, and announce it to one and all! Neat, huh?
Best of all, I hear it will have the likeness a giant ferocious bunny rabbit prominently painted on the prow, fiercely intimidating a flummox-faced Jimmy Carter, dressed in an Elmer Fudd outfit, all the while holding a canoe paddle in one hand, and nervously licking his lips.
Finally, it will be a classic disinformation vessel, able to broadcast pure hokum with a straight face, such as claiming, as this U-boat's namesake did recently, that our Revolutionary War “more than any other war up until recently, has been the most bloody war we‘ve fought.”
This is just such an outlandish idea -- an attack submarine named after Jimmy Carter! Is this Karl Rove’s idea of a cruel joke on Carter – will people will laugh so hard because it will remind them once again what a sad and bumbling mediocrity our 39th was . . . and still is?
This submarine's propulsion design has a flaw--the sub can only turn left.
Just in case anyone takes seriously the comments about ths being a cruel joke by Karl Rove, this boat was conceived and the building of it begun (keel laid, etc.) during the Clinton Administration. Remember him? Here is the brief to-date history of the USS Jimmy Carter.
General Characteristics: Awarded: June 29, 1996
Keel laid: 1998
Launched: May 13, 2004
The Commissioning is what is up and coming this year.
But . . . I still say is is completely outrageous!
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