Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

The "Heaviest element yet known to science"
E-mail | Unknown | Unknown

Posted on 05/21/2002 8:19:58 AM PDT by FreetheSouth!

A major research institution recently announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. This new element has been tentatively named "Administratium." Administratium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons and 111 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by a force called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Administratium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.

A minute amount of Administratium causes one reaction to take over four days to complete when it would normally take less than a second. Administratium has a normal half-life of three years; it does not decay but instead undergoes a reorganization, in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons and assistant deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Administratium's mass actually increases over time, since each reorganization causes some morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This moron-promoting characteristic has lead some scientists to speculate that Administratium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass."

You'll know it when you see it...


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS:
Yes,yes you little "posted here" wankers I know this was posted in 99 but it is sadly still true today.
1 posted on 05/21/2002 8:19:58 AM PDT by FreetheSouth!
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: FreetheSouth!
whoa...I thought it was Jerry Nadler
2 posted on 05/21/2002 8:23:42 AM PDT by stylin19a
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: FreetheSouth!
LOL! So true.
3 posted on 05/21/2002 8:24:53 AM PDT by TroutStalker
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: FreetheSouth!

4 posted on 05/21/2002 8:26:00 AM PDT by martin_fierro
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

Comment #5 Removed by Moderator

Comment #6 Removed by Moderator

To: FreetheSouth!
The mark of a perfect organization is the ability to function normally with no contact with the outside world.
7 posted on 05/21/2002 8:37:26 AM PDT by bert
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Surfin
LOL! BEAT me to it!!!
8 posted on 05/21/2002 8:40:28 AM PDT by lsee
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 5 | View Replies]

To: FreetheSouth!
My company's full of it... :-)
9 posted on 05/21/2002 8:41:08 AM PDT by COBOL2Java
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Surfin
Isn't he talking about a fat tax?

Oh, yeah.

10 posted on 05/21/2002 8:41:32 AM PDT by martin_fierro
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 6 | View Replies]

To: FreetheSouth!
Administratium? I thought it was Hillaryassium.
11 posted on 05/21/2002 9:09:43 AM PDT by philman_36
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: lsee; Surfin
BEAT me to it!!!
Me too. Read replies before posting. Read replies before posting. (only 98 more to go)
12 posted on 05/21/2002 9:12:14 AM PDT by philman_36
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 8 | View Replies]

To: FreetheSouth!
Whatever it is, it's the primary ingredient in fruitcake.
13 posted on 05/21/2002 9:14:35 AM PDT by TADSLOS
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: stylin19a
Dang, ya beat me to it. I was going to guess "Nadlerium".
14 posted on 05/21/2002 10:16:20 AM PDT by SoDak
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: FreetheSouth!;Cagey;SeeRushtoldU_So;Washington-Husky
An educational bump.........
15 posted on 05/21/2002 1:36:23 PM PDT by WhyisaTexasgirlinPA
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: WhyisaTexasgirlinPA;FreetheSouth!
Yes,yes you little "posted here" wankers....

Hahahahaha! Best line of the day.

16 posted on 05/21/2002 2:11:10 PM PDT by Cagey
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 15 | View Replies]

To: Surfin
He's got 32 AAA's.

Sorry, that's a 44B if I ever saw one.

17 posted on 05/21/2002 11:45:02 PM PDT by farmfriend
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 6 | View Replies]

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson